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Fruitful Day 13 The Gentleness Of Jesus

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Mark 5:25-43
Matthew 11:28-30
John 13:12-17
Galatians 5:22-23

Fruitful, Day 13

The crowds were gathering, pressing relentlessly on all sides.
With His power to heal illness and drive away demons, word was spreading quickly. People from all walks of life, with all manner of brokenness, flocked in masses in pursuit of Jesus, the Christ.

In the midst of this particular crowd was a well-respected Jewish man, high-ranking with authority and political clout as a synagogue official, for he too was desperate. Jairus was familiar with Jesus’ growing fame and His divine ability, as he had likely witnessed Jesus healing a man’s hand in the synagogue in the weeks prior. (Luke 6:6-11) None could do what Jesus did. While Jairus was surely intrigued, he entered the crushing crowd that day out of pure desperation.

His daughter’s life hung in the balance.

It’s easy to step back and critically analyze. One can afford to be curious at a distance, but when it’s your desperation, nothing matters but the pursuit of wholeness.

Jesus immediately responded to Jairus’ urgent pleas to come to his house and slowly they moved in that direction.

Again, the crowds followed.

Can you imagine being Jairus? Desperation met reality as faces swam in front of both men. The mob was filled with shoving and jostling, loud noises, body odor, and incessant pressing of desperate bodies running rickshaw over one another as one little girl’s life hovered between life and death.

I’m not really comfortable with crowds like that, but if I wanted to be near Jesus, I am certain I would have set aside my discomfort to join the throng in pursuit of Christ that day.

Which is exactly what one woman did. Like Jairus, her desperation drove her into the tangled mass of people. She’d endured twelve long years of uterine bleeding, living as a shamed outcast from her community (Leviticus 15:25-27), taken advantage of by doctors who promised cures but worsened her condition. (Mark 5:26) Ironically, she, who had lived over a decade in isolation, was now driven by desperation into a crowd of hundreds with one goal in mind. Wholeness.

Twenty-nine years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Like this suffering woman, I’ve experienced isolation from friends and even family because of disease. People are uncomfortable with such ravaging illness and don’t know what to say, so they stay away. They fear “catching” cancer themselves, and in their attempt to self-protect, they left me alone. I imagine this woman and I had many common experiences. Fear. Shame. Abandonment. Loss. Grief. Add to those woes the fact that her condition was neither diagnosable nor curable, despite the costly search for answers, and her desperation becomes nearly palpable.

Unrelated to cancer, five years ago I experienced intestinal disorders that no test or exam could identify. I too was neither diagnosable nor curable, and after six months of constant appointments, pokes, and prods, I was exhausted. I can only imagine twelve years of such! I can hear her heart’s cry, “What could it hurt to find Jesus? I’ve tried everything else. I have nothing more to lose.”

Jairus, desperate for his little daughter’s life.
This woman, desperate for her own.

Both were met with a radical gift surpassing their expectations.
Gentleness.

I’m sure the woman planned to press through the crowds, likely on her knees, to touch just the hem of His garment and then slip away unnoticed. But at her touch, despite many hands pressed against Him, Jesus’ voice of authority pierced the cacophony, “Who touched my clothes?” (Mark 5:30)

My reaction would have been the same as the disciples’. “You see this crowd pressing in on you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” (Mark 5:31) Jesus knew the difference between the touch of physical nearness and the hope of desperate faith.

In His divinity, Jesus knew who had touched Him.
In His gentleness, He asked His question of invitation.

Tightness grips my chest as I think of her “being caught,” and then I relax, remembering Jesus’ gentleness has invited this woman to step out. I can envision His calm eyes searching the crowd for the woman’s face, fixing His gaze of compassionate love upon her. Scripture records the woman coming with “fear and trembling.” Aware of her healing, she came to Jesus, fell down before Him, and told the whole truth. (Mark 5:33)

Christ’s gentleness drew her to Himself, invited her to unpack the entirety of her brokenness, then responded by publicly calling her His own, “Daughter.” He made her whole.

Not just her body, but her soul.
“Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” (Mark 5:34)

Amid a stunned crowd, a messenger for Jairus arrives with the tragic news his daughter has died. In the span of time it took Jesus to call one woman out of brokenness and into wholeness, another’s life passed away.

Yet, the gentle Jesus turns unhurried, peace-filled eyes to meet Jairus’ red-rimmed ones, “Don’t be afraid, only believe.”  (Mark 5:36)

The nameless woman fades away into the crowd, no longer hiding nor walking with head bowed low. She dances in grace, for the gentleness of Jesus has called her His own, healing her body, heart, and soul.

As for Jairus’ daughter, the Gentle Christ takes her slim, cold hand in His as His divine voice awakens her from death to life. (Mark 5:41-42)

Our desperation, no matter how dire, is no match for the Gentle Christ.
So bring your exhaustion, your desperation, and your faith, and find wholeness in the gentle touch of our Savior.

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Nations Day 13 Created To Participate

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Romans 12:3-8
1 Corinthians 12:24b-13:7
Acts 2:41-47

Nations, Day 13

The Church is God’s people.
But it’s often misconstrued as an experience.

In truth, the Church cannot be confined to our experience or perspective. It is something larger than ourselves, in which we get to participate. We see this in Scripture, and I have had the blessing of learning it through experience. Therefore, I’d like to encourage us to live with zealous love for God by loving the Church, Christ’s bride.

