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Sketched VIII Day 15 Mephibosheth

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Read His Words Before Ours!

2 Samuel 4:1-4
2 Samuel 9:1-13
Matthew 22:8-10

Sketched VIII, Day 15

Fire crackled in the enormous fireplace as heat poured from it, taking the chill from the stone room, and my body. The inviting scent of roasting meat mingled deliciously with the burning embers.

A table was laid before us, plates and goblets arrayed with royal flare awaiting the bounty of fastidious delicacies. My mouth watered expectantly, though I was keenly aware of my unworthiness to be seated here. Self-consciously, I tucked my twisted hand closer to my abdomen. My ratty cloak stank of body odor as it served for my pillow, blanket, and sole protection against wind, rain, and chill.

“I was five years old,” began the man, interrupting my thoughts. He wore bristly whiskers and wispy white hair. His arms were strong and his chest wide. Images of my own deformity leapt to mind in sharp contrast, and I sank into myself.

“Why did this man send slaves into the rain to bring me inside today?”, I wondered. We were strangers and I certainly had nothing to offer.

One moment, I was huddled in the downpour, my poor cloak shielding my eyes, as my one good hand held out my bowl, begging for alms.

The next, I was picked up, literally carried, by two strong men who wrapped me in a warm blanket.

I was ushered into this ornate hall, flooded with warmth, and seated at this fine table. Flabbergasted at this strange turn of events, I wrestled with the idea of opening my mouth to apologize. Surely, this kind, wealthy man, had mistaken me for someone else. But the smell of hot food overwhelmed my conscious, so I sat still, waiting for the food, or for the man to find me out.

“It was the age of wooden swords and giants and gleeful discoveries at every turn,” continued the man. His eyes danced with boyish wonder, as if he was looking at the belly of a bug again for the very first time. “Most of my afternoons were spent wandering the royal gardens or teasing the kitchen servants so they would give me extra snacks.”

The man laughed with delight, and the sound of it warmed my insides as I felt my body relaxing and a faint smile lifting my cracked lips.

A servant arrived, bowing slightly, “Lord Mephibosheth, the meal is ready.”
With a kind nod from the man, the servant departed, and Mephibosheth lifted twinkling eyes to me again. “I hope you are famished!”

Words failed me, at the wonder of it all, but I managed a nod, realizing my reticence reflected me as a fool. Mephibosheth, however, returned to his story, as if I was a devoted friend. He told of his beloved father, how tall and brave and kind he was, how they wrestled playfully in the evenings, and of their hunting trips.

Then he told me of the dark day his father died on the battlefield; the same day his grandfather was killed. Though he’d surely told this story often, deep emotion saturated Mephibosheth’s voice. The depth of tragic loss was like dark waters. How well I, too, knew those waters.

Servants continued piling food onto my plate no matter how much I ate, and my goblet was never dry. As food and wine poured from the kitchen, Mephibosheth’s story continued pouring from his heart. There was bad blood between his grandfather, King Saul, and the next anointed king, David. So when his nursemaid learned of both the deaths of Mephibosheth’s father and grandfather, she feared for his life and literally ran from the palace, carrying five-year-old Mephibosheth.

The royal grandson was now on the run, finding shelter in Lo-Debar, literally meaning “no pasture land”. In the span of a single day, the young boy had lost his home, his father, his grandfather, and, shockingly, his mobility. The nurse had fallen as she ran with the little boy, crushing his feet.

With sudden awareness, I clutched my handicapped hand closely as I watched this stately man of strength and honor push back from the table, revealing twisted feet attached to lifeless legs. My jaw fell slack.

What had happened between the events of that tragic day and now to transform a broken little boy into this giant of a man, full of kindness instead of bitterness?!

Mephibosheth, his gaze lingering over my own deformity, asked the question I couldn’t. His gray eyebrows furrowed, “You want to know why I’m not bitter and angry, don’t you?’”

I dipped my head. Hatred was a heavy burden; I knew, because I carried it.
Mephibosheth extended his hand towards me as if to offer an embrace, were it not for his mangled feet keeping him at his seat. “Undeserved mercy. That’s what happened, my friend.”

My head lifted and my confused eyes met his gentle gaze. “David became king in my grandfather’s place as he was already anointed by God, and he ruled Israel well. I continued hiding in Lo-Debar, keeping my distance, accepting my reality as an outcast.”

I rubbed my arm as Mephibosheth momentarily looked down at his feet, but his voice carried on with vitality, “I married a beautiful woman and after little Micah was born, a royal messenger came from King David. One of my clearest memories of my father, Jonathon, is how much he loved David. Always his stories were of their adventures together. David was closer than a brother to my father, and on the day the King’s servants found me in Lo-Debar, it was to bring me, the outcast, back home.”

Tears streamed down my face as I saw them glistening in Mephibosheth’s gray eyes;
the outcast had been brought home.

“More than that, my friend,” Mephibosheth continued as he cast his arm across the display of rich food, “David brought me to his table and declared I would always have a seat with him as long as I lived. I was deformed and living in a place of defeat, but I was shown mercy. This is why you are here tonight. Mercy is not for the keeping,” Mephibosheth explained with a wide smile, “it’s for the giving!”

