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Bridegroom

Beloved Day 11 Seasons Of Love

November 30, 2020 by Rebecca Adams 1 Comment

Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 5:3-8
Song of Solomon 3:1-5
Exodus 17:1-7
Psalm 136

Beloved, Day 11

Song of Solomon opens like a sweet, fragrant flower in the warm sun of spring; frocked on all sides with deeply delicious delight.

Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your caresses are more delightful than wine.
(Song of Solomon 1:2)

Falling in love is as sweet and poetic as a lover falling into his beloved’s eyes under a moonlit sky. Lover and Beloved gaze with eyes of wonder; bodies coursing with the intensity of longing to touch, and to be touched.

Awkwardly, we may feel God is stodgy regarding romantic love, but delightedly, Song of Solomon’s declarations insist we realign our view of God. Far from looking away, or frowning upon, the ecstasy of male and female bodies enjoying each other, the Lord God delights and enjoys our bodies and sex within marriage. This sweetness satisfies Him because, as thrilling as this union is, it’s only a roughshod reflection of the delight He finds in relishing a relationship with us.

He tenderly summons, “Taste and see that I am good.” (Psalm 34:8)

To answer His call, we must first see our putrid sin as the ugly garment we’ve been wearing, only to find we cannot rend it from our bodies.
It is knit with our very flesh!

We turn pleading eyes to the cross of Christ, knowing we are utterly unworthy.
Knowing our flesh is rotting because of our sin.
Knowing we have no hope of freedom or forgiveness as long as this cloak of disgust is sewn into our existence.

Christ calls with the beckoning of a bridegroom,
“Come, Beloved, Come! (Revelation 22:17)
Let me wash you, My Bride, and make you white as snow
even though your sins are as scarlet.”
(Psalm 51:7)

So we come, nay, we run, headlong to this crimson, blood stained cross. As we draw near, we discover, our flesh itself is falling off, yet, lo, we run on. We NEED this Savior. We are trapped in death without Him. Stretching out His righteous hand toward ours, at first touch, our death is gone. In a moment, we have been freed. The stench of death eradicated. The garment of sin forever destroyed, it’s fabric no longer woven into our flesh, for we have been reborn.

Fresh washed skin.
Fragranced hair.
Sun-kissed cheeks and eyes brimming with wonder and awe
of this radical love that both casts out sin and loves the sinner.
Raptured delight erupts!
We shout His praise!
We worship with enthusiasm!
We skip for the joy exploding within us at awakening to life.
We yearn for righteousness and to gaze intently onto His glorious face.
Gleefully, we cannot help but breathlessly proclaim His goodness to all.

Springtime is made for Lover and Beloved.

My wedding band hadn’t long graced my finger when I found myself on our bathroom floor, door locked, face flushed, tears tumbling. “I want to go home”, I whispered between sobs.

What had I done? Until death do us part?
I wanted to back up, re-think, undo.
Marriage wasn’t what I’d expected.
Where were the sweet nothings?
Electricity between us? Oh, there were plenty of sparks…just of a different kind.

As I write this, I’m two weeks shy of 19 years of marriage. Over the course of nearly two decades, I found myself in more seasons of lonely questioning than I could count.

I would become weary of loving him.
He wasn’t loving me as I wanted.
He didn’t listen as I expected.
Why was he so selfish? Why was I?
Would we make it?
Was I still His Beloved?

Winter’s cold winds blow, and burrowed beneath the snow, Love barely breathes.

Barely breathing.
Isn’t that how we feel with our walk with the Lord sometimes? While there may have been spiritual highs at some points, it feels so out of sync with real life.

Perhaps that’s why we have seasons with the Lord,
so we can learn He is present when feelings fade.

When our lips refuse to form words of worship.
When our hearts feel cold to the fire of the Lord.
When we whisper the hard questions, barely audible.
Is He really here? Does God love me now?

In my bed at night
I sought the one I love;
I sought him, but I did not find him.
Song of Solomon 3:1

I opened to my love,
but my love had turned and gone away.
My heart sank because he had left.
I sought him, but did not find him.
I called him, but he did not answer.
Song of Solomon 5:6

The nation of Israel was just weeks out from seeing the Lord rip open the Red Sea as they’d walked across on dry sand, forever free from Pharaoh’s slavery. They had shouted for victory on the other side of the sea, watching as former slave-owners drowned beneath the very waves they’d been rescued through.

