Marriage

The GT Weekend! ~ Beloved Week 3

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The GT Weekend!

At Gracefully Truthful, weekends aren’t for “checking out”.
Use this time to invite the Almighty’s fullness into you life in a deeper way!
Saturdays and Sundays are a chance to
reflect, rest, and re-center our lives onto Christ.
Don’t miss the opportunity to connect with other women in prayer,
rest your soul in reflective journaling,
and spend time worshiping the Creator who
longs for intimacy with each of us!

Worship Through Journaling

Worship Through Journaling

1) When you think of God and sexual intimacy, what are your first responses? Pulling away? Shame? Closeness and delight? Gratitude? How we respond to the idea of God and sex reveals what we believe about our Creator and intimacy with us. As you unpack your beliefs in this area, take the challenge to read through Song of Solomon aloud. Spend some time praying beforehand, asking God to open your heart to understand His desire for oneness and delight in marriage. The world, and our enemy Satan, would have us believe that sex is dirty, embarrassing, and anything but sacred. Whether you are single or married, all of us have room to grow in elevating our view of the holiness of marriage and sexual intimacy. As you finish reading through Song of Solomon, write down the truths that most arrested your attention. Ask the Lord to keep expanding your understanding of these rich truths!

2) We all love the thrilling feelings of soaring excitement when relationships begin or when we finally say, “I do.” It’s the after when the excitement fades, disagreements arise, and suddenly, the glorious feelings we once felt towards the one person we vowed to love are nowhere to be found. Stacy shares of her euphoria at the beginning, only to watch it fade to mundane and lackluster in the after. A million and one distractions tempt us away from growing in love and maturity with our spouse, and if we aren’t on guard, these can quickly fuel entitlement in relationship effectively driving a wedge between two who were once inseparable. If you’re married, some ways your spouse has become distracted and entitled are probably already popping into your mind! But, turn it around and ask the Spirit to show you how you are becoming disengaged and entitled as well. Thank Him for showing you these, then ask for His power to flee the temptation to run towards these and run away instead. Single friends, consider the idols you run towards most often to distract you from hard or messy things. What patterns do you notice about yourself when you are feeling unloved or unaccepted in your relationships? Take these to the Lord and ask Him to show you His rich redemptive work in your life!

3) Give yourself permission to have some space in your day to be still and reflective. Maybe you lock your closet or your bathroom door, or maybe “quiet” needs to look like your kids are loud. Just make the space! Close your eyes, take some deep breaths and consider what it has felt like, or what it might feel like, to have someone sing over you who knows you deeply, wholly, and without condition or judgement. What words would they choose to set to melody? What would their voice sound like? What characteristics would they eagerly highlight about you? What might they say about their own love toward you? What if this was the Lord’s voice over you; how might your heart respond? Pause here and take in these feelings without discounting them or brushing them aside. Beloved, how deeply the Lord loves to love you! Breathe in this truth and let His voice sing over you with bold declaration! Stay here as long you need, then as your time closes, ask the Lord specifically who you can sing over. Whether it’s with true musical melodies or it’s just a spoken word of truth, woven with life-giving love, be willing and ready to extend a song of love over whoever the Lord brings to mind!

Praying Scripture back to the One who wrote it in the first place is a great way to jump start our prayer-life! Pray this passage from Zephaniah 3:17 back to the Lord and
let His Spirit speak to you through it!

The Lord your God is among you,
a warrior who saves.
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will be quiet in his love.
He will delight in you with singing.”

Prayer Journal
Your love truly is matchless, oh Lord, my Savior and my God. Your love is as mighty as an ocean wave at every single moment of my life. When I feel alone in my relationships as friend, daughter, mother, or wife, You “send Your faithful love by day and at night Your song is with me.” (Psalm 42:8) No one else offers steadfast constancy like You. Forgive me, oh Abba, for the many times I choose to hinge my delight on another’s love and care for me instead of yours. Never will Your love change or disappoint; remind me to listen for Your love song regardless of feelings. Make me aware, Holy Spirit, of the countless distractions pulling me away from You, the Only One who loves me perfectly and completely. Empower me to turn my eyes from worthless things, focusing on You as complete satisfier of my every need. As I practice turning and looking in full at You and Your word, teach me how to love others selflessly with the same humility You model towards me. I love You, Lord Jesus, heal my relationships and use me as a conduit of Your love.

Worship Through Community

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Worship Through Prayer

Worship Through Music

Beloved Day 15 Love Song

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 4:1-5:1
Psalm 42:1-11
Romans 5:6-11

Beloved, Day 15

I had just given birth to my 4th baby, a perfectly beautiful girl. After a sleepless night and a ridiculously fast labor, I was awash with love for my girl. Though exhausted, I didn’t dare close my eyes. Head over heels in love, I couldn’t stop taking her in, caressing tiny curled fingers and buttery soft nails, silky cheeks, dimpled chin, and the softest newborn hair. I held her close, inhaling her fresh-from-the-womb scent. My heart was bursting with love, and as my husband slept fitfully in the hospital chair, I sang over my little girl.

I sang the gospel, I sang every hymn I knew, and then I sang them again. I sang songs I made up in the moment, I sang of her siblings, I sang of the God who crafted her. I wept, I prayed, and as the morning rays reached her newborn face, I was more in love with her, if possible, than I had been just a few hours prior.

Love songs have the mysterious ability to enlarge our hearts, soften us, and make us feel we can do anything because we are magnificently loved.

Which is why the Lord of the universe sings over His children.

Zephaniah wrote of God,
“The Lord your God is among you,
a warrior who saves.
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will be quiet in his love.
He will delight in you with singing.”
(Zephaniah 3:17, emphasis mine)

Lord of Lords. King of Kings.
Enthroned by cherubim and seraphim.
Ruler of wind, waves, and every creature.
This is the God who delights to sing over those who call Him Abba Father!

Job spoke of God His Maker, “who provides us with songs in the night.” (Job 35:10)

Is this mystery not unfathomable?!

The entirety of Song of Solomon is a love song.
It overflows with beauty, passion, delight, and commitment between Lover and Beloved.

You have captured my heart, my sister, my bride.
You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
How delightful your caresses are, my sister, my bride.
Your caresses are much better than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume than any balsam.
(Song of Solomon 4:9-10)

Can you imagine the effect on your relationship if your spouse came home tonight and sang lyrics of love over you? Not sugary sweet nothings, but power-packed melodies of hope, truth, and unconditional love. What would his response be if you did the same?

To be sung over is akin to receiving an exquisite, lavish gift.
It’s life-giving, filling, nurturing, and sustaining.