A little back story, I grew up traveling. Our family lived in a trailer in the United States, going from church to church, doing old-school revivals. My parents helped churches reach the communities around them with the message of God’s love through Jesus. My “normal” was meeting new people every week, adapting to each church’s practices, and participating however I could.

Church wasn’t about me. Church was about sharing with others Who Jesus is.

Additionally, my dad pastored. We settled for a few years in Illinois and then Florida. In both settings, I entered into an environment where people had known each other their whole lives. As an outsider, I integrated into their programs and cultural norms. I went to Sunday school class, children’s church, and a mid-week mission class. For us kids, the main goal was to have fun while learning about the Bible.

Church wasn’t about me, but most of the time I thought it was.

Before I started high school, our family moved to West Africa as missionaries. My experience of church and its culture expanded dramatically. During school years, I attended a church comprised of more than 13 denominations and over 20 nationalities. During breaks, I attended Nigerian churches. I wore a wrapper (skirt) and head tie, sat on hard benches with the other females, listened to sermons in a language I didn’t speak, and hummed along with songs I didn’t understand.

Church wasn’t about me. Church was people relating to God, together.

Since then, I’ve gathered with believers on four continents and have worshipped in more languages than I can recall. I have met with God’s people in stadiums and under the stars. I have danced to the rhythm of homemade drums, stood still in the choral of magnificent pipe organs, and wept silently while listening to a man behind me praise the Lord in brokenness after the death of his son.

My experience of church has been broad.  My experience of God’s people has been beyond description. 

As we move into Scripture, it’s important to have a working definition of the word Church. In Greek, the word for church is ekklēsía, which means “people called out from the world and to God, the outcome being the Church.” Often, in North America, people think of church as a weekly event, which is understandable. When God’s people assemble, the Church is gathered, so we can legitimately say we’re “having church.” God’s people are the Church and the gathering of His people is church. 

Paul talks a lot about being the church in Ephesians.
He wrote, “God’s multifaceted wisdom may now be made known through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavens. This is according to His eternal purpose accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Ephesians 3:10-11)
Extraordinary! God’s age-long plan is to reveal His multifaceted wisdom through the Church.

You see, through His own blood, Christ redeemed us. (Titus 2:14)
He has cleansed our consciences from dead works to serve the living God
(Hebrews 9:11-14)
Now, He has given us His Spirit! (1 John 4:13)

How should we, the Church, respond to our God’s stunning mercy and love?
“Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we must also love one another.” (1 John 4:11)
Simply put, we are to love one another, because He has loved us, because His Spirit is in us, and because when we do, His love is perfected and fulfilled. (1 John 4:7-16)

This is why Paul implores the Church “to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3)

According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, showing God’s love to one another means we are to be patient and kind. We should abandon arrogance, jealousy, and predetermined agendas. We are to forgive, bear with one another, rejoice with each other in truth, and to hope. Finally, we are to endure.

Notice, NOTHING in all of these verses talks about what we can expect to experience when we assemble together as the Church. Instead, every verse commissions the believer to live and love from the Spirit at work in her. This wildly unnatural, selfless love will be powerful witness to a lost world.

Sisters, do you hear Scripture’s call to both gather at church and BE the Church?
To commit to community with other believers?
To accept the responsibility to love and build up, according to the Spirit of grace at work within us?
The Church exists for a reason, and we get to be a part of it!

Grow well, my sisters.

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Nations Day 11 The Daily Pressing

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Mark 14:1-9
2 Corinthians 4:7-18
Matthew 25:31-40

Nations, Day 11

My husband, Wes, and I (Laurie), have lived in Zambia, Africa, for 25 years. Together, we minister as Directors of New Day Orphanage. Though we began as traditional church planters, God redirected our paths to grow His Church through the children of Zambia.

Small-scale farming is the primary means of survival for the villages surrounding New Day. Rainy season brings tall maize hiding the villages. During dry season, these lofty grasses are burned in preparation for the new growing season, which means we are fighting fires that threaten the orphanage.

We work among the BaTonga people, the third-largest people group in Zambia. English is the official language, but most rural people speak Chitonga. Wes and I took a short course in Tonga, but certainly aren’t fluent, which presents challenges.

New Day is like an oasis in the desert by providing orphaned children a safe place to live, hear about Jesus, and receive an education. Reading, writing, and math are taught in New Day School, but they also learn hands-on skills necessary for Zambian everyday life, like farming, sewing, gardening, and handwashing clothes.

Most importantly, they learn how Jesus loves them and wants a personal relationship with them. We want every child to know that a relationship is more than going to church, which is especially important because Zambians are very religious people. The majority claim Christianity, but are deeply entrenched in witchcraft, suspicion, and fear, which pervades every aspect of life.

On Saturday or Sunday, they gather together for worship under trees, in meeting halls, open-air thatch-roofed shelters, or concrete block buildings. They sit on floor mats, rickety benches, or chairs for hours to sing, dance, and read the Bible in their language. While this may sound spiritually rich, worship is, sadly, mostly a social gathering.

Living in rural Zambia presses us on all sides; even getting simple supplies from town requires planning. Healthcare isn’t wonderful, but a mission hospital isn’t far. Poor internet sometimes cuts us off from the world’s happenings. As white people, we are expected to solve poverty, be perfect, have all the answers, and help everyone who comes to our door. We live in a glass box, always being watched!

We experience frequent power outages, water shortages, dirt, bugs, snakes, rough roads, flooded bridges, and countless cultural differences to which we’ve never quite acclimated, despite many hard-fought attempts!

