Hand-crafted

Song of Solomon 4:1-7
Song of Solomon 7:1-13
Proverbs 5:15-23
Ecclesiastes 9:7-10
John 14:8-11

Intimacy.

There’s no other way of saying it: sexual intimacy within marriage is a gift hand-crafted by our incredible Creator God for the people He made in His image.

Throughout the Bible, there are countless examples of God’s created beings enjoying and participating in the gift of physical union. Early in Genesis, the Lord affirms the goodness of sex for the purpose of procreation. (Genesis 1:28) Just a little later in Genesis, we see Isaac comforted in his grief by physical union with Rebekah, which affirms the great comfort of sex in times of grief and loss. (Genesis 24:61-67) In Proverbs, Scripture also asserts sex for the purpose of physical pleasure and enjoyment is good. (Proverbs 5:15-23)

The entire book of the Song of Solomon extols the heady pleasures of physical desire and fulfillment found in the physical act of sex. Vivid descriptions, expressions of love, and honest dialogue about the emotional and physical experiences which accompany physical intimacy were poured over, examined, tested, and ultimately included in the canon of Scripture for a specific purpose. God gave us sex, and sex within the context of marriage between a man and a woman is a good, good thing.

Song of Solomon is a depiction of the literal joys of physical intimacy, but there are some traits we see exemplified in the two young lovers which warrant further exploration in the context of our own marriages.

They are transparent.
The two young lovers are obviously desirous for each other, but they are also completely transparent with others about the one to whom their thoughts, emotions and desires are drawn. They aren’t hiding the way they feel about their beloved; they are practically shouting it from the rooftops. There is no mistaking how they feel, what they want, and to whom their heart belongs.

They are honest with each other.
There’s no question the two are each in pursuit of the other. There is no sub-text and no veiled references. Neither is playing “hard to get.” There’s no competition, no game, no “prove your love to me.” They are each completely, totally, all in.

They are vulnerable.
Nothing is too intimate to share. No expression too outlandish, no description too flowery. There’s no thought of looking foolish, or saying something silly. Each feels completely safe with the other, and as a result they are unashamed to share their thoughts, emotions and desires.

They are purposeful.
They are willing to do practically anything to steal away for an encounter with the one they love. They talk of slipping away to a vineyard, to a quiet room, to his chambers. They are not embarrassed to say exactly what they want, and their actions support their words.

For a moment, let’s set aside all our expectations of our spouse and take a look at where we are.

Beloved, when we examine how we operate in the context of our own marriage, can we say the same? Are we transparent with our spouses? Do we create space for them to be transparent in return, without fear of us shutting down or refusing to respond? Are we honest? And if we aren’t “all in,” is that an area we need to confess to our Father and allow Him to touch? Are we vulnerable in sharing the intimate spaces of our bodies, yes, but even more importantly, our hearts and minds? Are we purposeful in our marriage? Do we choose to pursue our spouse every day, even when we don’t feel like it?

Let’s take it a step further. Are those traits present in our relationship with our Father? Are we transparent about the condition of our hearts and lives with the One Who holds the power to change us? Are we honest with Him about our thoughts and feelings? Do we surrender them to Him? Do we allow ourselves to be open and soft to His conviction, to His healing? And do we pursue radical intimacy with the God Who is with us? Do we consistently prioritize placing ourselves before Him, in all our humanity?

These are hard questions, aren’t they? I can’t say yes to all of them. 

Maybe you can’t, either.

So what do we do from here? Where do we go from this place of knowing we aren’t where we’d like to be, and recognizing we can’t move forward on our own?

We start with confessing where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’d like to be to our Bridegroom King. We acknowledge our definition of intimacy falls woefully short of the intimacy He designed for us to experience with Him, and we ask Him to show us the way. He alone is the Author of intimacy; we can trust Him to lead us into the fullness of all He created!

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