A few years ago, I was up way too late shopping for Christmas gifts online with my long-distance mother-in-love over the phone. We laughed and chatted and somehow, lullabies came up and how special it was that my children asked her to sing over them when they visited. Jokingly, I commented I was jealous that I didn’t get a lullaby. Then, this woman who had birthed my husband and loved me like her own, sang her lullaby over me.

Sisters, hear me, I could not stop the tears. Those few seconds, the gentle sway of her voice, and the unabashed declaration of love will forever mark my life.

This is why the Father of our hearts sings over those who call on Him.

In His melodies, we hear the rhythm of His heart and learn to sway to the tempo of His faithful love.

When fear attacks.
When relationships hurt.
When we weep.
We listen for the song in the night.

“The Lord will send his faithful love by day;
His song will be with me in the night.”
(Psalm 42:8)

My hours-old daughter had done nothing to deserve my love for her. She hadn’t yet pirouetted through my house, received academic awards, or taught me to serve others with generosity. She had stretched my uterus thin, brought significant pain, and terrified me when she wasn’t breathing at birth. I loved her simply because she was mine.

This is why the Lover of our hearts, souls, and bodies sings His love song over us.

The cadence He breathes over us is always love, always victory, always delight in simply being His.

When our hearts rebelled against Him, choosing our sin over His righteousness.
When we couldn’t keep our tongues from sharing that gossip.
When we allowed our hands to impulsively act out our anger.
When we said that stream of hurtful words in defense of ourselves.
When we lied, when we lusted, when we acted in bitterness, when we stole, when we took a life, when we…, when we… and on goes our gross sinful offenses against the Holy God.

If we listen, His melodies continue, weaving in and out, drawing us out of our sin and into His forgiving grace. Pulling us away from our sin-ravaged patterns and into the rhythmic dance of His life of love.

Listen for the Love Song, Daughters; turn from your sin, your fear, and your shame, and sway to the symphonies of His Song.

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Here’s a link to all past studies in Beloved!

Beloved Day 14 Catching Foxes: Digging Deeper

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Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out Catching Foxes!

The Questions

1) How do you catch the foxes?

2) How do the little foxes ruin the vineyards?

3) Why does it matter if the vineyards are in bloom or not? Wouldn’t foxes always be a concern?

Song of Solomon 2:!5

Catch the foxes for us—
the little foxes that ruin the vineyards—
for our vineyards are in bloom.

Original Intent

1) How do you catch the foxes?
Writing this study might be my most difficult writing assignment, easily requiring more research than any other. True confession, Song of Solomon isn’t a book I typically spend much time reading, I’m not even sure I had read the entire book until this study! While its imagery is difficult to understand and interpret, my husband says that telling stories allows difficult concepts to be more easily understood because suddenly, they become relatable.
At the moment, I’m on a plane traveling with a friend to a women’s retreat. Using these few uninterrupted hours to bang this out has been my intention for a couple of weeks. The problem is my traveling companion is watching the Chiefs game on her phone and I keep glancing over to check the score. Let’s be honest, watching Patrick Mahomes make amazing plays is more intriguing (and easier!) than working to unpack a hard passage of Scripture! This is when I realized this football game is a fox! Before you can catch a fox, you need to understand they are lurking about. In his song, Solomon uses a relevant example, a story if you will, his readers would understand. Vineyards were prevalent, and readers would understand the care and attention needed to keep these little creatures out of their just-blooming grapes. The comparison between foxes that destroy fruit and distractions that destroy relationships with our spouse and with God would make sense. The best way to catch a fox is first to realize they will come prowling! Next, is to develop safeguards or boundaries to keep them at bay.

2) How do the little foxes ruin the vineyards?
Song of Solomon graphically depicts the love shared between a husband and wife, providing an example for celebrating love within marriage from God’s perspective. Its poetic song would have stuck out to its original audience as missing some then-common components like manipulation, false-god worship and sacrifice, and using sex as a means of achieving something else. Song of Solomon celebrates marriage, celebrates committed love for spouses, and celebrates shared love that stays between a husband and wife. To safeguard such a beautiful rarity, the Lord included some warnings within this amazing love song like this one about catching foxes that ruin the vineyard. While the Song was originally written to celebrate, and give wise counsel for, a marriage relationship, we can make some connections to our relationship with God from the Song. In the Old Testament, God often used marriage to illustrate His divine relationship with His people. Check out the book of Hosea and our accompanying Journey Theme, Bride, for some amazing insights! The foxes in Solomon’s song smell the blossoming grapes and are hungry, they are looking for food. More than likely the foxes aren’t sitting back thinking, “I can’t wait to get in there and destroy that vineyard.” No, they are simply looking to satisfy their hunger. Being aware of sabotages, and setting up safeguards, boundaries, or traps for these sly foxes would have been familiar to the first readers. Given the context, they would have made the correlation between vineyards and their hearts.

3) Why does it matter if the vineyards are in bloom or not? Wouldn’t foxes always be a concern?
When something is in bloom, it’s fresh and new. I would imagine there may be a different scent to fresh blossoming grapes that could be more attractive to hungry little foxes. Vines which are just beginning to grow, are naturally weaker and more susceptible to harm. Foxes would always be a concern, but more attention would be taken at the beginning to ensure vines received the best care in order to develop into maturity. The same reality translates into the dynamics of a new, blossoming relationship as described in Song of Solomon. When love is fresh and new, you are naturally more aware of potential distractions or enemies. This would have been a reminder for both of the lovers to keep their eyes open and hearts focused on developing a strong, enduring love with one another.

Everyday Application

1) How do you catch the foxes?
You should also know this particular football game was originally scheduled for Thursday, but had been postponed to Monday during my flight due to Covid-19. Additionally, our flight was originally scheduled for earlier that Monday, but the airline changed the departure time. All the while, I was completely oblivious to how these small, seemingly insignificant, distractions would eventually keep me from focusing on writing. I was not looking for, or mentally putting up any safeguards, for foxes (distractions) that might creep in, overtaking my study time. Notice how the Scripture says “little” foxes. This is often how distractions work! Little things here and there that, when all added together, are enough to create a big distraction stealing away our focus. Relationships are hard! Not only those with our spouses, but also with God. They both take time, energy, and attention. If we don’t make a conscious effort to be aware of what is happening, and understand that distractions (often seemingly good ones) will come, we will be overrun by little foxes sooner than later. Without preparing for the already-present foxes, we’re already losing the battle to safeguard our precious relationships. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us of this same thing, “Be alert. Your adversary, the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion”. We must pay attention not only to what is happening around us, but also to potential places in which distractions might sneak in and rob us of spending time with God or our loves.