Mission life is not glamorous!

We love hosting volunteer teams to minister with us, but it’s obvious they have a false idea of our lives. Short-term teams view Zambian life as an adventure, forgetting that the challenges they faced in the span of one week continue daily for us.

As pressing as daily life is, we also struggle balancing our human abilities with our desire to meet every need while not enabling others to depend on man instead of God.
Let me explain…

At 4am, my phone’s alarm sounds like a siren, waking me from deep sleep. Because of the drought, Zambians experience daily power cuts, which makes me thankful for solar lights and battery fans. Still, it had been a long, restless night without electricity, so my eyelids were heavy, and I was already feeling hot. I knew I needed to get up if I would have any time to pray and read my Bible.

Climbing from bed, I moved to the kitchen and my coffee pot. Grabbing a cup of fresh brew, I headed to the living room for prayer. I felt groggy and knew I would be fighting to stay awake, but I also knew this time with the Lord was exactly the fuel I needed for the day ahead.

I opened my Bible to Mark 14:1-9 and, as the Lord often arranges, my morning devotion was just what I needed to hear.

While reclining at the table for a Passover feast, a woman came to Jesus carrying an alabaster jar of costly perfume. She broke the jar and poured the fragrance on His head. Some complained she was wasteful, rebuking her harshly. She could have sold the perfume and donated to the poor!

Jesus took on her critics, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a noble thing for Me.” (verse 6)

Jesus understood the woman’s heart, knowing she had sacrificed her perfume as an act of lavish love. The gift’s costliness hadn’t entered her mind. She wasn’t looking for praise from others; her highest aim was to give her best to her Savior.

As I read this, I thought about missionary life.
It isn’t easy serving others.

The needs and expectations of our people are many, encompassing the orphaned children and each staff member, but every villager also assumes we can meet their needs.

The people scolded the woman for her act, but Jesus commended her.
She made the right decision.
It was better to please Christ than please people.

As I prepared for the day, I knew many would come to our door wanting food, money, transportation, or other requests. I knew these needs would cost my time, so I asked the Lord to show me the best way to serve Him that day.
How could I lavishly express my love to Him?

Sure, we were Zambian missionaries purposed with sharing Jesus’ love with people, but we were here to serve the Lord, not man. I prayed He would keep me from allowing daily pressures and people’s expectations to determine my decisions.
Instead, I wanted to pour out my best perfume on my Savior. 

As I began the short walk to New Day School, where I anticipated joyful children sounds, I saw the guard moving toward me. This signaled someone was already waiting at the gate with a need. I whispered a prayer, “Lord, help me pour out my best perfume on You today regardless of what others say. We will always have the poor with us, but how can we best serve You?”

Living in a third-world country where poverty surrounds us, desperate needs feel overwhelming. The challenge to be wise in who and how to help brings stress because we would love to help everyone, but we simply cannot, and neither should we.

We want everyone to know Jesus, and place their dependency on Him, not us.
We cannot save them, only Jesus can.

As you pray for missionaries overseas, ask the Lord to give wisdom in knowing the “best perfume” to pour out in their everyday life. Then pray for those who are watching through the “glass box,” that they will see Jesus in the middle of the daily pressing.

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Nations Day 10 I Am Daughter

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Philippians 3:16-4:1
John 1:6-13
Romans 8:12-17

Nations, Day 10

My name is Anna, and I am a Swede-Swiss living in Switzerland. We quite often laugh about Americans who don’t know the difference between Sweden and Switzerland. I know most of you understand the distinction, but the truth is, when the Swedish company Spotify was listed on the New York Stock Exchange, they briefly displayed the Swiss flag by mistake.

When I tell you I am Swedish and Swiss living in Switzerland, it might not sound like such a big thing for you. But for me, it has led to a crisis of identity.

Who am I, and is my identity at all important? 

In some way, identity has always been something with which I have struggled. My father abandoned our family when I was a child, so identity was something I dealt with at an early age. What are we, if not a “normal” family? Who am I, if not “the girl whose father left her?” Could anything (or Anyone) else define me?

When I met Christ, I started my long journey of finding home and discovering my true identity as a daughter to the living God. 

I won’t share my entire life’s story, but I moved abroad when I was only 22 years old. Somehow, I had always known my life would be spent in other countries. I have always felt drawn abroad and when I was only 15, I went on my first missionary trip to Romania. I can still remember how amazed I was by the American couple living there who invested in the poor people of Brasov.

It was in Romania I heard God’s calling over my life to live in another country. I thought He would take me to eastern Europe, to work with orphan kids, but His plans looked a little different from mine, and I ended up as a stay-at-home mom in Switzerland. My 15 year-old self would have been dumbfounded, and the questions of identity rolled on, “Who am I, if not a foreign missionary?” Could purpose and identity be found in the life I was actually living?

Living in another country, in a new culture, led me to question a lot of things in life. Activities and relationships born of and defined by proximity suddenly ceased. Instead, I gave serious thought to how I wanted to live, and began making intentional decisions. In the beginning, it was all very exciting, but after a while, it became tiring.

As time passed, I realized I didn’t really understand the culture back home in Sweden anymore. Yet, at the same time, I still didn’t feel fully at home in my new country. I continued wrestling with my identity.

Who am I then, if I’m neither Swedish nor Swiss?
Is my identity important?
As followers of Christ, from where do we derive our identity, and on what are we building our lives?