In the same way Mephibosheth experienced the kind mercy of King David, so Jesus Christ demonstrates His kindness to each of us. He sends out His own servants to the streets of the world, inviting one and all to come and eat with Him so we might all experience the fullness of life. Come to His table, then extend mercy to others. We are all undeserving!

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A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Sketched VIII Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!
Click the above image for today’s Digging Deeper!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Sketched VIII

Blessed Day 11 Blessed Are The Peacemakers

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Matthew 5:3-10
Galatians 5:22-23
Romans 5:1-21
Philippians 4:4-9

Blessed, Day 11

Have you noticed an entrustment from the Lord typically comes with a weight, making it a gift challenging us to grow and change? Almost like the process through which a diamond is made, through heat and pressure.

Diamonds sparkle with a beauty captivating to the eye and paint rainbows on walls when captured by the light. The outcome of intense heat and pressure is admired and valued, but rarely is the formation process considered. Rather, our attention focuses on the finished product before us.

So what weighty entrustment am I referring to with such a comparison?

Peace.

Yup, peace. And before we get too far away from the diamond analogy, think back to the last time you were in the midst of a chaotic scenario and a peaceful person was present. Did she “sparkle”? Could you sense her peace and see its effect on those around her?

I’ve watched a person of peace step into a room and bring harmony into discord.

The peace came with an authority,
a confidence in Christ Who is our Peace,
a patience,
and an ultimately effective perseverance.

In Matthew 5, we are challenged to be peacemakers. The Greek word used is Eirēnopoiós, which carries the idea of “one who restores peace, favors good understanding, settles quarrels and stops conflicts.” Have you ever found yourself being a peacemaker?

At times, I’ve prayed for the Lord to exude His peace through me. I can guarantee those prayers and heart posture are the exact reason peace rolled off me onto the surrounding situations. I recall a time when a woman thanked me for being in a scenario, because I brought calm with me. To God be the glory!

God alone is the source of our peace. Though I became a Christian when I was a young child, I was already aware of my sin, standing insurmountable, between me and my Heavenly Father. When I entered into a relationship with Him, I also experienced my first encounter with His peace.

In my moment of humble belief, Christ removed my sin and brought peace to our friendship. His profound sacrifice in taking on my sin at the cross met my deep repentance and humility, and He became my peacemaker.

Since then, our walk together has been much like that diamond forming, a repetition of the above process so many times I have gratefully lost count and He has graciously not kept one. As I have grown in my journey with the Lord, He has grown my ability to be a peacemaker to better reflect His other-worldly peace.

Eirēnopoiós
A peace that restores what once was lost. 

So how can each one of us become peacemakers in a world crying out for true peace? I believe we must look to the Holy Spirit for direction and as our sole source of ever greater peace.

In fact, in Galatians, we learn peace is a fruit of the Spirit; peace is not a quality we naturally find within ourselves. It is, however, a foundational characteristic of our God, one He shares with us through an outpouring of His Spirit.

Remember the second half of this Beatitude?
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”
(Matthew 5:9, emphasis mine)

When we radiate and restore peace,
when we seek good and deep understanding of those who are different from us,
when we stop conflicts and settle quarrels,
we are Christ’s peacemakers.

And when we are peacemakers in a time and space when politics have deteriorated to a bitter, blame-shifting disaster, when the economy is in shattered fragments, when people are suffering and dying by the hundreds of thousands, and when fierce battles of social injustice continue to rage in our communities and MURDER HORNETS ARE A THING . . .

 . . . then we will be called the daughters of God, for who but God could bring peace in such pain-filled, dark chaos? The Holy Spirit working peacemaking through us becomes a testimony of our Father’s heart and a beacon of hope to the lost and hurting.

In order to have peace to pour out, we must be cultivating our relationships with the Triune Lord. We must also surrender our understanding of life to Him and seek His face. Philippians 4:6-7 explains how:

“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Yes, this is much easier said than done! But be assured, the Lord is faithful to answer our prayers, and our worship, with His all-surpassing peace!

Sometimes, His peace points us towards engaging in tough conversations to bring resolution to a conflict.
Sometimes, His peace cautions us to quietly wait for the Lord to work behind the scenes.
Always, we need the discernment of the Spirit to guide us.
Always, the Lord and His peace are at the center of our peacemaking efforts.

And as we grow in our walks with Him and peace increases within us (praise God for the fruit He bears), we may just begin to sparkle in new ways.

Shine on, sister, shine on.

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Blessed Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Blessed!

Redeemed Day 1 Once Upon A Time

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Ruth 1:1-5
Judges 2:16-23
Isaiah 43:1-7

Redeemed, Day 1

My first wedding anniversary was nothing like I expected.

Just 365 days prior, I was running to my car with sparklers all around, looking forward to the rest of my life with my beloved.

Fast forward a year, my husband and I went out to dinner and headed back to our new home . . . my parents’ house.

You see, the first six months of marriage were great. We were living on our own, taking weekend getaway trips, and learning more about each other.

But then, we hit bumps.

We got pregnant, and at twelve weeks, lost our first baby.

Then, my husband got hurt on the job, causing him to be out of work and both of us to rely on my income alone. We learned he needed surgery, which would further delay his return to work.