2) How do the little foxes ruin the vineyards?
The easy answer is they ruin the vineyards of our hearts by stealing our focus and attention. Recognizing these “little foxes” is half the battle. We all are well aware of how easy it is to turn our eyes away for just one minute only to realize much later that our relationship is in trouble. This holds true both in our human relationships as well as our relationship with God. Distractions don’t need to be big, or even bad, to do significant damage. When talking about the relationship with our spouse, distractions come in many shapes and sizes like kids, finances, jobs, keeping the house clean and laundry caught up, etc.. All good things, but when we allow them to overtake our focus, our spouse receives the leftovers and the vineyards of our marriage and our hearts are in danger. Our marriages must be a priority for us! This means scheduling date nights, time away, and constant courtship. We must not slip into taking our spouse for granted and assuming we will “catch up” one day when the kids are gone and life is less stressful. That kind of thinking is just plain dangerous! The same is true for our relationship with God. We must prioritize spending time alone with just Him as our number one priority! How easy is it to miss one quiet time and then another, or one Sunday at church, and then struggle to find our way back to a place of depth with God? Sure, life happens, kids get sick, friends need help, groceries need to be purchased, but God is the necessary foundation for keeping our lives on solid footing. God loved us so much He sent Jesus to save us, He will absolutely help you find the time to spend with Him if you ask! Be aware of those foxes, then make a plan to trap them!

3) Why does it matter if the vineyards are in bloom or not? Wouldn’t foxes always be a concern?
Young love is fragile. It’s new, unsure, and hasn’t yet developed strong roots that only grow over time. New marriages haven’t yet endured hard seasons of suffering or learned that true love endures through intense struggle. New couples haven’t yet half-walked, half-dragged one another through those seasons when all we want to do is take a nap! Young lovers can’t imagine anything or anyone becoming an obstacle to their love. Of course, long-term marriages can face abrupt endings and even young love has the potential to grow cold, however, new marriages are indeed particularly fragile. Like new fruit in the vineyard, they deserve special, guarded attention. The same is true for our relationship with God. New Christians are on fire for Jesus, and rightly so. Just like with young love, a new relationship with God is fresh and exciting. You feel more alive than ever and are eager to boldly save the world for Jesus! Life and circumstances, however, don’t always cooperate with our passionate dreams. Trials come, temptations wrap around us, sin entangles us, and we have yet to learn the benefit of daily meeting with the Lord, feasting on His word, and surrendering ourselves to His hand more every single day. Steadfast endurance in our relationship with the Lord God is built one day at a time over the long haul. Watch for the distractions leading you away from what can feel like a tedious, daily investment in your walk with Christ. Flee the temptation to chase the foxes, instead, choose each day to live in hope of all Christ has for us! Revelation 21:5 says, “I am making ALL things new.” If we allow Him to grow the vineyards of our hearts, and we are willing to invest time and energy into our relationships, He is faithful to mature our love into one that endures all things! (1 Corinthians 13:7)

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Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

Digging Deeper Community

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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

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Beloved Day 13 Catching Foxes

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 2:15
Galatians 5:22-26
Philippians 4:8-9
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Matthew 22:37-40

Beloved, Day 13

“I now pronounce you husband and wife . . . and now present to you, Mr. & Mrs. Brad Daniel.”
[Audience applause as we joyfully exit the church]

Oh, how sweet are the memories of that day! We believed the best in each other, couldn’t imagine what could possibly ever come between us, had no idea that someday we’d have to actually work to make time for each other. And we certainly couldn’t imagine we’d ever be so angry with, indifferent toward, or deeply wounded by one another. We were embarking on a journey full of mystery, knowing and becoming known, memories, and the true meaning of the vow, “til death do us part.”

Marriage is a gift.  How sweet that our Father has established a relationship so intimate, it provides a glimpse of the most intimate relationship of all, God’s relationship with His people, His Church.

I don’t remember the night I met Jesus as my savior as clearly as I’d like, but I do recall wanting to make sure I knew Jesus. I didn’t understand a lot of the Bible at the age of 10 or 11, but I knew Jesus loved me and had sacrificed Himself for my sins. As a child, I couldn’t grasp the gravity of my sin and the costliness of my salvation, I knew I wanted to follow Him with all I had . . . I just didn’t know what that meant.

Beginnings.
We love them.
We dream about them.

Everything seems fresh and fun as we begin to learn something new, whether it’s in marriage or our relationship with Jesus. We start off with stars in our eyes as we experience new love and speak of “forever” as if it’s clearly visible to us.

One of my favorite ways to serve with my husband is to meet couples for pre-marital counseling. It is an honor to walk with an engaged couple, helping prepare them for marriage.

In counseling sessions, we work through various areas in the relationship possessing the potential for conflict, and provide tools to navigate those areas well. We encourage intentional communication and potential resolution before little problems become big ones. We also affirm areas of strength and encourage the couple to keep communicating and working together.

Song of Solomon paints a picture of two lovers, completely enthralled with one another and willing to do whatever it takes to be together.  Song of Solomon 2:15 advises them to “catch the foxes” before they ruin the vineyards. Foxes are known for being cunning, sly, and destructive, an enemy to the vineyards, not only eating the grapes, but gnawing and digging, destroying an entire vine.

What a great analogy when applied to the marriage relationship! In the beginning, everything is new and fun and effortless. It is then we should begin to prepare for the possible “foxes” to creep in, small and seemingly innocent at first, taking just a few minutes of our time or attention, but if left unattended, potentially destroying the relationship.

Relationships require quality time and attention. My husband and I encourage engaged couples to find a recreational activity they both enjoy, and to use its intentional pursuit to provide relaxation and something different to look forward to doing together.

To sustain any relationship requires time. Our culture tends to value busyness, so our spouses . . . or Jesus . . .  can get the leftovers of our day if we are not intentional in planning and honoring our time together.  We all need time alone together to remember the specific reasons we love each other, and to nurture the unique friendship marriage brings.

Distractions come in all forms, including electronic devices, children, and careers, as well as our own pursuits or selfishness. Most of these are not inherently evil; we just have to hold them in proper perspective.

One of the most familiar distractions in our society is the cell phone. I know I am guilty of mindless media scrolling, as my husband is in the room with me, neglecting prime time together. Instead of pursuing genuine connection, I look at the lives of others, comparing myself, my life, and my marriage to those on the screen. This has the potential to evoke jealousy, insecurity, and irritability.

In addition, our scrolling habits tend to rob us of time we could be spending with Jesus, allowing His presence to guide our thoughts and actions. Paul instructs us in Philippians 4:8-9 to think about what is true, honorable, lovely, and worthy of praise.  When we begin comparing and focusing on what we lack, we abandon lovely thoughts toward our spouses, or the truth about ourselves.