Even if you don’t live in another country, perhaps 2020 prompted you to ask similar questions. Who are we, if we can’t live our lives as we are most comfortable and familiar? Where do we find our identity as Christians? As a church, who are we if we can’t do our programs as we once had? On what foundation are we really building our lives?

My journey to discovering my true identity has been a long and winding road, but at last, I finally understood that my core identity is not found in the country of my birth or city of residence. Philippians 3:20 reminds me, “Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Furthermore, I am not an abandoned girl or a stranger, but an adopted daughter of the King. Indeed, “the Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children.” (Romans 8:16) Now, I build my life on Christ and He alone defines my identity. 

You might also be asking yourself hard questions. On what are you really building your life and identity? Is it your work, your education, your nationality, or money? All of these are good, but hear me, they do not define you and cannot serve as an immovable foundation for your life.

Let’s make a subtle shift to those questions.
Instead of “who am I,” we ask “Whose am I?”
Instead of “what is the bedrock of my life,” we ask, “Who is the bedrock of my life?”

Sisters, can we let go of the definitions and labels the world stamps on us, and instead root our identities in His love alone?

I know now that I can be both Swedish and Swiss. I can eat my Swedish meatballs and my Swiss raclette and enjoy how both enrich my life. I know that at the end of the day, I am assured of God’s amazing love for me. I can run to my Father and call Him, “Abba!” because I am His daughter.

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Nations Day 5 Pray For Us

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Revelation 7:9-10
Psalm 22:27-28
Matthew 24:3-14
John 17:20-26

Nations, Day 5

Malaysia is a lovely, multiracial, multicultural country. Let me share a little about our beautiful nation, and give you an insider’s glimpse into the challenges we face and the support we need from you, our sisters in Christ!

Our total population of 33 million people is a diverse mix of Malays, Muslims, Chinese, Buddhists, indgenous Bumiputra, and Indians, to name a very few! Christians (including Catholics) make up around 9% of the population.

Many people in Malaysia are religious and believe in deity; this belief is even affirmed by the National Principles of our country!

As the common view of the society is to believe in God, there are not many debates on the existence of God. Instead, the challenge of the multiracial and multicultural society is the people’s embrace of “respect” of different religions and rejection of “exclusivity.” It is difficult to overcome this listener bias when sharing Jesus is the truth and the only way to God.

There is tremendous cultural resistance to accepting Christianity among the different ethnic groups. Upon conversion and confession of faith in Christ, new believers face pressures and persecutions from family and society. For example, a Chinese teenager who accepted Jesus was cast out from his non-believing family because he violated their traditional “filial piety” practices.

Interestingly, while Malaysia has a national language, “Bahasa Malaysia,” ethnic groups have their own dialects and mother tongues, and often prefer using these to worship God and fellowship with others. From Malaysia, a chorus of praise in many languages rises to heaven!

While the churches in Malaysia are faithfully serving the Lord and their surrounding communities, we face many different challenges, and urgently need prayer support.

First, many churches, especially those in the cities, are losing their youth. Despite our national affirmation of belief, many young people do not believe in God. Please pray for our next generations to encounter God and remain strong in their faith.

Second, while indigenous churches are expanding in rural and emerging townships, the sharing of gospel remains challenging due to high resistance from the community.

Our church also joins with other churches and Christian organizations to care for our community, in ways such as having “tuition” (tutoring classes) for poor students, distributing food to needy families, and ministering to children in the “Orang Asli” Home. We also offer financial support to pastors in East Malaysia who are working in the mission fields, as well as supporting the foreign workers/migrant ministries.

Our challenge in these ministries is that although we are allowed to care for the poor in our local community, by law, we are not allowed to share gospel with people across ethnic lines. Even events like carnivals for the children face strong opposition.

Please pray for God to open doors and gospel opportunities in this “hard” land. We believe only the Holy Spirit can move hearts and bring people to Christ. Pray also for believers to be alert to the Spirit’s guidance as we minister.

Did you know approximately half of the Christians in our nation are from East Malaysia, especially from the indigenous Bumiputra (non-Malays)? A majority of them are second- and third-generation Christians, they need to encounter God personally and relationally.

There is also rising Islamic influence in these ethnic groups. We urgently need your prayer support as we defend and guide our next generation of indigenous Bumiputra believers.

Malaysia is an official Islamic country, with Muslims comprising more than 60% of the population. In Malaysia, religious freedom is for all people, except Muslims. As I mentioned earlier, the government forbids sharing of any other faiths to Muslims.

Additionally, anyone born into a Muslim family will automatically join the family’s religion. Marriage to a Muslim results in mandatory conversion to Islam. Finally, because of the law in Malaysia, churches in Malaysia focus mainly on non-Muslim communities. The result of these combined factors means the Muslim population in Malaysia will continue to grow quickly and exert increasing influence, while also remaining far from the hope of Jesus.

Yet we hold tight to the promises of Scripture:

“This good news of the kingdom will be proclaimed in all the world, as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.” (Matthew 24:14)

“All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD. All the families of the nations will bow down before You, for kingship belongs to the LORD; he rules the nations.” (Psalms 22: 27-28, emphasis mine)

“After this I looked, and there was a vast multitude from every nation, tribe, people and language, which no one could number, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes with palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: ‘Salvation belongs to our God, who is seated on the throne, and to the Lamb.’” (Revelation 7:9-10, emphasis mine) 

We believe these prophecies in the Bible will be fulfilled one day.
All nations, every tribe, people, and language will come to worship God.

We invite you to come alongside and pray for the struggles of Malaysian churches, and our nation!