Our plans for moving to a condo closer to the city disappeared just as fast as they’d come, and before I knew it, I was crying on the phone with my mom and dad, asking if we could put our stuff in storage and move in with them. It was all we could afford.

I don’t know about your marriage preparations, but we did not cover this scenario in premarital counseling. “What to do if you have to move back home” was not one of the weekly sessions.

Yet there we were.

Our happily ever after went from bliss to desperation in a heartbeat. 

We went from independence
to living with my parents,
my brother,
my sister,
my brother-in-law,
my niece,
and three dogs.
Talk about a full house. 

Our newly-tested faith was still in the wrestling stage as we dealt with the loss of our baby and mourned the life we’d imagined.

We were lost.

I wish I could tell you everything got better quickly, but this is a place of gracious truth.

We got pregnant later that summer and, after six weeks of hospitalized bed rest, we were blessed with our daughter. We brought her home to my parents’, and were able to move out a few months later. Hope began flickering to life as circumstances improved.

But darkness invaded the fledgling light as our marriage took a turn for the worse. I became afraid that redemption of our love and future might never take place. What should have been a joyous time with our newborn daughter was tainted with death and depression.

Death of what my marriage was supposed to be.
Overwhelming depression as I tried to pick up pieces of our very broken home.

My life was not supposed to be like this.

And neither was Naomi’s.

You see, once upon a time, Naomi had it all.
She was married and had two sons approaching adulthood.
I can imagine at this point in her life, she looked forward to her sons’ marriages and grandchildren in the near future.

But one day, her husband died.
And years later, her sons died, too.

From full house to empty within a decade.

Naomi’s story is touched with death and depression.
So much like my own story . . . and perhaps yours, as well?

Elimelech, Naomi’s husband, had moved their family to Moab during years of famine in Israel. What they believed was the right choice to provide for their family ended up being a death sentence.

Dreams of being a grandma, gone.
Dreams of growing old with her love, gone.
Dreams of having her family together, gone.
Dreams of financial security, gone.

Naomi’s life, on paper, was ruined.

She was a widow, beyond childbearing years, and most likely could not perform the physical labor necessary to provide for herself and her surviving daughters-in-law.

Her story could have stopped here. She could have stayed in Moab, empty, and waited to die.

But God.
God was moving in the heart of Ruth, Naomi’s daughter-in-law.
And did I mention Boaz? He will be joining us soon.
Finally, while Naomi couldn’t perceive it, He was continuing to work out His plan for the redemption of all mankind through the life of one frail, hurting, dejected woman.

What could have been the end was only the beginning.

As we journey through the book of Ruth, I want to encourage you. Just like Naomi, my story did not just stop. 

When your world is all hurt and emptiness and death and depression, your story does not just stop.

The redemption woven into my personal years of famine would take hours to tell. There is life, love, joy, and a testimony that could only come from God Himself. My husband and I, with Christ in our midst, are walking forward with true freedom and joy at the way He’s written our story, and this summer we are celebrating six years of marriage.

I encourage you to dig into this Journey Theme over the next three weeks.
Naomi and Ruth’s story is only the beginning.
Let’s see how our redeeming God is at work in their lives, and in our own.

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Redeemed Week One! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Redeemed!

The GT Weekend! ~ Sketched VII Week 3

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The GT Weekend!

At Gracefully Truthful, weekends aren’t for “checking out”.
Use this time to invite the Almighty’s fullness into you life in a deeper way!
Saturdays and Sundays are a chance to
reflect, rest, and re-center our lives onto Christ.
Don’t miss the opportunity to connect with other women in prayer,
rest your soul in reflective journaling,
and spend time worshiping the Creator who
longs for intimacy with each of us!

Worship Through Journaling

Worship Through Journaling

1) Adam, a youth pastor who had been heavily influenced by his own youth pastor, sat across from another impressionable youth at a local coffee shop. Adam didn’t expect this moment, but is willing to sit in the uncomfortable while the boy across from him wrestles with the big questions about God raging in his heart. Here is discipleship lived out. Here is missional living, right in the heart of everyday life! Adam was willing to engage in another’s life, get messy, and face the uncomfortable right alongside him. Are you? Who has God already strategically placed in your life, waiting for you to get messy and live missionally alongside? Are you willing to sit still and allow the Holy Spirit to enter into another’s wrestling to bring about life change? Start praying for God-sized engagement in the life of someone around you!

2) When you think of “missionary” or “evangelism” or “sharing the gospel”, what happens inside your heart? What images come to mind? Do you find yourself pulling back with fear or breathlessly leaning in with anticipation? The missionary who shared her story on Wednesday admitted that her story likely met none of your expectations for what a missionary looked like. What if this statement was more of the “norm” for missional living? Just suppose our fears for sharing Jesus and being a missionary are unfounded? What if we are anchoring our visual concepts and heart fears of missions on a base of deception planted by the enemy to deter us from living out what God has richly called us into as He builds His eternal kingdom through us? What if?!