Marriage was created by God and is GOOD. Good marriages serve others and each other, out of the overflow of being strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit.  As we spend time with Jesus, we are filled with His perspective, strengthened by His Word, and able to bear good fruit. (Galatians 5:22-26)

Empowered by God, we see the needs of our spouses, and set aside the time necessary to invest in and nurture the relationship. We are able to prevent cute little fox kits from destroying an entire vineyard. With vigilance and intentionality, prioritizing time with both God and our spouses, we can help the vineyards of our relationships to flourish!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Beloved Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Beloved!

Beloved Day 12 Seasons Of Love: Digging Deeper

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Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out Seasons Of Love!

The Questions

1) Why might the woman have paused before opening the door to her loved one (verse 3)?

2) Why did the man not continue to wait for her to open the door (verse 6)?

3) Verse 7 seems to indicate abuse of the woman. What might be the significance of this being included in the passage?

4) How does the woman express her disappointment of not finding her loved one? (verse 8)

Song of Solomon 5:3-8

3 I have taken off my clothing. How can I put it back on? I have washed my feet. How can I get them dirty? 4 My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him. 5 I rose to open for my love. My hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh on the handles of the bolt. 6 I opened to my love, but my love had turned and gone away. My heart sank because he had left. I sought him, but did not find him. I called him, but he did not answer.

7 The guards who go about the city found me. They beat and wounded me; they took my cloak from me—the guardians of the walls. 8 Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you, if you find my love, tell him that I am lovesick.

Original Intent

1) Why might the woman have paused before opening the door to her loved one (verse 3)?
Since this book is not a chronological account of the events between Solomon and his beloved, there are some difficult passages to unravel. This one is no exception. In verse 2 of the chapter, we read the bride’s words, “I was sleeping, but my heart was awake.” As in chapter 3 verse 1, we are left with questions about the sequence and the reality of the couple’s actions in this scene. Is the young woman dreaming, or is she at the drowsy verge of being awakened? Since many Bible commentators have come to different conclusions, it seems unnecessary to dwell too long in a discussion about this. More importantly is the big picture. In these verses we encounter a scenario of a real-life relationship which included human responses. The young woman knows her loved one is at the door, but she is either too tired or too lazy to get up, get dressed, and open the door for him. David Guzik says, “her problem was not that she didn’t go to the door; but that she did it so slowly and reluctantly, making excuses all along the way. [This reveals she was] thinking only about her comfort and not at all about Solomon’s desires or her relationship with him.” (enduringword.com)

2) Why did the man not continue to wait for her to open the door (verse 6)?
The woman’s lover reminded her that he was standing on the outside waiting. “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my perfect one. For my head is drenched with dew, my hair with droplets of the night.” (verse 2) Whether or not the terms in verse 4 are explicit references regarding sexual intimacy, the scene certainly portrays an active pursuit of one lover desiring to be with the other, but being met with rejection. I think the best interpretation is to read this within the framework Guzik describes as a “missed connection” between the bride and groom, and therefore we should apply it literally rather than symbolically. (enduringword.com) The groom has been waiting patiently outside the door of the bride’s room. As he was leaving, he likely placed myrrh on the door handle as was customary in ancient settings. We are not given the reasons why the woman paused, but the delay causes her beloved to leave. It does not appear he was angry with her, and the emphasis again seems to be on the passion of the bride once she realizes his loving gesture. The bride’s emotions are awakened and she has legitimate feelings of despair because her loved one can’t be found.

3) Verse 7 seems to indicate abuse of the woman. What might be the significance of this being included in the passage?
In chapter 3 we read how the watchmen were helpful to the woman as she frantically sought her beloved. But now verse 7 seems so out of place. What is happening? In then-current day, there were two sorts of watchmen in a city. One guarded from the inside of a city wall to ensure all those within were safe and secure. The others were placed on the walls themselves to watch and give notice of an enemy approaching. (Bible Study Tools, David Gill) The watchmen on the wall would be aware that the only women who would be on the streets at night were prostitutes. Not realizing who she is, they treat her with inappropriate disregard, even abusing her. Whether a dream or reality, we surely feel the stab to our hearts as we read what the bride endured as she runs out into the night. She so desires to find the one she loves that she risks her wellbeing to search for him. Nothing is mentioned about her response to what she experiences, but we share her anguish over not finding her groom. These verses are communicating unrelenting passion and desire between a bride and her groom at all costs.

4) How does the woman express her disappointment of not finding her loved one? (verse 8)
We have read in the previous chapters how the couple speaks to one another with words describing their longing for, and their satisfaction in, one another. Here in verse 8, the bride begins to plead with the women of the town to help her find her groom. It appears she has deep regret over her rejection of his advances, and she now wants to let him know how much she longs for him.  In Song of Solomon 2:4-6, the bride expresses her soul’s desire toward her new groom in those pleasant moments of marital intimacy and passion. She was overwhelmed by the presence of love and the joy of lovemaking. Here in chapter 5, the young woman aches over the distance she has created with her beloved. She has become physically and emotionally ill due to her yearning love for him. She asks the city’s women to “tell him that I am lovesick.” The Septuagint (the Greek translation of the Hebrew OT) uses the verb titrosko which means inflicted with a wound, injured, damaged. The Shulamite woman is emotionally and physically overwrought. (preceptaustin.org) Within the context, we can surmise she is craving more moments with the groom. She grieves the way she let him slip away due to her unwillingness to respond when he came to her.

Everyday Application

1) Why might the woman have paused before opening the door to her loved one (verse 3)?
We don’t know all the motives behind why the bride doesn’t go to the door. She expresses it would be somewhat of a hassle since she has already changed clothes, whether it is weariness or laziness, we are not sure. What we discover as we read further in the passage, though, is that she regrets her inaction to open the door to her beloved. While there will be times in marriage that one person lacks a desire to make much effort toward intimacy (due to fatigue or distress), we should not make it a habit to neglect our spouse’s need for sexual and physical closeness. This will likely require ongoing conversation and work in our relationships as we strive for a healthy marriage. As we think about this in spiritual terms, we can also pray for our hearts to be receptive to our Beloved Savior. Bible teacher Harry Ironside says this is a great picture of our own callousness toward Divine Love. “When [Christ] comes to the heart’s door we practically say, ‘No; it is inconvenient. I do not want to drop things right now.’” What an even greater tragedy to reject God’s perfect love. (John 3:16-19)

2) Why did the man not continue to wait for her to open the door (verse 6)?
The bottom line of this verse is how the groom was demonstrating his desire for his bride. He was patient. He did not force his way in, nor did he demand her to meet his expectations. Instead, he waited and then quietly slipped away, but not before leaving a symbol of his love. What beautiful restraint and gentleness was shown by this man. Although his loved one did not receive him in the way he expected, he chose kindness. Putting a fragrance on the bolt handles would have been akin to leaving flowers by the door. Sometimes in marriage we don’t feel the emotional attachment to our husband. When that happens, we can begin by praying for God to stir passion in us. Years ago, I heard a woman Bible teacher talk about how she prayed for her marriage. She said one of her prayers was that she would “always thrill to her husband’s touch.” That is a good start! Whether we are the initiator or the one waiting, our goal should be to demonstrate unrelenting love. Friend, maybe you feel that any sign of promising light is so far in the distance you are unable to see it. I pray you will not lose hope. God will be faithful as you pursue a passionate and lasting marriage.