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Sketched VII Day 13 Journey Of An M

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Romans 8:18-39
Job 33:29-33

Sketched VII, Day 13

I’m an M….
as the sending company prefers to call us to protect our security.

Whatever ideas you hold of those who share the precious gospel across the globe, lay them aside for a few moments. My story likely will not match up with your ideas.

If you’re tempted to quit reading, I’m asking you to pause and pray.
Pray for Ms who are walking through struggles, pray for endurance, and pray for God to faithfully bring about His glory.

The Call
My husband and I felt the call to the field while on a two-week trip to Russia and was confirmed again when we traveled to Zambia, Africa. On our second trip, a little orphaned boy ran up and told me in English, “I am a Christian now!”.
God was at work and we were excited to join Him as full-time Ms!

The Transition
God quickly brought us a buyer for our house and provided us sufficient income as we transplanted to seminary. As excited as we were to study God’s Word deeply, extended family struggles and the enjoyment of our previous ministry roles had us questioning at points, “Maybe we shouldn’t go?”.

But we remembered our call, and God continuously asked my husband in prayer time,
“Are you willing to serve Me anywhere?”.

Off To Training!
Finally, we had enough seminary hours to go to the field! We were eager to learn and tired of waiting; surely God would move us into productive ministry soon.

Training was exhausting!
There was much to learn about culture, barriers, languages, security, and strategy.  Additionally, we had physical training because Americans don’t use their own two feet for transport nearly as much as the rest of the world! We pressed on, encouraged by others who were walking the same process, as well as by our home churches.

The farther into training we moved, the more concerns brewed in my head.
We attended a Spanish speaking church, but we didn’t speak Spanish yet.
Feeling connected to the church and others was difficult, as we could neither encourage nor minister in their language. Everyday, we were to practice turning ordinary conversations towards spiritual things, but try as I might, talking with strangers on the bus or in a store was so difficult for me!
I felt I was already failing as an M and we hadn’t even finished training!

Language Learning
Finally, it was time for our first field placement! We would attend a foreign language program in Columbia. At last, we would be learning our new language, be able to speak with people, and form relationships! We praised God for His goodness!

He indeed showed us His goodness!
Our mentors placed us in a great church where we were befriended and cared for. We were “adopted” by a ministry-loving family who invited us to minister with them in a village outside of Bogota, Columbia. There, we helped with the monthly children’s program by teaching kids the Bible. After only 6 months, I reached the required level of Spanish and was turned loose to work with a local company team while my husband continued classes.

I was excited and anxious because I knew my level of Spanish wouldn’t sustain a deep conversation with constructions like, “if you were to choose to follow Christ, how would your life change?” Even my ability to converse in present tense was filled with grammatical mistakes and vocabulary black holes. I would often talk “around” a word until someone had pity and gave me the actual word. This was a difficult process, but I had un-believing friends on campus who helped me.

I tried using these opportunities to turn conversations to Christ and was met with tolerance, but they really just wanted to work on the English structure assignments they needed for class.
Before long, and with several ministry ups and downs, our formal language learning was over and it was time to move to Chile!

On The Ground
In Chile, we met and connected with our teammates for our day jobs. At every turn, God continued asking my husband if we were willing to serve Him anywhere.
We were ready with our yes, even if it meant IT work (Information Technology).

Which is exactly where we landed.
Each day, we worked in an IT office and connected with local ministries in the evenings. This was the same thing we had done in the States, so I told myself we were still serving God, even though it wasn’t my passion. As a former deaf teacher, I had no experience as a help desk technician and was constantly being stretched. Helping the Ms fix technology issues was challenging!

We found a great little church, but I was hesitant to connect, as we were only there for 4 months. Within that time, we received word that my friend from Colombia had brain cancer. She died shortly after, and I grieved her loss as well as the ministry vision she’d carried for that area, as it seemed to die with her. I started asking God why and was honestly mad He had taken her, but there was no time to process as we were moving again.

In Peru, we set up house with our own furniture for the first time since beginning our M journey; we were building a home! We started looking for a church and built relationships with company coworkers. Lima was close to the ocean and my soul felt lifted by starring out at its vast beauty. I wanted to make friends, but was guarded. We were here for only one year before returning for a Stateside assignment.

Meeting local people was difficult as our work schedules conflicted with theirs. I continued working to convince myself our IT work was enough, while praying God would open “real” ministry opportunities in His time.

Stateside Assignment….
….was a flurry of activity.
My husband’s mom was undergoing chemo and we had churches and family to visit, while most of my time was spent studying a 900-page book on Mac computers to better help the Ms.

Change was happening in our team as well. Our long-term career teammates had a series of family tragedies and returned home, while our short-term teammates’ time ended. Additionally, another family would retire in 9 months.

I focused on studying and gaining IT skills, but also enjoyed knitting hats for my new granddaughter. We stayed in an M house, but weren’t close to either our Nebraska home or our seminary’s church, so again, we were without friendships.

With a stinging blow, we discovered our last remaining teammates would not be returning to the field. With no one left in Peru, we packed our suitcases and moved to Chile. Someone needed to man the technology equipment.

Swirling Questions
I started spiraling into a dark place, perpetually asking God why.
Why did You take my friend who was full of light, life, and loved You?!
Why did you allow hardship for our teammates so they couldn’t return?
Why did You give us a home in Peru only to have us return to Chile?
Why?!