3)  Nikki began her story by stating she didn’t know what God was calling her into in the long run, but it all began with one step of obedience because she saw a desperate need. Often, this simple beginning is how the Lord motivates our feet to run towards Him and into His mission for us. He begins by stirring our hearts with a need we can visibly see and increasingly long to meet. This passion is not a mediocre passing thought, but a need that persists and chases. Where do you see this in your life? Or maybe that need was once a fiery burn in your chest, but you chased it away with other things. Just suppose the Lord God Almighty was calling you into something bigger than you can imagine, and all He asks right now is one step of obedience as you see a need?

Praying Scripture back to the One who wrote it in the first place is a great way to jump start our prayer-life! Pray this passage from Isaiah 6:8-9 back to the Lord and
let His Spirit speak to you through it!

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” And he said, “Go, and say to this people: ‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’

Prayer Journal
Whom will You send, Abba? Will You send me? What of my fears? Do I know you well enough? Is there even an “enough” requirement to be sent? Where will I go? To the lost, Lord, You always send to the Lost, to the Broken, to those stuck in their sin. Oh Lord, remind me moment by moment, that “those” are “me” without You. We are the same! Lord, You are sending me out to people just like me. You are sending me to my people. Whoever “my” people are in different seasons whether months from now or decades, break my heart for them. Stir my heart with passion for them to know you deeply and intimately as You stir their hearts to reject their sin and love You most and best. Here I am, Lord, send me!

Worship Through Community

Can we pray for you? Reach Out! We’d love to pray for and with you!
Send us an email at prayer@gracefullytruthful.com

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Share how God spoke to you today!
Comment Here or in our Facebook Community Group!

Worship Through Prayer

Worship Through Music

Sketched VII Day 5 All In

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Genesis 13:5-18
Matthew 8:18-22
Luke 14:25-27

Sketched VII, Day 5

My husband and I said, “Yes” to the something big two years ago.
We’ve been married 10 years, we have three children, two with us, and one with Jesus. We’ve lived in seven houses in three countries.
We’re familiar with the Lord asking us to do something and us (trying) to say yes.

Our most costly “yes”, however, came when He asked us to Go.
For us, going meant moving across the world to share the Gospel with people who haven’t heard it and don’t have access to it from other people in their culture.
These are the unreached.

The price tag for obedience is varied for many, but Jesus says in Matthew 8 it may involve not having a place to lay your head. In Luke 14, Jesus says one should hate his father and mother in order to leave and follow Him. While not literal in meaning, these examples demonstrate what it looks like to surrender. We must be ready to give up everything we hold dear to us if we really want a deep, vibrant relationship with Him. This is not only my family’s cost for obedience, this is for every Christ follower!

Serving in cross-cultural evangelism is hard.
We moved to a country where we knew no one and didn’t speak the language. The food was strange and spicy, the traffic didn’t seem to have any system beyond Don’t Crash. While we have a really comfortable place to live, the plumbing is taped together, the washing machine is filled with mold, and the bugs and critters seem to multiply overnight.

One of our elderly neighbors passed away a few months ago. We attended the wake service for her and our eyes were opened again to the lostness and lack of hope without Jesus. Her religion believes that the night someone dies, God and Satan fight for the soul of the deceased. In order to get that person to Heaven, the family and friends must say special prayers and recite parts of their holy book with great fervor.
Hopefully, the deceased makes it in to Heaven.

We sat for nearly three hours listening to these petitions.
Many people had the prayers memorized.
Some used a book as they recited empty, hollow, words.
Wearing a scarf and long sleeves in the uncooled room was stifling.
Our kids were fussing and bored, tired of sitting quietly for so long.
Spiritually, the heaviness and darkness in that place was oppressive.
This is part of our price for following Jesus with everything we have.

When we see the heart of God, it’s easier to understand why He requires a 100% surrender. Jesus says in John 10:16,
“I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen.
I must bring them also.
They too will listen to my voice,
and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”

The why is rooted in radical love!

This neighbor and her family belong to an unreached people group in our city.
If there is no one to tell them of the redeeming love of our Creator God,
How Will They Know?

How will they believe anything different
than their traditional upbringing dictates?

Paul asks these same, bold questions in his letter to the Romans.
How, then, can they call on him they have not believed in?
And how can they believe without hearing about him?
And how can they hear without a preacher?
And how can they preach unless they are sent?
As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!
(Romans 10:14-15)

If all Christ asked of us was a head-nod assent to the fact that He is God and died to save us, then we not only cheapen His sacrifice, but we also miss out on being bearers of His good news. The cost to carry the good news is high, it’s total surrender.
But it is worth it!

Jesus asks us to give all, but He gave all of Himself first.
And He did it out of love for the lost who did not know Him.

Part of our task is sharing the Gospel with everyone the Holy Spirit prompts us to share with. This requires boldness we do not possess on our own, which is why God gives us His own Spirit inside of us to teach us how to surrender in obedience.

We frequent our neighborhood mall, markets, and playgrounds with the desire to proclaim the Good News often. We also work with a local group of believers to bring increased health to our church, with the long-term goal of seeing them reach their neighbors with the Gospel. All that sounds good on paper, but in the flesh, it’s messy at best, and always involves surrender.