3) Verse 7 seems to indicate abuse of the woman. What might be the significance of this being included in the passage?
The picture of the beloved bride of the king being assaulted by his own watchmen is appalling! Whether she is dreaming or is in fact walking around at night like a prostitute, she is a desperate woman in search of the one her heart longs to be near. She has felt the pangs of dismissing her lover’s kind and patient pursuit. It has been said that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I doubt that is always true as I have seen absence push people apart. But one of the ways we can create a healthy kind of distance that inspires desire is to rehearse the benefits of being married to our husband. When marriages are struggling, it is hard to find the good in the other person. Our human tendency is to rehearse our weariness with it all. As we do, we only add to our growing list of reasons not to make efforts. However, when alone with our thoughts, considering the good things of our marriage and the positive characteristics of our husbands helps stir our emotions toward desire. As the bride longed to find her beloved groom, God can restore our passions as we pray and work to bridge the gap we may or may not have caused.

4) How does the woman express her disappointment of not finding her loved one? (verse 8)
The Shulamite woman had gone from being “too tired” to being “lovesick.” She desperately went searching for the one her heart so deeply loved. She called those around her to join her in her search. Sister, enlist your own army of women to support you in your marriage. No, I’m not asking you to find friends to whom you can badmouth your husband. I am encouraging you to gather those around you who will remind you to “love your husbands … so God’s word will not be slandered.” (Titus 2:4) It is not an easy journey, this thing called marriage. But with God’s help, and with friends pointing us to Christ, we can pursue the kind of passionate relationship we read of in Song of Solomon!

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Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

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Beloved Day 11 Seasons Of Love

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 5:3-8
Song of Solomon 3:1-5
Exodus 17:1-7
Psalm 136

Beloved, Day 11

Song of Solomon opens like a sweet, fragrant flower in the warm sun of spring; frocked on all sides with deeply delicious delight.

Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your caresses are more delightful than wine.
(Song of Solomon 1:2)

Falling in love is as sweet and poetic as a lover falling into his beloved’s eyes under a moonlit sky. Lover and Beloved gaze with eyes of wonder; bodies coursing with the intensity of longing to touch, and to be touched.

Awkwardly, we may feel God is stodgy regarding romantic love, but delightedly, Song of Solomon’s declarations insist we realign our view of God. Far from looking away, or frowning upon, the ecstasy of male and female bodies enjoying each other, the Lord God delights and enjoys our bodies and sex within marriage. This sweetness satisfies Him because, as thrilling as this union is, it’s only a roughshod reflection of the delight He finds in relishing a relationship with us.

He tenderly summons, “Taste and see that I am good.” (Psalm 34:8)

To answer His call, we must first see our putrid sin as the ugly garment we’ve been wearing, only to find we cannot rend it from our bodies.
It is knit with our very flesh!

We turn pleading eyes to the cross of Christ, knowing we are utterly unworthy.
Knowing our flesh is rotting because of our sin.
Knowing we have no hope of freedom or forgiveness as long as this cloak of disgust is sewn into our existence.

Christ calls with the beckoning of a bridegroom,
“Come, Beloved, Come! (Revelation 22:17)
Let me wash you, My Bride, and make you white as snow
even though your sins are as scarlet.” (Psalm 51:7)

So we come, nay, we run, headlong to this crimson, blood stained cross. As we draw near, we discover, our flesh itself is falling off, yet, lo, we run on. We NEED this Savior. We are trapped in death without Him. Stretching out His righteous hand toward ours, at first touch, our death is gone. In a moment, we have been freed. The stench of death eradicated. The garment of sin forever destroyed, it’s fabric no longer woven into our flesh, for we have been reborn.

Fresh washed skin.
Fragranced hair.
Sun-kissed cheeks and eyes brimming with wonder and awe
of this radical love that both casts out sin and loves the sinner.
Raptured delight erupts!
We shout His praise!
We worship with enthusiasm!
We skip for the joy exploding within us at awakening to life.
We yearn for righteousness and to gaze intently onto His glorious face.
Gleefully, we cannot help but breathlessly proclaim His goodness to all.

Springtime is made for Lover and Beloved.

My wedding band hadn’t long graced my finger when I found myself on our bathroom floor, door locked, face flushed, tears tumbling. “I want to go home”, I whispered between sobs.

What had I done? Until death do us part?
I wanted to back up, re-think, undo.
Marriage wasn’t what I’d expected.
Where were the sweet nothings?
Electricity between us? Oh, there were plenty of sparks…just of a different kind.

As I write this, I’m two weeks shy of 19 years of marriage. Over the course of nearly two decades, I found myself in more seasons of lonely questioning than I could count.

I would become weary of loving him.
He wasn’t loving me as I wanted.
He didn’t listen as I expected.
Why was he so selfish? Why was I?
Would we make it?
Was I still His Beloved?

Winter’s cold winds blow, and burrowed beneath the snow, Love barely breathes.

Barely breathing.
Isn’t that how we feel with our walk with the Lord sometimes? While there may have been spiritual highs at some points, it feels so out of sync with real life.

Perhaps that’s why we have seasons with the Lord,
so we can learn He is present when feelings fade.

When our lips refuse to form words of worship.
When our hearts feel cold to the fire of the Lord.
When we whisper the hard questions, barely audible.
Is He really here? Does God love me now?

In my bed at night
I sought the one I love;
I sought him, but I did not find him.
Song of Solomon 3:1

I opened to my love,
but my love had turned and gone away.
My heart sank because he had left.
I sought him, but did not find him.
I called him, but he did not answer.
Song of Solomon 5:6

The nation of Israel was just weeks out from seeing the Lord rip open the Red Sea as they’d walked across on dry sand, forever free from Pharaoh’s slavery. They had shouted for victory on the other side of the sea, watching as former slave-owners drowned beneath the very waves they’d been rescued through.