Yet, they dared utter these words to their Rescuing God,
“Why did you ever bring us up from Egypt
to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?”

(Exodus 17:3)

In fiery desperation, they cried aloud,
“Is the Lord among us or not?”
(Exodus 17:7)

Spoiler alert… I didn’t stay in the bathroom, Israel didn’t die of thirst in the desert, and Solomon’s Bride found her Lover.

The key to moving forward in the dark chill of winter is refusing to loosen our grip on truth.

The Lord is always present.
Always loving.
Never forsaking.

While marriages tragically end, and ecstasy wanes like tide from the shore, regardless of the season, true love never fails. Never.

The Love of God will endure forever.
Because He IS love.
(1 John 4:8)

Whether you’re frolicking on the hills of newfound love, or trudging through winter’s icy blast, be warmed by the fires of truth from the God who never fails in any season!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Beloved Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
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Posted in: God, Longing, Love, Marriage, Praise, Rescue, Truth, Worship Tagged: beloved, Bridegroom, delight, Endure Forever, Lover, need, present, Realign, Savior, season, Song of Solomon, Spring, Unworthy, victory

Beloved Day 10 Satisfaction Of The Beloved

November 27, 2020 by Rebecca Adams 1 Comment

Read His Words Before Ours!

1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Song of Solomon 2:8-17
1 Corinthians 2:1-16

Beloved, Day 10

Lights on.
Clothes off.
Covers gone.
Nothing hidden.
exposed and known tied together in a single moment.

Will there be acceptance?
Does shame live here?
Does love?

I’m not a movie junky, and I rarely watch TV, but even for me, there’s something achingly sweet in watching a romantic comedy. Whatever the couple’s circumstances that pull at my heart strings, the winding path to resolution finds me swooning and cheering for the blissful couple as their “happily ever after” comes into view and the credits roll.

It’s easy to cheer on a fictitious couple on the screen, it’s quite another to live out a happy ending in real life, where expectation, desire, and satisfaction rarely align.

As a teenager, I was drawn in by the love story of Song of Solomon. I would read every word, imagining how fantastic it would be to be the Beloved of a man who seemed entirely intent on loving me.

How beautiful you are, my Love! How pleasant! (Song of Solomon 1:15)
I am my Love’s, and his desire is for me.
(Song of Solomon 7:10)
You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes. (Song of Solomon 4:9)

Surely, if I prayed intently enough, waiting for just the right one, the Lord would give me this Happily Ever After kind of man who would pen erotic poems about the delights of my body. I would feel loved, and full; content and never wanting for anything.

Your lips are like a scarlet cord,
and your mouth is lovely. (Song of Solomon 4:3)
How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
the handiwork of a master. (…)
Your belly is a mound of wheat
surrounded by lilies.
Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle. (Song of Solomon 7:1-3, emphasis mine)

Turns out, real life was rather, um, less than.
I do remember my new husband reading Song of Solomon one night after he prepared a hot bath, but as for bright lights and clothes off, I’m always looking for the blanket and maybe, m a y b e, a candle for a light. Otherwise, pitch black works great; it’s good for sleeping and any other activity.

It would seem I actually have a lot of shame I’d rather keep under wraps. Plenty of uncertainty whispers in the corners of my heart, asking if my Lover actually loves me for me. Then, apparently, I have quite a few expectations I didn’t realize I carried, which has led to heaps of disappointment and even anger. These are also things I’d rather keep cocooned in the dark.

For over half my life, I’ve known, and loved, my husband, and he has known and loved me.
We’ve both done the best we could, given the people we were, the maturity we had, and what we knew of love and relationships. We’re now 19 years in to this mysterious covenant love we share, but, can I tell you a secret?

I only started feeling truly satisfied when I began loving my Maker first and most.
There was a time in my marriage, where the pain of disappointment and the heavy ache of never enough grew impossible to bear. It was then, I dared something new.
I took the Lord as my Husband.