In reflecting on our previous year on the field, the Lord has taught me repeatedly how the goal of my life is not to make it easy.
I’m not promised an easy life in Scripture.
In fact, I’m promised quite the opposite.
“If they persecute me, they will persecute you also.” (John 15:18)

In the midst of this challenging year, He has shown how the joy of my salvation will sustain me. By God’s grace, we may learn to be more effective on the field, but it likely will never get easier. And that’s okay.

What “yes” is He leading you into today, dear one?

Carve out time to ask Him, Lord what would you have me do?
Listen for His gentle whispers.

Praise the Lord, you don’t have to be ready for what He’s asking you to do.
He’ll do it through you as you give Him your yes!
Count the cost, place it before Him as an offering, and step out in surrender.
Immense joy, found in that tight space, is waiting for you!

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A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Sketched VII Week One! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!
Click the above image for today’s Digging Deeper!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Sketched VII

Sketched VII Day 1 Being His

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Read His Words Before Ours!

2 Corinthians 5:1-15
Exodus 3:1-15
Isaiah 43:1-7

Sketched VII, Day 1

It was January of 2016.
My heart was learning to love Jesus more each day, but the road was full of potholes with a constant up and down scaling of mountainous terrain. My marriage of 14 years was equally as roller-coaster-like. We still hadn’t found a rhythm of love and communication since walking down the aisle, giving birth to 6 children, and holding the ashes of our baby.

I loved writing with a passion so great it hurt my heart not to write, but again, I couldn’t find the rhythm to do what I dreamed. Kids, babies, laundry, dishes, homeschooling, church, marriage, tension, h a r d.

Raw footage from my journal in December of 2015…
So now, I’m curling into bed in the room where we’ve spent the last 52+ hours fighting.
Lost.
Alone.
Unknown.
Feeling as if I’ve aged 10 years in 2 days.

Tomorrow will come. I just don’t know how to face it.
how to look in their eyes.
how to look at the mess
in the kitchen
in our marriage
how to fix any of it…

Backing up farther to November of 2014, my marriage thick with perpetual conflict, God whispered, calling me to know Him better. Deeper. Every Single Day.
I had emphasized to others about regular, daily quiet time with God for years, but I was terribly inconsistent myself. A couple days here followed by weeks without reading my Bible. I blamed it on everyone and everything else except me. God called me out of my aimlessness, asking if I truly wanted to follow.

Did I?
Did I really want to follow Jesus?

His Spirit moved my heart to YES, so with blank journal pages before me and Bible open, I tentatively stepped forward in surrender.
Every Day. No more room for apathy.

It was horribly awkward at first, but inexplicably, as days turned to weeks and months, the Lord became everything to me. I was alive, despite the brokenness around me. It thrilled me! A few weeks in, the Lord’s voice came again, “Pray for your husband and write it down, every day.” I remember the moment clearly, and my heart seemed to hold its breath, as if waiting for God to recant. Of course, He didn’t, He only waited for my response.

Would I follow?
Did I even want to say yes?

Before I could begin telling God why I couldn’t, the Spirit within me moved me to YES. I opened a new journal, hesitant at first, writing casual and surface-level prayers, until the Spirit groaned within me, urging my heart into full transparency as I interceded on behalf of my husband, and asking God to change my heart.

I tell you these backstories because it would be easy to begin sharing stories of how God has used Gracefully Truthful to reach women, to encourage them, and to bring about depth and intimacy in their relationship with God.

In the telling, it could look like I had made this happen.
But, I did not.
I know the truth.
I know this journey, this ministry, is not, nor has it ever been, about me.
Because I am utterly broken without my Savior.

Even my Yes to follow has always been an act of God from inside me.

January 2016.
Disarray everywhere.
With the one exception of that solid ground space in my heart where
Jesus had become more necessary than breathing,
Here, Lord asked if I would follow again.

It came in a rush of ideas and dreams.
It was well after midnight and I was still jotting down ideas of what this next step could be as I huddled under blankets in my bed. My heart beat wildly as the Spirit leapt within me, opening my eyes to next steps. Journey Studies, women studying the Bible for themselves, truth being discovered and lived out, the Spirit calling women to life from the grave, equipping women, holding out the life of Scripture with gut-honest transparency, redemption stories, living in biblical community, and the thoughts kept spinning.

The next day, I pulled in three of my closest friends and asked if they would be in for this crazy ride, wherever it led and whatever it meant. They prayed with me, they gave wise counsel, we held hands, and when God asked if we would follow, He had already prepared our YES.

Saying yes isn’t glamorous.
And it really, truly isn’t about us.
It’s about obedient surrender.

Saying yes to following Jesus will always, always come with a price.
This particular yes has cost my countless nights of sleep, evenings lazily watching TV, precious time with my children, and space for hundreds of other activities. This follow has brought me to tears and frustration, tension in my marriage, and so many moments of wanting to walk away.

It has also cost me my apathy.
While following Jesus will always require sacrifice, it will also burn up the impurities in your life you never even recognized.
This is perhaps, God’s greatest goal in asking for our yes, because it means we will become more like Jesus in the process, bringing Him more glory.