Yet, they dared utter these words to their Rescuing God,
“Why did you ever bring us up from Egypt
to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?”
(Exodus 17:3)

In fiery desperation, they cried aloud,
“Is the Lord among us or not?”
(Exodus 17:7)

Spoiler alert… I didn’t stay in the bathroom, Israel didn’t die of thirst in the desert, and Solomon’s Bride found her Lover.

The key to moving forward in the dark chill of winter is refusing to loosen our grip on truth.

The Lord is always present.
Always loving.
Never forsaking.

While marriages tragically end, and ecstasy wanes like tide from the shore, regardless of the season, true love never fails. Never.

The Love of God will endure forever.
Because He IS love.
(1 John 4:8)

Whether you’re frolicking on the hills of newfound love, or trudging through winter’s icy blast, be warmed by the fires of truth from the God who never fails in any season!

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The GT Weekend ~ Beloved Week 2

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The GT Weekend!

At Gracefully Truthful, weekends aren’t for “checking out”.
Use this time to invite the Almighty’s fullness into you life in a deeper way!
Saturdays and Sundays are a chance to
reflect, rest, and re-center our lives onto Christ.
Don’t miss the opportunity to connect with other women in prayer,
rest your soul in reflective journaling,
and spend time worshiping the Creator who
longs for intimacy with each of us!

Worship Through Journaling

Worship Through Journaling

1) God delights to give good gifts to His children. We know “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.” (James 1:17) Marriage, as we saw in Monday’s Journey Study, is a delightful gift from the Lord. God’s plan for marriage was for a man and woman to delight in one another and to reflect His love to the world. Married woman, are you delighting in your husband, or are you focusing on where he is lacking? Are you trusting in God’s plan for your marriage and finding ways to show your husband that you enjoy him, or are you focusing on pleasing yourself? Write down one way you will show your husband you desire him AND one way you can grow in your desire for God. Unmarried sister, have you entrusted the Lord with your desires? Are you living each day to the glory of God, trusting that His timing is perfect? Write down any area in your life that you have believed God is holding back a good gift from you, and ask Him to reveal His heart toward you in that area.

2) In Wednesday’s Journey, we read about the beauty of intimacy between lovers. Merry listed four traits the intimate couple in Song of Solomon display for one another. They are transparent, honest, vulnerable, and purposeful. Transparency, honesty, vulnerability, and intentioned purpose can each help us grow in relationship with our spouse and with our God. These traits also require trust and courage to live out in real life because they open us up to the possibility of being hurt. To the married woman, where are you holding back in your marriage for fear of being hurt? Marriage relationships are complicated and messy when it comes to trust and vulnerability. Neither are easy. As wives, we can only be responsible for ourselves, not the actions and heart attitudes of our husbands. As far as it depends on you, list specific ways you can move deeper into vulnerability and intimacy with your spouse. Consider if there are sins on your side that may be hindering your relationship and pray through these and share with your spouse. Write down specific areas or actionable ways you can begin increasing vulnerability with your husband. Ask God to give you courage and to enable you to take steps to love your husband well. To all sisters, how are you pursuing intimacy with your Heavenly Father? Take time today to verbalize or write down ways you have been holding back from trusting the Lord; ask Him to help you seek intimacy with Him.

3) Before marriage, we can build up expectations for how married life will be, but because we live in a broken world, and we marry broken people, marriage often falls short of our grand expectations. Personally, I thought my husband would always know exactly what to say or do to make me feel better, but surprise! He can’t read my mind. Women, what are you asking from the men in your life (whether implicitly or directly) that only God can provide? Are you hoping for your husband (current or future) to make you secure with his words and actions, or to heal your broken places? Are you demanding he provide you with stability and peace in a tumultuous situation? Look to Jesus. Only Jesus can heal and provide us with true satisfaction. Confess where you have fallen short, and ask the Lord to help you find your satisfaction in Him. For wives, this frees your husband to be the man he is able to be, rather than burden him with unrealistic expectations.  For single women, this allows you to find satisfaction in your current season. If God provides a husband for you, you will be setting a course for a healthy relationship, loosed from the chains of unrealistic expectations.

Praying Scripture back to the One who wrote it in the first place is a great way to jump start our prayer-life! Pray this passage from Proverbs 31:10-12 back to the Lord and
let His Spirit speak to you through it!

Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil,
all the days of her life.

Prayer Journal
Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth. You alone can satisfy the deepest longings of my heart. You alone can heal my broken places and pursue me with perfect love. Oh that I would find my satisfaction in You! Forgive me for the idols of my heart, for my worship of lesser loves. Help me to identify and eliminate all distractions that would keep me from loving You rightly. Help me to honor my husband by following You as Lord and not asking him to do a job he was never intended to do. Show me where I have sinned against my husband, and help me to humbly seek restoration with him. I ask You to continue to bless my marriage with joy and satisfaction and desire. Thank You that Your design for marriage is good. Remind me that my marriage is a picture to a broken world of the love You have for Your church and of her desire to follow You. Finally, I pray for my sisters who are longing to be married. Help them to find their satisfaction in You. Help them to pursue a life-giving relationship with You, and to be content in every situation, trusting that Your timing and Your plans are best.

Worship Through Community

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Worship Through Prayer

Worship Through Music

Beloved Day 10 Satisfaction Of The Beloved

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Read His Words Before Ours!

1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Song of Solomon 2:8-17
1 Corinthians 2:1-16

Beloved, Day 10

Lights on.
Clothes off.
Covers gone.
Nothing hidden.
exposed and known tied together in a single moment.

Will there be acceptance?
Does shame live here?
Does love?

I’m not a movie junky, and I rarely watch TV, but even for me, there’s something achingly sweet in watching a romantic comedy. Whatever the couple’s circumstances that pull at my heart strings, the winding path to resolution finds me swooning and cheering for the blissful couple as their “happily ever after” comes into view and the credits roll.

It’s easy to cheer on a fictitious couple on the screen, it’s quite another to live out a happy ending in real life, where expectation, desire, and satisfaction rarely align.

As a teenager, I was drawn in by the love story of Song of Solomon. I would read every word, imagining how fantastic it would be to be the Beloved of a man who seemed entirely intent on loving me.

How beautiful you are, my Love! How pleasant! (Song of Solomon 1:15)
I am my Love’s, and his desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:10)
You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes. (Song of Solomon 4:9)

Surely, if I prayed intently enough, waiting for just the right one, the Lord would give me this Happily Ever After kind of man who would pen erotic poems about the delights of my body. I would feel loved, and full; content and never wanting for anything.