I very intentionally decided Christ would have my everything, and I would look to Him alone to find my fullest satisfaction. Being a Christian was one thing, but committing to knowing Jesus as my covenant Bridegroom was another, especially in the deep wake of disappointment in my flesh and blood marriage.

It began simply, with my open Bible, a journal page, a pen, and an awkward few sentences signaling the beginning of a commitment to meet with the Lord God every single day and pray for my husband.

Over time, the woes I had with my man faded
as Christ became most and best of what I wanted.
Instead of bemoaning all the ways my man wasn’t,
I was drawn in by all Jesus was.

As I invested in my relationship with God, His Spirit reshaped my heart to see my husband differently and love him better. Sisters, when it comes to loving my man, I have an inexpressibly long ways to go, but I also know the Lord has made me new in ways I’d never dreamed possible, and He’s made my husband new too.

Want to know another secret?
My husband’s transformation took a radical shift when He decided
Jesus needed to be His one and only love as well.

He was convicted by Jesus’ words in Revelation,
“I have this against you, you have forgotten your first love”. (Revelation 2:4)
As he sat on a mountain, he was stunned by the sheer magnitude of the All-Powerful God who simultaneously deeply knew and intimately loved him for him.

Only when we fix our full attention on the One who crafted our bodies and our hearts, can we truly love another. Only here, in the complete surrender of ourselves to the One who pursues us most passionately, can we discover that we can indeed be fully satisfied.

Here with God, who sees all and knows all, and died to forever slay our shame, can we dance gleefully with all the lights on, because we are fully known and fully loved.
Here, and only here, is where real satisfaction lives.

Oh! Taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
(Psalm 34:8)

Come away, Beloved, the Lord is for you. (Psalm 118:5-6)
While every other Love in our lives will absolutely disappoint, only Jesus will fill us with overflowing delight. Be intent on knowing Him first and most, and let His knowing of you flood you with satisfaction.

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Beloved Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!
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Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Beloved!

Posted in: Beloved, Christ, Jesus, Marriage, Relationship, Shame Tagged: Beautiful, Bridegroom, covenant, desire, Drawn, Expectations, Exposed, Fully Satisfied, Happily Ever After, Intimately Loved, Man, My Love, Song of Solomon, Woman

Blessed Day 9 Intimacy: Digging Deeper

November 26, 2020 by Rachel Jones Leave a Comment

Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out Intimacy!

The Questions

1) Who are the lovers featured in Song of Solomon 7:1-13?

2) Why does the Bible include these passages about sex and intimacy?

3) What does it mean that the woman has treasured up every delicacy, old and new, for her love? (verse 13)

Song of Solomon 7:1-13

How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!
The curves of your thighs are like jewelry,
the handiwork of a master.
3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.
4 Your neck is like a tower of ivory,
your eyes like pools in Heshbon
by Bath-rabbim’s gate.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus.
5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel,
the hair of your head like purple cloth—
a king could be held captive in your tresses.
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasant,
my love, with such delights!
7 Your stature is like a palm tree;
your breasts are clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree
and take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes,
and the fragrance of your breath like apricots.
9 Your mouth is like fine wine—

Woman
flowing smoothly for my love,
gliding past my lips and teeth!
10 I am my love’s,
and his desire is for me.

11 Come, my love,
let’s go to the field;
let’s spend the night among the henna blossoms.
12 Let’s go early to the vineyards;
let’s see if the vine has budded,
if the blossom has opened,
if the pomegranates are in bloom.
There I will give you my caresses.
13 The mandrakes give off a fragrance,
and at our doors is every delicacy,
both new and old.
I have treasured them up for you, my love.