With the apostle Paul, let it be said of me,
Since I know what it is to fear the Lord, I am trying to persuade you to follow Him as well. What I am on the inside is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to you.
I am nothing without Christ.
I am not commending myself to you, but giving you an opportunity to be proud of God’s work in me. For if I am out of my mind, it is for God. It is Christ’s love that is compelling me to follow Him because I know this above all else: Because Jesus died for all, all those who are alive should no longer live for themselves, but for the One who died for them and was raised to give them life. (2 Corinthians 5:11-15, my paraphrase)

Let my story urge you forward, Daughter of the Most High.
Not into doing great things for God, but for being a delighted over daughter as you enjoy His presence. In that precious place, His own Spirit will teach you to follow,
and to rest while you trust Him in your obedience.

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A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

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Captivating Day 13 His Heartbeat

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Colossians 1:7-13
1 Timothy 2:1-8
Revelation 14:6-7

Captivating, Day 13

Our miniature matatu (think African style of a city bus…kind of) bumped up and down and our bodies bounced with it without the constraint of seatbelts. Red dust flew up behind us while some billowed through the windows, filling our nostrils with the ever-present African-dust smell. The chatter of my seven teammates filled the matatu, but I wasn’t hearing them. My senses were in the slums of Kenya, seeing, hearing, smelling, breathing my surroundings, but my heart and my head were somewhere else.
I saw children playing in the streets made of dust, I saw women walking to and fro, and I heard men shouting to one another, but in my mind, the red dust of this town was replaced by red dirt of Southern Utah. Children’s laughter was replaced with the memory of the foster children’s laughter from the camp I’d worked at earlier that year.
Never in my life had I experienced the pull and the weightiness of the world… and I broke. 

As we drove through Kenyan slums, I could literally feel my heart being torn in two, slowly ripping right down the middle. When we arrived at the preschool ministry site for the day, everything came pouring out with deep sorrow. I turned to my leader, Allison, and said, “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m here, I know I’m here and I’m supposed to be, but I’m so broken for the people in Utah who need Jesus, and I’m aching for the foster children in Kansas City who need redemption. What is wrong with me?”

“Kendra,” she told me gently, “have you ever prayed that God would break your heart for what breaks His?” I slowly nodded my head and squinted my eyes.
“He’s doing that right now.” 

If I was weeping before (which I was), I was weeping harder now.
I didn’t know God’s heart hurt so much for us, and I only had a glimpse.

If we know anything, it’s that our world is shattered and broken.
Spreading the healing hope of the gospel and praying for nations to know the Lord is our urgent mission until Jesus returns. Paul presses the Church to pray for God’s creation in each of his epistles by asking them to pray for other churches, for people in leadership, and for those who are still lost without hope… but, why?

Why do we pour out our hearts in prayer for the
hurting, hungry, desperate, lost, broken people who make up God’s creation?
Because, God… “wants everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2:4). The Father’s heart is for His Creation.
He longs for us to know His love and be rescued from our sin.

Let us learn from Ezekiel 22:30, where God says He is looking for someone to stand in the gap for their nation, but found no one. We are called to stand in the gap for the nations with the hope of the gospel! Let us, who have the authority to approach the Father’s throne because of Jesus in us, pray for the nations!

Can I be real for a minute? (Ok, ok, I’m always real.)
Sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed with how many people I need to pray for, and how many things I need to pray for, and all the brokenness and lostness and heaviness
that I just don’t pray at all.

I know I need to pray for the nations, for my daughters, for my friends and family, for the people in leadership positions in the Church and in my country, but I don’t always know where to start or what to pray.

I’ve found the best place to begin is rooted in Scripture, following the leading of the Holy Spirit. Read His Word, and be ready to pray whenever and however the Spirit is pressing in.

Pray for the nations’ leaders to be filled with wisdom and be surrounded by wise and godly advisors. Pray for their hearts and ears to listen to wise counsel. (Proverbs 11:14)

Pray for leaders who don’t know Christ to have divine encounters with believers who would point them to salvation. Pray for leaders who are Christians to have steady discipleship pouring into them and that they would have strength to fight the arrows shot at them from the enemy. (Proverbs 2:1-8 and Ephesians 6:12-18)

Pray for unity in the Church in each nation. As each nation writes their own laws and citizens live in ways they feel just, the Church has different struggles in each country. How the Church is being pulled in the United States is entirely different than the struggles for the Church in New Zealand or India. Pray for unity within the Church in each country, and that followers of Christ would base their standards on biblical truth and not what society dictates. (1 Corinthians 1:10)

Sisters, sometimes I feel small.
Sometimes I feel like my prayers and voice won’t matter.
Will the Lord really hear my pleading for the underground church in North Korea?
He will.
He does.
And my prayers are pleasing in the sight of the Lord, as are yours.

Ask the Lord to break your heart for what breaks His.
Ask Him to burden your heart for the lost.
You might be surprised who you feel burdened for, but don’t be surprised when He answers your prayer. When He does, take action and pray for the lost, the hurting, the persecuted, the Christians and the non-Christians, then take steps to bring hope to them!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Captivating Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Cross Day 5 Judas

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Read His Words Before Ours!

John 6:64-71
Acts 1:16-20
Matthew 27:3-10
Isaiah 59:1-3

Cross, Day 5

I did everything I was supposed to do.
I followed Him.
I witnessed miracles.
I performed miracles.
I preached about Him.
I cast out demons.

