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Lover

Beloved Day 11 Seasons Of Love

November 30, 2020 by Rebecca 1 Comment

Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 5:3-8
Song of Solomon 3:1-5
Exodus 17:1-7
Psalm 136

Beloved, Day 11

Song of Solomon opens like a sweet, fragrant flower in the warm sun of spring; frocked on all sides with deeply delicious delight.

Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your caresses are more delightful than wine.
(Song of Solomon 1:2)

Falling in love is as sweet and poetic as a lover falling into his beloved’s eyes under a moonlit sky. Lover and Beloved gaze with eyes of wonder; bodies coursing with the intensity of longing to touch, and to be touched.

Awkwardly, we may feel God is stodgy regarding romantic love, but delightedly, Song of Solomon’s declarations insist we realign our view of God. Far from looking away, or frowning upon, the ecstasy of male and female bodies enjoying each other, the Lord God delights and enjoys our bodies and sex within marriage. This sweetness satisfies Him because, as thrilling as this union is, it’s only a roughshod reflection of the delight He finds in relishing a relationship with us.

He tenderly summons, “Taste and see that I am good.” (Psalm 34:8)

To answer His call, we must first see our putrid sin as the ugly garment we’ve been wearing, only to find we cannot rend it from our bodies.
It is knit with our very flesh!

We turn pleading eyes to the cross of Christ, knowing we are utterly unworthy.
Knowing our flesh is rotting because of our sin.
Knowing we have no hope of freedom or forgiveness as long as this cloak of disgust is sewn into our existence.

Christ calls with the beckoning of a bridegroom,
“Come, Beloved, Come! (Revelation 22:17)
Let me wash you, My Bride, and make you white as snow
even though your sins are as scarlet.”
(Psalm 51:7)

So we come, nay, we run, headlong to this crimson, blood stained cross. As we draw near, we discover, our flesh itself is falling off, yet, lo, we run on. We NEED this Savior. We are trapped in death without Him. Stretching out His righteous hand toward ours, at first touch, our death is gone. In a moment, we have been freed. The stench of death eradicated. The garment of sin forever destroyed, it’s fabric no longer woven into our flesh, for we have been reborn.

Fresh washed skin.
Fragranced hair.
Sun-kissed cheeks and eyes brimming with wonder and awe
of this radical love that both casts out sin and loves the sinner.
Raptured delight erupts!
We shout His praise!
We worship with enthusiasm!
We skip for the joy exploding within us at awakening to life.
We yearn for righteousness and to gaze intently onto His glorious face.
Gleefully, we cannot help but breathlessly proclaim His goodness to all.

Springtime is made for Lover and Beloved.

My wedding band hadn’t long graced my finger when I found myself on our bathroom floor, door locked, face flushed, tears tumbling. “I want to go home”, I whispered between sobs.

What had I done? Until death do us part?
I wanted to back up, re-think, undo.
Marriage wasn’t what I’d expected.
Where were the sweet nothings?
Electricity between us? Oh, there were plenty of sparks…just of a different kind.

As I write this, I’m two weeks shy of 19 years of marriage. Over the course of nearly two decades, I found myself in more seasons of lonely questioning than I could count.

I would become weary of loving him.
He wasn’t loving me as I wanted.
He didn’t listen as I expected.
Why was he so selfish? Why was I?
Would we make it?
Was I still His Beloved?

Winter’s cold winds blow, and burrowed beneath the snow, Love barely breathes.

Barely breathing.
Isn’t that how we feel with our walk with the Lord sometimes? While there may have been spiritual highs at some points, it feels so out of sync with real life.

Perhaps that’s why we have seasons with the Lord,
so we can learn He is present when feelings fade.

When our lips refuse to form words of worship.
When our hearts feel cold to the fire of the Lord.
When we whisper the hard questions, barely audible.
Is He really here? Does God love me now?