Original Intent

1) Who are the lovers featured in Song of Solomon 7:1-13?
The biblical book Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs, as it is sometimes called, was written by Solomon sometime between 971 and 931 BC. Most scholars believe the lovers are Solomon and his wife, though which wife is not as clear. Author Tom Gledhill asserts in his book The Message of the Song of Songs that instead of being Solomon and his lover, “The couple are representative types of Everyman and Everywoman” (94) Whether we view Song of Solomon as a true love story between two specific people or simply as an example of a good marriage, there is much to be learned about love (both human and Divine) and intimate sex in the chapters given to us. Author Sharon Jaynes writes, “God made sure the explicit picture of romance and sexual intimacy is in the Bible for a reason (. . .) It’s as if He’s saying, this is how it’s done.” God gives us a road map for intimacy in marriage in Song of Solomon, but many theologians agree He is also giving us a picture of Jesus’ love for His Bride, the Church. Author Natalia Kohn suggests, “Solomon, the bridegroom, is meant to symbolize the powerful love of our eternal bridegroom, Jesus Christ. The Shulamite woman, our protagonist, models passion and love for her lover, a fascination with who He is, and a hunger for more of His love.” God wants us to love Him deeply and passionately, the way He loves us. (Ephesians 3:18) In giving us a guide for how to love our spouses well, God is also showing us how to love Him with fervent hearts and deepest devotion.

2) Why does the Bible include these passages about sex and intimacy?
If you read the Bible cover to cover, you won’t find another book like Song of Solomon full of romance, eroticism, poetry, and spiritual significance. While other Bible books mention love, sex, and romance, none enter into as much depth of description and creativity found in the Song of Solomon. Why would God include this evocative book about love and sex in His Scripture? God’s primary intention for including this evocative book on love and sex was likely to teach us how to view His amazing gift of sexual intimacy for married couples. Pastor Chuck Swindoll notes, “The fullness of the union that takes place at marriage is described in some of the most splendid poetic language in the entire Bible. In a world where so many speak of God’s special gifts with coldly clinical or apathetic statistical language, the passion of Solomon’s poetry refreshes a world thirsty for the truth about marriage.”  Many believe that beyond the literal description of human love and intimacy, Song of Solomon provides a sense of how deeply Christ loves His bride, the church. Author David Guzik writes, “We find that this great song of songs illustrates the love, the intensity, and the beauty of relationship that should exist between God and the believer.” The bride responds to her Lover in Song of Solomon 7:10 by proclaiming, “I am my Love’s, and his desire is for me.” This phrase alone exemplifies how God loves us and created us for a holy union with Him, and how He longs for us to recognize and accept His great love. The Song of Solomon is God’s two-fold gift to His people, for it teaches us how to nurture sexual intimacy and how to relate to a God who loves us extravagantly.

3) What does it mean that the woman has treasured up every delicacy, old and new, for her love? (verse 13)
In Song of Solomon 7:13, the woman invites her lover to come away with her to the vineyards, telling him “The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love.” According to commentator David Guzik, “This difficult to translate phrase may have the sense that she is inviting him to enjoy intimacy in ways that are both familiar and new to the couple. The idea would be they would enjoy their lovemaking in creative ways that were planned in advance by the maiden.” Indeed, the mention of mandrakes would indicate a literal meaning of sexual intimacy, for, as commentator David M. Carr points out, “The mandrake or ‘love apple’ is a pungently fragrant plant long considered an aphrodisiac.” There are also arguments that the “old and new delicacies” of Song of Solomon 7:13 hold a spiritual significance. Author Tim Keller suggests, “Sex is for fully committed marriage relationships because it is to be a foretaste of the joy that comes from being in complete union with God. The most rapturous love between a man and woman is only a hint of God’s love for us.”  The Bible provides this surprising guide to sex and marriage in the Song of Solomon to help us build intimacy in marriage, but it also instructs us that God gave the gift of sex within marriage to remind us of God’s intense love and deep longing for a covenant relationship with His people.