My hands grip the rough trunk of the olive tree, my mouth tastes of the natural fibers of the rope as I climb. The taste of bile still lingers in my mouth, and my stomach turns as I feel the hot acid rising into my throat again. My head pounds and sweat drips down my back. I’m not sure if the pounding headache is from weeping or rage.

“Follow Me”, He said, and I did.
I left everything for Him!
For what? For riddles and jokes?
I left my life to follow a man who scoffed at my lack of faith?
Who demanded worship and said He was God?
I gave up everything for Him?

My grunt, as I climb another branch, turns into a deep growl and then into a shout.

I hate You! You demanded I leave everything behind – my family, my friends, even the extra clothes I owned to further Your name – all for what?
Nothing.
I walked hundreds – no – thousands of miles, my feet bloodied, blistered and filthy, for You to have Your feet washed by a prostitute? While I sat and watched, my feet throbbing with each beat of my pounding heart. And then, Your feet were washed again? By another woman? You told me to give up everything, and yet You allowed two women to waste their expensive perfume just to wash your feet. The other disciples watched in awe, just the sight of their faces, gawking over the exhibition, made me sick.

I look down below, the ground is further away, but not far enough. I can’t climb too high, or the branches will be too thin. My breathing is getting faster by the moment and my thoughts escape with a shout every so often. I pause to catch my breath, wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs, and look out over the land. The scenes of the days before flash before my eyes in fragments.

I tried. I really tried. I tried to make sense of the nonsense sermons He kept preaching.
I tried to answer His question correctly and ask questions to make me seem important and intellectual.
I thought if I acted the part well enough, I could eventually become everything He wanted me to be.
I wasn’t an idiot, like Peter, speaking before I thought, or trying to walk on water when it was impossible.
I left everything for Him.
And then I left Him.
And now, I have nothing.

That nothingness is exactly why I continue to climb.
I take the rope from my mouth for a moment and spit out loose hairs, willing moisture for my mouth, but I’m parched, physically and spiritually.

No matter how hard I tried to follow His rules and obey His commands, there was always something missing. Surely, I wasn’t the only one faking it. There’s no way every other disciple felt the joy and light Jesus spoke of. Balderdash. A bunch of blind sheep following a smooth-talker, and I allowed myself to get caught in it.

Yet…

How did He perform those miracles?
The crazed man who was set free from all those demons?
The blind made to see? The lame made to walk?
The woman healed just by touching the hem of His clothes?
And Lazarus.
We were all there for Lazarus.
…Maybe he wasn’t actually dead.

Maybe.

But Jesus certainly is.

Jesus.

I reach for the next limb, but my hand misses because the tree is moving so violently. I can’t tell if the tree shaking, or if my vision is construed. I can feel my body shaking, almost convulsing, uncontrollably. My head swirls as dizziness overtakes me and my vision grows dark.

I hate Him. I hate who He made me to be.
But I cannot deny His innocence.

I know He loves me.
Just a few days ago, He knelt and washed my feet.

My feet hit the warm water in the bowl just as He began dipping His hands in. He first took my right foot in His hands, taking care to have a gentler touch as He scrubbed close to my blisters. He rubbed one hand on the top of my foot, while the other held the bottom.
He then reached for my left foot, washing with the same care.

He looked up at me, and our eyes met.
His held His familiar knowing, like He always knew exactly what I was thinking.
But this time I saw pain, sorrow, and even love.
How can one’s eyes hold so much?

I looked around at the other men in and considered their friendship and our camaraderie. There had been many moments of confusion and frustration over our here-year journey, but there had been laughter, jokes, and even pranks as well. Inside jokes were our favorite; just a certain gesture or word would spark heaves of laughter.
Friendship grew across tables, on land, in boats, and in strangers’ homes.

But I had already lost it all. There was no undoing what I’d already done.

30 pieces of silver.

The price of a slave.

That’s what I had deemed Him worth.

I finally reach the perfect spot. I sit tall, gazing at the landscape before me.
I work to find even a moment of peace, but there is no peace to be had.

The pain in His eyes when I kissed His cheek. I shouldn’t have looked at His face, but I couldn’t help it.

I imagined his cries as each spike was driven into His skin, ripping out chunks of His flesh.

I’d seen my share of Roman crucifixions. It took little imagination to see Christ’s blood splatter on the ground, pouring from His open wounds.

Inside my head, I could not drown out the mob taunting and jeering, their anger so heavy it was palpable.

I shook my head to rid myself of the scenes that would not leave me.
I had done everything I was supposed to do.

One more image insistently took form before me:
Thirty pieces of silver.

I tried to give it back! I threw it at the priests begging them to take it, begging to hand over my iniquity. But they refused!

I have nothing.
No family.
No friends.
No Savior.

My hands have finished tying the knots and I carefully slip the loop over my neck. I tighten it until I can scarcely breathe. I take one final, labored breath through the constraints of the rope, and let my body fall.

Sisters, Judas thought he was doing everything right. He literally followed Jesus everywhere. He performed miracles and spread Jesus’ Name. Yet, Scripture says Judas did not have a saving faith. He was so caught in the “doing”, he completely missed Jesus’ entire mission: Save.
Judas died by hanging himself after attempting to return the money he’d earned for betraying Jesus. We can only imagine the grief Jesus felt knowing a man Jesus considered one of His best friends, had betrayed Him.