I was also angry at the company.  
They wouldn’t give us permanent assignments in Chile, so we were left as sojourners while our belongings were stored in Peru. At the same time, the company opened a voluntary retirement where literally thousands of years of experience left the field. With our IT jobs, we saw every resignation come through.

I became more upset with God.
Where are You?
All these co-laborers answered Your call! Now You send them home!
You’ve given me a ministry to lead, but the women only care about crafting while tolerating the reading of Your Word.
Why?!

Beautiful Community
We returned to our church in Chile and they loved on us,
supported us, and showed us community.
They cared for us.

When they asked, how are you?
They expected a story and a real answer.
How could I explain my feelings?
I was supposed to me the M, sent to them to encourage and build the church.

True community was just beginning to blossom inside of friendships when visa issues began.  Chilean passport control noticed how often we’d left and returned on tourist visas. We were only permitted one final tourist stay, which led the company to move us to England. My husband was now manager over the field technology Ms, which necessitated him living in a neutral time zone. Waking at 2 and 3AM to talk to his guys didn’t work so well.

Starting Over
With a new plan in place, we visited Peru, sold our belongings, and were off to England. I finally convinced my husband to get my little dog, and we started building a new home as God continued working on my heart.

He gave us a community of believers with a strong outreach ministry.
He allowed me to start a Bible study where over 50 women were attending and growing.
He led the pastor to connect us with Alpha, an outreach to the unchurched. From that ministry, a small group launched in our home.

We were studying and growing in community all while doing our IT work.
God had heard my cry!
I was being used and restored!

Learning His Heart
Difficulty is never over, however, and when England decided to kick out migrant workers, we were forced to leave. We were moved to the US awaiting visa approval for the Czech Republic, which would be our new home.

It was a whirlwind summer of visits, work, and embassy and paperwork runs. We had a furnished house from the company on the east coast, far from family and friends.
Again, I asked why.
Finally, everything had seemed to come together in Peru.
But that was on the outside, God knew my heart.

He was wooing me to understand that service to Him, no matter how good,
was not His goal.
It would never be about what ministry looked like.
It would always be about my heart choosing to trust Him regardless of circumstances.
He is able to accomplish the work with or without me,
what He wants most is me to present with Him.

While in England, we read the story of a man who talked to God.
God cleaned up his heart, making it His home.
Then God told the man He would meet him every day in his study.
For a while, they had a great relationship and fellowshipped every morning, but slowly the man got busy and time slipped away.  One morning, he saw the Lord in his study and asked what he was doing there. “Waiting for you”, the Lord replied.

In training, it was emphasized that the most important thing we could do was abide in the Lord, but He had slipped from my first place.

God wanted me to see that He was doing the work. Period.
I could join Him, but I must wait, trust, and abide in Him, knowing all glory is His alone.

Hear This!
If you hear nothing else, take this in!
Above any work you do, service you perform, or suffering you endure, abide in Him!

You may not understand how He is working, and may not enjoy His process,
but trust His heart. He is working all things for your good and His glory!

As a second take away, remember Ms (and pastors and leaders in your local church) are people just like you who struggle with circumstances, pain, and sorrow.

They may need an invitation to be transparent!
They may be grieving, lonely, hurting, questioning, or even angry. They need your prayers as a community of Christ. Let them know they are not forgotten, and you are their friend.

Listen to their stories, even if they are long, focusing on far-away-events you may never personally experience. Through your compassionate listening, you can help them process!

His Glory
My journey as an M has been full of sweetness and sadness,
but know this: I praise God for the work He continues to do in and through me.

As a final request, join me in praying for the Czech Republic that they will come to know our God in all His goodness.  Pray the Bible study I am involved with will grow and that someday I will be able to speak Czech and share Christ in that language.
For His Glory!

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A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

Join the GT Community and share your thoughts!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Sketched VII Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Sketched VII!

Sketched VII Day 11 My Shaping Moments

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Read His Words Before Ours!

1 Timothy 1:12-20
John 12:23-28
1 Corinthians 15:35-49

Sketched VII, Day 11

I can feel my coffee cooling as time passes between us. I fix my gaze on Billy, hunched across the table from me, head hanging low and shame creeping up his neck. He has every right to be upset: his home life is a mess and his girlfriend just broke up with him.

This. This moment is everything to me as a youth pastor. And yet, during my training, I never saw it coming.

In high school, I developed a deep, lasting friendship with my youth pastor. He called out the best in me, challenged me, and saw something in me I’d never seen in myself.

Following an abrupt change in pastoral leadership during my senior year, I volunteered to help lead a mission trip. Thus, I became the first unofficial youth ministry intern.

As I served under the discipleship of my youth pastor, my faith became real. I began to long for others to experience the magnitude of God, as I had. I am most alive when I see others take steps forward in their faith, steps from death to everlasting life. It is my life’s devotion.

I’m brought back to the present by Billy’s shaky sigh. He’s on the verge of speaking. I wait, allowing the silence to penetrate his soul. I’m in no rush. This moment in time is just for Billy. 

These moments, teetering on the cusp of breakthrough, are pivotal. My best days in student ministry have never been behind a desk, prepping for a catchy Wednesday night message. No, my best days have always been at a table shared with a kindred or hurting spirit.

It took me a while to learn this. I landed a job at Living Stones Community Church before my college graduation.  On my first day of work, I rolled up in my car with a backseat full of textbooks and the latest and greatest resources.

With my pride-puffed chest and irremovable smile, I approached the lead pastor as he watered flowers and we began chatting. “Adam,” he remarked a few minutes later, “you’re going to find out ministry is more than just sermon prep.”