Everyday Application

1) Who are the lovers featured in Song of Solomon 7:1-13?
In Song of Solomon 7:1-9, Solomon is describing the beauty of his wife. He starts at her feet and moves all the way up to the crown of her head, appreciating every last detail he beholds. Some of the metaphors describing her beauty are easily understood, while others are lost on a modern reader. However, the love, romance, sensuality, and passion in the text are evident to readers of all eras. The couple knows one another so intimately that she takes up the steamy description in Song of Solomon 7:9, finishing his sentence for him. She knows she has his heart, and her words of love and desire are equally as symbolic and erotic as his are. King Solomon seems to be utterly in love with his bride, and she with him. It is confounding to me, then, that Solomon could love so deeply and so well and yet have a harem of wives and concubines, as seen in Song of Solomon 6:8 and I Kings 11:3. Why would God choose King Solomon, this woefully imperfect man, to pen this beautiful book about intimacy in marriage? Author David Guzik suggests, “Perhaps the Song of Solomon does not reflect Solomon’s actual experience – certainly not in an enduring sense – but his wise analysis and skillful presentation of the glory of romantic and sensual love.” It is difficult for me to accept admonitions from someone who made as many mistakes as Solomon did, but I must remember that 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says “all Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” God inspired the words of King Solomon, so I know I can trust its message is perfect and true, even though the human author was far from perfect.

2) Why does the Bible include these passages about sex and intimacy?
The Bible contains instruction on how to be a better parent, how to manage finances, and how to treat other people, but looking to the Bible for instruction on sex and intimacy seems…uncomfortable. In fact, when a pastor says to open our Bibles to the Song of Solomon, people tend to squirm. Nobody wants to hear the preacher read, “Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle” (Song of Solomon 7:3)! If, however, we move past our discomfort of discussing sex in the Bible, we discover much about marital intimacy from God’s perspective. When describing the lovers in Song of Solomon, author Duane Garrett suggests “They relish their pleasure in each other not only with physical action, but with carefully composed words. Love is, above all, a matter of the mind and heart and should be declared.” Song of Solomon teaches us that thoughtful communication is part of a successful intimate relationship. We also learn from this book that God created sex to be a joyous celebration of love. Author C.J. Mahaney suggests, “Solomon’s Song teaches us that lovemaking is intended by God to be an elaborate and pleasurable feast of the senses — a holy immersion in erotic joy.”  C.J. Mahaney also concludes that the lovers do not have sex just to fulfill physical desire. “They want to be together because they are in love, and the sex they enjoy with one another is an expression of that love.” God has given us the Song of Solomon to show us how to have a fulfilling marriage, but it can also point us to having a fulfilling relationship with Jesus. As author Iain Duguid notes, “A depiction of the best of all loves and the most wonderful of marriages will inevitably turn our hearts toward Christ, who has truly loved us and is the answer for our deep brokenness.” No human relationship, regardless of how intimate or rewarding, can bring healing and restoration to our hearts like knowing Christ can. (Psalm 147:3)  Those of us who have trusted Jesus as our personal Savior make up His church, which He calls His Bride. (2 Corinthians 11:2) He loves us with the devotion of the husband in the Song of Solomon, and he wants us to be His faithful and loving bride.

3) What does it mean that the woman has treasured up every delicacy, old and new, for her love? (verse 13)
A recent societal buzzword has been purposeful or intentional. It is interesting to note how the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon does exactly this. She invites her husband to steal away with her, “Come, my love, let’s go to the field; let’s spend the night among the henna blossoms.   Let’s go early to the vineyards; let’s see if the vine has budded, if the blossom has opened, if the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my caresses. The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love.” (Song of Solomon 7:11-13) She plans and initiates an intimate time with her husband on purpose. She chooses a romantic place and assures him she has treasured up delicacies, both old and new, for them to share. He has been pursuing her, saying, “Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel, the hair of your head like purple cloth—a king could be held captive in your tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasant, my love, with such delights!” (Song of Solomon 7:5-6) The couple intentionally nurtures their unity and passion. Author Sharon Jaynes argues, “The Shulamite was a wise woman who took deliberate action to make her marriage sing with intimacy that was purposeful and playful. I envision her sauntering up to her husband as he’s overseeing the fields. She whispers in his ear, and her warm breath teases his neck. Tempting him. Flirting with him still. . . And God whispers to us through her words, this is one of the secrets to lifelong love. Pull away. Be intentional. Leave nothing to chance.” Many marriages start off with both partners making time for each other, but stressors and responsibilities dim the passion and purposefulness that once nourished intimacy. We would do well to heed the deliberate acts of the Shulamite woman. Their intimacy was worthy of their sacrifice in other areas. We all have responsibilities that need our attention, but none as important as our marriage relationship. Strong marriages can point others to the love of Christ! Let’s purpose to put our marriages ahead of other priorities.