But that wasn’t Judas’ only mistake.
No, his next mistake was believing he wasn’t worth saving. He believed the lie that he was too far gone for even God to save. Jesus didn’t just die for you and me,
He died for Judas, too.

Judas couldn’t believe it. He never believed the truth that God saw him as worth dying for. Oh, beloved sisters, no one is too far gone.
Not Judas.
Not you.
Not me.


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A Note About Cross
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters in Scripture and looked through their eyes as they saw the cross. We do our best to research the culture and times and all biblical support surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives as they watched the crucifixion, but we can’t be 100% accurate. These first-person stories are our best interpretation of how these characters viewed Jesus as He gave Himself up for us. Our hope is that by looking through their eyes, we will see the Cross differently as well, and be dramatically changed as we encounter the Savior!
Enjoy!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

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Screenshot Day 8 Go Get The Sheep

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Matthew 18:10-14
Jeremiah 29:11-14
John 3:16-21

Screenshot, Day 8

Imagine this: you are babysitting three children. While they all play contentedly, you go to the kitchen to prepare dinner. After you finish cooking, you set the food on the table, and call them to eat. As you round the corner into the living room, your stomach drops and panic ensues.
There are only two of the three children present.
The other is nowhere to be found.
You now begin frantically searching the house while your mind begins thinking of all possible worst case scenarios. Finally, you see a little pair of feet sticking out from under the bed. Phew!
Your heart is immediately filled with relief and joy knowing the child is safe and can now join the others who are happily eating.

A similar picture is painted in the parable of the lost sheep.
A shepherd has one hundred sheep and one is lost, which prompts the shepherd to leave the ninety-nine in search of the one.
On finding his lost sheep, he rejoices and calls his community to celebrate with him as he brings his lost one home.

As I read through this parable, Chris Tomlin’s beautiful song, Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone), comes to mind.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

This song so perfectly shows our Lord’s heart for us.
Like a parent searching for their lost child, or a shepherd searching for a lost sheep,
He will not stop searching for us.

He will continuously pursue the soul separated from His grace
that He might rescue them from sin and death,
lavishing us with His celebratory love of redemption and welcome!

We, each one of us.
You, me,
the girl across the street,
the man on the corner,
the pastor at church,
and the saintly ones we look up to…..
we are wretches before the Just and Righteous God.

We’ve each turned away from His grace, “become His enemies”, and “like sheep, have all gone astray.” (Romans 5:10, Isaiah 53:6)
What separates us?
Our sin.
Black, ugly, all-consuming.
Just one sin is enough to sentence us to an eternity separated from a God who is blameless, perfect, and flawlessly holy. If He were to abide with sin, He would no longer be the Holy and Righteous God.

But, oh sisters, you and I both know we have more than 1 solitary sin against us!
This is the sin that drives us away from the fold of sheep.
This is the sin that keeps us lost.

But God.
Shows His love for us in this.
While we were still sinners.
Christ died for us.

He died to bring us back.
To exchange our status from lost to found.
From shame and hiding to adored and celebrated!
He brings us back into the fold because He longs to give us hope and a future, found only in His righteousness, which He graciously gives as an exchange for our sin, made possible through the sacrificial blood offering of Jesus who took Death in our place. (Jeremiah 29:11-14, Romans 5:6-11, John 3:16-21)

Jesus left heaven, put on flesh, became one of us in order to win us back from the grip of Sin and Death.
The invitation is bold, freeing, and life-giving.
If you haven’t trusted Jesus, for your eternity, what’s holding you back?
What ties you to the identity of being lost rather than found? Is it worth it?

As believers, let this parable from the heart of God challenge us!
God has been showing me in my own life that if I am to be like Christ the Shepherd, then I must begin by throwing off all I claim as self-importance,
that Name of the Lord can reach one more person as I surrender to His ways.

We as believers get comfortable sometimes.
Too Comfortable.

We build church buildings.
And stay inside.

We open the doors.
Expecting people to come in.

But are we going out? 

Here in the Bahamas, we do baptisms differently. Instead of baptizing new believers in the church, we take baptisms to the beaches as we celebrate the sheep that is now found.
We take church outside of the walls in order to reach just one.
It is a beautiful thing.
We have been blessed with the opportunity to be open and bold about our faith unlike many of our brothers and sisters across the globe who suffer silently for their faith.
What are we doing with those freedoms?

Are we going out and getting the lost sheep?
Or are we just staying with the ninety- nine?

Staying with the ninety-nine is comfortable and easy.
Going to get the one is hard and painful.

Getting the “one” looks like fostering children from broken homes,
engaging in a ministry to regain territory from Satan,
evangelizing people that are hard to love,
baptizing on the beach,
or embracing people who are broken and hurting.
It looks like going beyond our borders.

All of these are hard to do.
They require sacrifice.
They require prayer.
They require being visible and possibly ridiculed.
They require being uncomfortable.
They require obedience to this glorious gospel by which Christ has set us free!

God’s mission is to go out and get the sheep, will you join Him?!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Screenshot Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

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