My face remained attentive while I silently scoffed, “That’s what you think. People are going to be changed because of MY convicting sermons. Just you wait. Living Stones isn’t going to know what hit it.”

I began spending my days preparing my sermons. I would sit and dream, praying about what God wanted me to teach my students.

And yet, I was working completely alone. It was lonely, isolating, and depressing.

Then, a mentor told me, “If you want to shepherd but hate sheep, you need to go home.” 

BOOM.

It was the punch-in-the-gut conviction I needed.

I couldn’t just sit behind a desk preparing sermons,
or change the name of the youth group to make it sound catchier,
or buy the latest youth packages available,
and call my efforts discipleship or even pastoring.

I needed to love the students where they were, in hospitals, schools, at basketball games, and school performances. God began giving me a Gospel-ache to help other student pastors love their sheep well. 

Eventually, I began a Student Pastor Network in our area. Once a month, we pray for one another and share ideas.

I also began getting a little dirtier with my students.
I sat in their mess with them.
I stopped preaching at my sheep and began loving them.

I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the transformation He’s worked in my heart. If I’d remained unchanged, I wouldn’t be sitting with Billy, helping him navigate hard questions and confusing times.

“But, Adam?” Billy says. “All of this mess, all of the hard times and sad nights and even loneliness, it’s all worth it for one life, isn’t it? If I get to see my dad come to know Jesus because of everything I’ve been through, it’ll be worth it, right?”

I understand his question; we ask our youth group, “Who is the ONE LIFE you’re praying will come to know and trust Jesus? What is your role in the process?”

I wonder if Billy is also asking if he’s worth it to me. Billy joined our youth group in the midst of my chaotic personal life, and came to know Jesus when I shared the messy truth even pastors are faced with tremendous losses and life-altering, hard decisions.

“Billy,” I say, “it is completely worth it. You are the one life who’s made my struggles worth the pain. My trials aren’t easier, and my messes aren’t cleaner. But God used you to remind me I have hope and purpose.” Billy’s eyes soften as truth settles over him and soothes his heart.

As Billy and I wrap up our time together, I pray over him and ask if I’ll see him at FCA the next morning. I’ve learned connecting with teenagers doesn’t just look like chatting with them when they’re at church, or sharing memes during my sermons, or even trying to use their slang when interacting.

The truth is, I’m going to grow more “out of touch” as I grow older, and it’s ok! I don’t need to be one of them, I need to be with them. I work hard to become a student of my students.

Teenagers are charting new waters, ones many of us have never faced. They are learning to navigate the world not only in person, but digitally. These days, students are bolder with their thumbs than with their mouths, and they need help ensuring what pours from their mouths and their devices reflects what’s inside their hearts. That’s just one of my jobs as their pastor.

I strive to unite all of the roles I fill behind my ultimate calling to preserve the bride of Christ. The Church is certainly not perfect, but she is beautiful, and I want to live and pastor as He leads.

I pull into the church parking lot and give our lead pastor a little wave as I head back inside; he’s watering the flowers again.

It’s been eight years since I began working at this church, and I’m a different man. Our pastor knows I’m heading inside to prep my message. But he also knows I came from meeting with Billy.

It turns out, he was right. There is so much more to ministry than sermon prep.

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A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

Join the GT Community and share your thoughts!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Sketched VII Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Sketched VII!

Sketched VII Day 10 A Step In The Journey

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Sketched VII, Day 10

It’s been said a lot: “The first step is the hardest.” But, let’s consider step 20,000 or 100,000 or even 56,239,168. Each step can have joy, victory, challenge, disappointment, pain, or even failure. Pour your favorite cup, and I’ll share some of my missionary steps with you.

Step #5479
It’s hard to pick exactly when the Lord started leading my heart to love missions. I always enjoyed hearing about people in far away places sharing Jesus with people, but it was always in a jungle or in a hut. I am definitely not that person! Slowly, I started learning how to share my faith with others and what a difference it made in my life to have the hope of salvation. When I sang songs in church about the nations, my heart remembered all those people in far away places that had never heard his name. I thought, maybe, this was something the Lord wanted me to do.

Step #60381
But, I had this picture in my head of what it was to be a missionary, and I did not fit that picture. I was not one of those single women who could go live in a hut or the jungle or brave it all alone away from my family. I prayed and prayed for a husband that would love missions, but he never appeared. As I felt the despair creeping into my life, I found myself one night on my knees crying out to the Lord, “My life is in your hands. Please, Lord, I want to know You more.” It was a turning point in my life as I began to realize that maybe, just maybe, the Lord had a different plan than I thought.

Step #98743
“I’ve been praying about who to ask to go on this mission trip, and I would like to invite you to go.” I was shocked. I had been receiving a prayer newsletter from one of the young women in my Bible study class who had moved overseas. I had been praying for her, responding to her emails, and at times, I wondered what her life was like. I wish I had hours to explain all the reasons why saying yes to this trip was such a leap of faith, but it was my first trip to one of those far away places where no one knew Jesus. I could not speak the language, everything seemed so strange, and yet, everyone was so human. My heart broke. I wanted them to know the same Hope I knew. “How, then, can they call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of who they have not heard?” (Romans 10:14)

Step #102765
I knew what the Lord wanted me to do, and I took that huge faith step of obedience. Looking back, it makes me smile. He knew what He was doing, although I wasn’t sure at all! I got on that plane not knowing how hard it would be, if I would like the food, if I could learn the language, if I would make new friends or if I would miss my family back in the US too much.  “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10) He did not ask me to live in a hut or to be some kind of missionary that I could not be. My most enjoyable days were spent talking to people about life, culture, and Jesus – it felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Step #457987
Even many years later, at times when I step on a plane to go back overseas from the US, I ask myself questions like:

Will I get over this feeling of loneliness?