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Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

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Posted in: bride, church, Deep, Digging Deeper, God, Jesus, Love, Marriage, Perfect, Relationship, Scripture, Treasure, Trust Tagged: Bridegroom, desire, eternal, fullness, intimacy, love story, Lovers, Man, Song of Solomon, union, Woman

Beloved Day 5 Beloved’s Pursuit

November 20, 2020 by Merry Ohler Leave a Comment

Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 3:1-5
Proverbs 15:3-10
1 Timothy 6:6-14
Philippians 1:25-30
Ephesians 5:22-33

Beloved, day 5

Pursuit.

The mere word evokes images of a hunt, doesn’t it? It brings to mind words like… desiring, chasing, overtaking, capturing, conquering. 

There’s a reason such great emphasis is placed on “playing hard to get” in current culture. The human race has placed immense value on being the individual who is sought after, regardless of the situation or relationship dynamic. Whether we are interviewing for a new job, foraying into a new friendship, floating a corporate merger, or attempting to infuse “life” into our marriage, we have bought into the belief that the individual who is not easy to “win” holds a loftier, more powerful status.

But what if that narrative doesn’t exactly line up with what our Father shows us?

Song of Solomon is a beautiful portrayal of the joy, desire, and intimacy God has given the human race in the form of sex. We witness the intense desire, breathless longing, and yes, pursuit, of each party, laced across every page of the book. Physical pleasure aside, what do we see here?

I see a woman who longed for intimacy with her lover, but she didn’t merely pine away for him; she pursued him. She roamed city streets, looking for her love. She asked passing guards if they had seen him. When they told her they hadn’t, she kept looking. She didn’t give up until she’d found him. 

And when she found him, she did not let go.

The words are stirring, because we each long to be pursued like that, don’t we? We long to be so passionately pursued, so sought after, so desired, so wanted.

Before marriage, pursuit is mainly surface-deep. We show our beloved we are interested in all kinds of little ways. We learn more about the things they are interested in. We communicate many times, each day. Sometimes we choose clothing, or makeup, or jewelry, or hairstyles we know are appealing to them. We pursue their interests and desires, and in that pursuit, we assist them in pursuing us.

When we enter into marriage, the dynamic shifts. The “newness” begins to fade, and it’s easy for us to believe the pursuit actually ended with marriage.

Beloved, this isn’t so! Throughout the New Testament, marriage is repeatedly held up as the embodiment of Christ and His Church. Husbands and wives are exhorted to mirror Christ in the way we love one another. To submit to each other in love, not so one can lord their power over the other, rather, in this loving deference, Christ alone is glorified.

But what does this look like, five, ten, fifty years in? What does it look like beyond spontaneous romantic encounters and flowers for no reason?

Sometimes, it looks like waking up early to make him coffee.
Sometimes, it looks like showing up for his parents in their time of need.
Sometimes, it looks like slipping a hand in his when his voice wavers.
Sometimes, it looks like reminding him who he is when it seems he’s forgotten.
Sometimes, it looks like going to marriage counseling.
Sometimes, it looks like driving him to every treatment.
Sometimes, it looks like being silent when you want to scream.
Sometimes, it looks like recounting all the times the Lord has seen you both through, when it feels like all is lost.
Sometimes, it looks like following him down a dark road you never expected, taking him by the hand, and walking back into the light together.

Sometimes, it looks like staying when you want to leave.

Beloved, how many times has your Shepherd Bridegroom carried you back when you’ve wandered far? Has He found you, when you’ve tangled yourself in all the places you never belonged? Has His voice been gentle as He quieted your fears and brought you back to His fold?

He invites us to love our husbands this way, too. To pursue them, gently, completely, guilelessly.

Marriage is not an end to an exciting pursuit; it’s an open invitation into the lifelong adventure in the pursuit of our lover, and to being pursued in return!

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Posted in: Beloved, bride, Christ, God, Groom, Joy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Shepherd Tagged: Bridegroom, Chasing, desire, Desiring, Gently, Glorified, intimacy, longing, Lover, pursuit, Song of Solomon, Submission

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And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14