Your lips are like a scarlet cord,
and your mouth is lovely. (Song of Solomon 4:3)
How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
the handiwork of a master. (…)
Your belly is a mound of wheat
surrounded by lilies.
Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle. (Song of Solomon 7:1-3, emphasis mine)

Turns out, real life was rather, um, less than.
I do remember my new husband reading Song of Solomon one night after he prepared a hot bath, but as for bright lights and clothes off, I’m always looking for the blanket and maybe, m a y b e, a candle for a light. Otherwise, pitch black works great; it’s good for sleeping and any other activity.

It would seem I actually have a lot of shame I’d rather keep under wraps. Plenty of uncertainty whispers in the corners of my heart, asking if my Lover actually loves me for me. Then, apparently, I have quite a few expectations I didn’t realize I carried, which has led to heaps of disappointment and even anger. These are also things I’d rather keep cocooned in the dark.

For over half my life, I’ve known, and loved, my husband, and he has known and loved me.
We’ve both done the best we could, given the people we were, the maturity we had, and what we knew of love and relationships. We’re now 19 years in to this mysterious covenant love we share, but, can I tell you a secret?

I only started feeling truly satisfied when I began loving my Maker first and most.
There was a time in my marriage, where the pain of disappointment and the heavy ache of never enough grew impossible to bear. It was then, I dared something new.
I took the Lord as my Husband.

I very intentionally decided Christ would have my everything, and I would look to Him alone to find my fullest satisfaction. Being a Christian was one thing, but committing to knowing Jesus as my covenant Bridegroom was another, especially in the deep wake of disappointment in my flesh and blood marriage.

It began simply, with my open Bible, a journal page, a pen, and an awkward few sentences signaling the beginning of a commitment to meet with the Lord God every single day and pray for my husband.

Over time, the woes I had with my man faded
as Christ became most and best of what I wanted.
Instead of bemoaning all the ways my man wasn’t,
I was drawn in by all Jesus was.

As I invested in my relationship with God, His Spirit reshaped my heart to see my husband differently and love him better. Sisters, when it comes to loving my man, I have an inexpressibly long ways to go, but I also know the Lord has made me new in ways I’d never dreamed possible, and He’s made my husband new too.

Want to know another secret?
My husband’s transformation took a radical shift when He decided
Jesus needed to be His one and only love as well.

He was convicted by Jesus’ words in Revelation,
“I have this against you, you have forgotten your first love”. (Revelation 2:4)
As he sat on a mountain, he was stunned by the sheer magnitude of the All-Powerful God who simultaneously deeply knew and intimately loved him for him.

Only when we fix our full attention on the One who crafted our bodies and our hearts, can we truly love another. Only here, in the complete surrender of ourselves to the One who pursues us most passionately, can we discover that we can indeed be fully satisfied.

Here with God, who sees all and knows all, and died to forever slay our shame, can we dance gleefully with all the lights on, because we are fully known and fully loved.
Here, and only here, is where real satisfaction lives.

Oh! Taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! (Psalm 34:8)

Come away, Beloved, the Lord is for you. (Psalm 118:5-6)
While every other Love in our lives will absolutely disappoint, only Jesus will fill us with overflowing delight. Be intent on knowing Him first and most, and let His knowing of you flood you with satisfaction.

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Beloved Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!
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Blessed Day 9 Intimacy: Digging Deeper

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Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out Intimacy!

The Questions

1) Who are the lovers featured in Song of Solomon 7:1-13?

2) Why does the Bible include these passages about sex and intimacy?

3) What does it mean that the woman has treasured up every delicacy, old and new, for her love? (verse 13)

Song of Solomon 7:1-13

How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
the handiwork of a master.
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
4 Your neck is like a tower of ivory,
your eyes like pools in Heshbon
by Bath-rabbim’s gate.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus.
5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel,
the hair of your head like purple cloth—
a king could be held captive in your tresses.
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasant,
my love, with such delights!
7 Your stature is like a palm tree;
your breasts are clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree
and take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes,
and the fragrance of your breath like apricots.
9 Your mouth is like fine wine—

Woman
flowing smoothly for my love,
gliding past my lips and teeth!
10 I am my love’s,
and his desire is for me.

11 Come, my love,
let’s go to the field;
let’s spend the night among the henna blossoms.
12 Let’s go early to the vineyards;
let’s see if the vine has budded,
if the blossom has opened,
if the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my caresses.
13 The mandrakes give off a fragrance,
and at our doors is every delicacy,
both new and old.
I have treasured them up for you, my love.

Original Intent

1) Who are the lovers featured in Song of Solomon 7:1-13?
The biblical book Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs, as it is sometimes called, was written by Solomon sometime between 971 and 931 BC. Most scholars believe the lovers are Solomon and his wife, though which wife is not as clear. Author Tom Gledhill asserts in his book The Message of the Song of Songs that instead of being Solomon and his lover, “The couple are representative types of Everyman and Everywoman” (94) Whether we view Song of Solomon as a true love story between two specific people or simply as an example of a good marriage, there is much to be learned about love (both human and Divine) and intimate sex in the chapters given to us. Author Sharon Jaynes writes, “God made sure the explicit picture of romance and sexual intimacy is in the Bible for a reason (. . .) It’s as if He’s saying, this is how it’s done.” God gives us a road map for intimacy in marriage in Song of Solomon, but many theologians agree He is also giving us a picture of Jesus’ love for His Bride, the Church. Author Natalia Kohn suggests, “Solomon, the bridegroom, is meant to symbolize the powerful love of our eternal bridegroom, Jesus Christ. The Shulamite woman, our protagonist, models passion and love for her lover, a fascination with who He is, and a hunger for more of His love.” God wants us to love Him deeply and passionately, the way He loves us. (Ephesians 3:18) In giving us a guide for how to love our spouses well, God is also showing us how to love Him with fervent hearts and deepest devotion.

2) Why does the Bible include these passages about sex and intimacy?
If you read the Bible cover to cover, you won’t find another book like Song of Solomon full of romance, eroticism, poetry, and spiritual significance. While other Bible books mention love, sex, and romance, none enter into as much depth of description and creativity found in the Song of Solomon. Why would God include this evocative book about love and sex in His Scripture? God’s primary intention for including this evocative book on love and sex was likely to teach us how to view His amazing gift of sexual intimacy for married couples. Pastor Chuck Swindoll notes, “The fullness of the union that takes place at marriage is described in some of the most splendid poetic language in the entire Bible. In a world where so many speak of God’s special gifts with coldly clinical or apathetic statistical language, the passion of Solomon’s poetry refreshes a world thirsty for the truth about marriage.”  Many believe that beyond the literal description of human love and intimacy, Song of Solomon provides a sense of how deeply Christ loves His bride, the church. Author David Guzik writes, “We find that this great song of songs illustrates the love, the intensity, and the beauty of relationship that should exist between God and the believer.” The bride responds to her Lover in Song of Solomon 7:10 by proclaiming, “I am my Love’s, and his desire is for me.” This phrase alone exemplifies how God loves us and created us for a holy union with Him, and how He longs for us to recognize and accept His great love. The Song of Solomon is God’s two-fold gift to His people, for it teaches us how to nurture sexual intimacy and how to relate to a God who loves us extravagantly.