Will I be able to make new friends who want to learn more about Jesus?

Will the Lord go with me?

Is this where I’m supposed to be?

And, the Lord faithfully leads one step at a time.

The hardest step is always the next one you have to take in faith. As we start this next year, what step is the Lord asking you to take? What will be your response?

“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.” Psalm 37:23

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Don’t miss today’s Digging Deeper!     And we’d love to hear your thoughts from today’s Journey!    Comment Here!

A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Sketched VII Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!
Click the above image for today’s Digging Deeper!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Sketched VII

Sketched Day 15 Shannon

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Luke 7:36-50
Mark 5:24-34
Psalm 18:1-19

Sketched VI, Day 15

I used to be deeply ashamed of my past,
but I’ve learned God has used every part of my journey to shape and mold me into the woman I am today. Although there were many dark moments, I wouldn’t change them. These have become part of my testimony to the faithfulness and hope found only in God.

Growing up, I was taught to attend church on Sundays, pray at meals, ask forgiveness and then we are good. So that’s pretty much how I lived my life.  I went to church, messed up, prayed, asked forgiveness and repeat.
I checked every “good Christian” box, but I had yet to experience or know Jesus.

I was raised in a loving home with parents who were always present for dance recitals, plays, and piano concerts.  What I never realized, however, was how hurtful missing out on three little words from your daddy could be: my dad has never told me he loves me.
He has always been there for me, hugs me, and is active in my kids’ lives, but I’ve never heard those three words from him.
Their absence left a lasting impression on me.

Starting in middle school and moving into high school and college, I began believing lies that I was fat, ugly, and no good. In order to push those words behind me, I would seek male attention in any way that I could.

Then, I hit college and was on my own.
I found myself in places I shouldn’t have been,
doing things I shouldn’t have done.

I believed that, as long as I could get a guy to like me, I had worth.
During this season, I often had thoughts of suicide, but I could push those thoughts away by finding male attention. That lifestyle stuck with me until after I graduated college, came home, and met Ryan.

I slowed down my crazy lifestyle and we began dating. Not long after, Ryan and I were married, and pretty soon I was pregnant with our first daughter, Alexis.

Since Ryan’s story is similar to mine, neither one of us had ever been taught how to live our lives for Jesus and our marriage suffered.
We argued a lot, and I sank back into my familiar dark thoughts and self-hatred.

Being pregnant, we decided it was time to find a church.
Because that’s what we do: we go to church on Sundays.

We visited Pleasant Valley Baptist Church in Liberty, MO and began attending. For quite a while we sat in the back, stayed quiet, and the familiar cycle continued.
Then I started working in the church nursery, because I love babies and
things started to change.

The lady I worked with took me under her wing and started teaching me about who Jesus really is.  We made decisions to follow Jesus and Ryan and I were baptized together.
“Normal” was changing and old cycles were breaking!
The beginnings of new life were taking root in us, but we had much growing to do.

One Sunday, I found a community group for Law Enforcement Officers.  Being a law enforcement family, I immediately thought we needed to go.  Later, I realized it was God nudging me, but at the time, it was my own brilliant plan. I dragged Ryan to the group.

Initially, we were two of the quietest introverts anyone had ever met.
We arrived at the home of Steve and Robin Wright, who are now dear friends and missionaries in Ecuador.  They greeted us, welcomed us, and for the first six months we sat in the corner and didn’t say a word.

We eventually started coming out of our shells, and it was undoubtedly the community I found within that group of genuine Christ-followers that encouraged me to grow in Jesus as He has shaped me into the person I am today.

Robin also struggled with self-worth and identity in Christ, and she drew on her experiences to teach me how to love myself as Jesus loves me.  She taught me how to live every day for Jesus, and how to recognize the source of my pain, truly forgive, and put it behind me.  Steve did the same for Ryan and our marriage prospered.

The Wrights also introduced us into the student ministry at church.  I went from saying, “I hate middle schoolers,” to becoming a middle school small group leader and eventually high school group leader. Today, I’m discipling and leading young women, teaching them how to love themselves and let go of believing dark thoughts and lies in their own minds.

Because of the struggles in my own journey,
I understand their hurt.

Because God met me in my pain and rescued me,
I can share of the comfort and hope I’ve found.

Through the student ministry, Ryan and I took our first mission trip to Haiti together where God opened our hearts to adoption.  We have since taken many more mission trips and adopted our son, Mason, from China in June of 2017.

Although I’ve made many mistakes throughout my life and experienced some dark times,
I know God was with me every step of the way.
Because of Jesus’ transformation, I know how to love myself the way Jesus loves me,
and I am freed to help other girls to do the same.
Only because I’ve experienced Christ’s love is this new life of love and ministry possible!

Ready for more? Dig Deeper!
Join us for every Journey Study by signing up!
Looking for yesterday’s Journey Study?
Share your thoughts from today’s Study!

Don’t miss today’s Digging Deeper!     And we’d love to hear your thoughts from today’s Journey!    Comment Here!

A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Sketched VI Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!
Click the above image for today’s Digging Deeper!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Sketched VI