Every redemption story points to the Grand Author who writes the very best stories of all!
I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t been through the wilderness and come out leaning on my Beloved. He rescued me. He set my feet on a Rock that is higher than I.
I have always been something of a perfectionist, so I approached my faith with the same effort. Yet, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get it right. I was missing God’s righteousness to cover me.
Avoiding hell fire. Unfortunately, this motivation initiated and dominated the first part of my walk with God. No one told me of God’s heart of love or His intent to rescue me from sin.
I was born a fighter. Even before I was born, just inside my young mother’s womb, the doctor was telling my mom to abort me because of how young she was.
I made time to party, drink, and smoke. My grades were excellent and I excelled at my sport, so my parents had no idea of my “weekend self”. I was committed to this double life.
I’m not sure when I first heard the word “bastard,” but before I knew what it meant, I knew it wasn’t good by the tone of disgust which accompanied its use.
I was “illegitimate”.
One night my friend invited me to church; a mutual friend was preaching during the midweek service. So, I went. From the first song, I felt like this was what church was supposed to be like.
I used to be deeply ashamed of my past, but I’ve learned God can use every part of my journey to shape and mold me into a woman more like Christ. God has used every dark valley for my good.
I was raised Catholic, but after my father passed away, I became involved in the New Age movement. I had great interests in the occult, reiki, sacred geometry, automatic writing…
“Will there ever be anything to satisfy me?” I’d tried everything, yet each road to fulfillment only led me deeper into sin and dissatisfaction. I had always lived my life with the mantra, “If Only…”!
There’s a really big difference between knowing theology of Christ and actually embracing it for yourself. Knowing the Lord intimately via a personal relationship is real life!
Going public, and letting everyone know I had decided to follow Jesus was a huge deal to me. I was the definition of having childlike faith. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about this amazing God!
Satan was isolating me with shame, I even considered walking away from my faith because I could not bear the thought of God being disappointed in me.
It was as if God pulled back the veil of fear-filled wallflower moments to reveal a scrapbook of Him and me together. He and I were pouring joy into the world together!