3) What does it mean that the woman has treasured up every delicacy, old and new, for her love? (verse 13)
In Song of Solomon 7:13, the woman invites her lover to come away with her to the vineyards, telling him “The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love.” According to commentator David Guzik, “This difficult to translate phrase may have the sense that she is inviting him to enjoy intimacy in ways that are both familiar and new to the couple. The idea would be they would enjoy their lovemaking in creative ways that were planned in advance by the maiden.” Indeed, the mention of mandrakes would indicate a literal meaning of sexual intimacy, for, as commentator David M. Carr points out, “The mandrake or ‘love apple’ is a pungently fragrant plant long considered an aphrodisiac.” There are also arguments that the “old and new delicacies” of Song of Solomon 7:13 hold a spiritual significance. Author Tim Keller suggests, “Sex is for fully committed marriage relationships because it is to be a foretaste of the joy that comes from being in complete union with God. The most rapturous love between a man and woman is only a hint of God’s love for us.”  The Bible provides this surprising guide to sex and marriage in the Song of Solomon to help us build intimacy in marriage, but it also instructs us that God gave the gift of sex within marriage to remind us of God’s intense love and deep longing for a covenant relationship with His people.

Everyday Application

1) Who are the lovers featured in Song of Solomon 7:1-13?
In Song of Solomon 7:1-9, Solomon is describing the beauty of his wife. He starts at her feet and moves all the way up to the crown of her head, appreciating every last detail he beholds. Some of the metaphors describing her beauty are easily understood, while others are lost on a modern reader. However, the love, romance, sensuality, and passion in the text are evident to readers of all eras. The couple knows one another so intimately that she takes up the steamy description in Song of Solomon 7:9, finishing his sentence for him. She knows she has his heart, and her words of love and desire are equally as symbolic and erotic as his are. King Solomon seems to be utterly in love with his bride, and she with him. It is confounding to me, then, that Solomon could love so deeply and so well and yet have a harem of wives and concubines, as seen in Song of Solomon 6:8 and I Kings 11:3. Why would God choose King Solomon, this woefully imperfect man, to pen this beautiful book about intimacy in marriage? Author David Guzik suggests, “Perhaps the Song of Solomon does not reflect Solomon’s actual experience – certainly not in an enduring sense – but his wise analysis and skillful presentation of the glory of romantic and sensual love.” It is difficult for me to accept admonitions from someone who made as many mistakes as Solomon did, but I must remember that 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says “all Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” God inspired the words of King Solomon, so I know I can trust its message is perfect and true, even though the human author was far from perfect.

2) Why does the Bible include these passages about sex and intimacy?
The Bible contains instruction on how to be a better parent, how to manage finances, and how to treat other people, but looking to the Bible for instruction on sex and intimacy seems…uncomfortable. In fact, when a pastor says to open our Bibles to the Song of Solomon, people tend to squirm. Nobody wants to hear the preacher read, “Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle” (Song of Solomon 7:3)! If, however, we move past our discomfort of discussing sex in the Bible, we discover much about marital intimacy from God’s perspective. When describing the lovers in Song of Solomon, author Duane Garrett suggests “They relish their pleasure in each other not only with physical action, but with carefully composed words. Love is, above all, a matter of the mind and heart and should be declared.” Song of Solomon teaches us that thoughtful communication is part of a successful intimate relationship. We also learn from this book that God created sex to be a joyous celebration of love. Author C.J. Mahaney suggests, “Solomon’s Song teaches us that lovemaking is intended by God to be an elaborate and pleasurable feast of the senses — a holy immersion in erotic joy.”  C.J. Mahaney also concludes that the lovers do not have sex just to fulfill physical desire. “They want to be together because they are in love, and the sex they enjoy with one another is an expression of that love.” God has given us the Song of Solomon to show us how to have a fulfilling marriage, but it can also point us to having a fulfilling relationship with Jesus. As author Iain Duguid notes, “A depiction of the best of all loves and the most wonderful of marriages will inevitably turn our hearts toward Christ, who has truly loved us and is the answer for our deep brokenness.” No human relationship, regardless of how intimate or rewarding, can bring healing and restoration to our hearts like knowing Christ can. (Psalm 147:3)  Those of us who have trusted Jesus as our personal Savior make up His church, which He calls His Bride. (2 Corinthians 11:2) He loves us with the devotion of the husband in the Song of Solomon, and he wants us to be His faithful and loving bride.

3) What does it mean that the woman has treasured up every delicacy, old and new, for her love? (verse 13)
A recent societal buzzword has been purposeful or intentional. It is interesting to note how the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon does exactly this. She invites her husband to steal away with her, “Come, my love, let’s go to the field; let’s spend the night among the henna blossoms.   Let’s go early to the vineyards; let’s see if the vine has budded, if the blossom has opened, if the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my caresses. The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love.” (Song of Solomon 7:11-13) She plans and initiates an intimate time with her husband on purpose. She chooses a romantic place and assures him she has treasured up delicacies, both old and new, for them to share. He has been pursuing her, saying, “Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel, the hair of your head like purple cloth—a king could be held captive in your tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasant, my love, with such delights!” (Song of Solomon 7:5-6) The couple intentionally nurtures their unity and passion. Author Sharon Jaynes argues, “The Shulamite was a wise woman who took deliberate action to make her marriage sing with intimacy that was purposeful and playful. I envision her sauntering up to her husband as he’s overseeing the fields. She whispers in his ear, and her warm breath teases his neck. Tempting him. Flirting with him still. . . And God whispers to us through her words, this is one of the secrets to lifelong love. Pull away. Be intentional. Leave nothing to chance.” Many marriages start off with both partners making time for each other, but stressors and responsibilities dim the passion and purposefulness that once nourished intimacy. We would do well to heed the deliberate acts of the Shulamite woman. Their intimacy was worthy of their sacrifice in other areas. We all have responsibilities that need our attention, but none as important as our marriage relationship. Strong marriages can point others to the love of Christ! Let’s purpose to put our marriages ahead of other priorities.

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1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
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3) Write down your questions
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Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

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