In my bed at night
I sought the one I love;
I sought him, but I did not find him.
Song of Solomon 3:1

I opened to my love,
but my love had turned and gone away.
My heart sank because he had left.
I sought him, but did not find him.
I called him, but he did not answer.
Song of Solomon 5:6

The nation of Israel was just weeks out from seeing the Lord rip open the Red Sea as they’d walked across on dry sand, forever free from Pharaoh’s slavery. They had shouted for victory on the other side of the sea, watching as former slave-owners drowned beneath the very waves they’d been rescued through.

Yet, they dared utter these words to their Rescuing God,
“Why did you ever bring us up from Egypt
to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?”

(Exodus 17:3)

In fiery desperation, they cried aloud,
“Is the Lord among us or not?”
(Exodus 17:7)

Spoiler alert… I didn’t stay in the bathroom, Israel didn’t die of thirst in the desert, and Solomon’s Bride found her Lover.

The key to moving forward in the dark chill of winter is refusing to loosen our grip on truth.

The Lord is always present.
Always loving.
Never forsaking.

While marriages tragically end, and ecstasy wanes like tide from the shore, regardless of the season, true love never fails. Never.

The Love of God will endure forever.
Because He IS love.
(1 John 4:8)

Whether you’re frolicking on the hills of newfound love, or trudging through winter’s icy blast, be warmed by the fires of truth from the God who never fails in any season!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Beloved Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Beloved!

Posted in: God, Longing, Love, Marriage, Praise, Rescue, Truth, Worship Tagged: beloved, Bridegroom, delight, Endure Forever, Lover, need, present, Realign, Savior, season, Song of Solomon, Spring, Unworthy, victory

Beloved Day 7 A Lover’s Delight: Digging Deeper

November 24, 2020 by Melodye Reeves Leave a Comment

Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out A Lover’s Delight!

The Questions

1) What is the setting of this passage and why should we believe it is more than allegorical?

2) Why does Solomon refer to his bride as his sister? (verse 12)

3) What is the meaning of the garden in these verses?

Song of Solomon 4:12-16

My sister, my bride, you are a locked garden—a locked garden and a sealed spring. 13 Your branches are a paradise of pomegranates with choicest fruits; henna with nard,14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all the best spices. 15 You are a garden spring, a well of flowing water streaming from Lebanon.

16 Awaken, north wind; come, south wind. Blow on my garden, and spread the fragrance of its spices. Let my love come to his garden and eat its choicest fruits.

Original Intent

1) What is the setting of this passage and why should we believe it is more than allegorical?
An allegory is defined as a “a story, poem, or picture that uses symbolism to reveal a hidden meaning of a deeper moral or spiritual truth.” Although there are several Bible commentators (many from the Puritan era of history) who believe this book is allegory, it is best interpreted as a poetic, but powerful description of the deeply romantic and sensual love between a husband and his wife. The structure and setting of the book do not provide a chronological story, but instead give the reader “snapshots” of a couple’s pre-marital and marital relationship. (enduringword.com) It is true that God uses marriage as a gospel illustration of the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-32), but it seems apparent to most Bible scholars that the literal meaning should be the primary way the book is interpreted. The straightforward way in which Chapter 4 contains specific details of the sexual love demonstrated by a husband and a wife reveals the beauty of sexual intimacy in Christian marriage. It seems unnecessary to allegorize these passages that present a marital love consistent with Scripture’s other teachings about marriage and sex.

2) Why does Solomon refer to his bride as his sister? (verse 12)
Solomon uses the term “sister” three more times in his book in addition to verse 12. (4:9-10 and 5:1) No conservative Bible commentators believe this is a reference to him marrying his biological sister, and no scriptural evidence provides reason assume familial relations. “Sister” was a common expression in the Hebrew language of familiarity and closeness. As in many cultures, Egyptian love songs included lyrics which call one another ‘brother’ and ‘sister’. Years later, Solomon is using familiar language drawn from then-modern-day poetry. Theologian Charles Spurgeon writes, “‘My sister’ – that is, one by birth, partaker of the same (human) nature. ‘My spouse’ – that is, one in love, joined by sacred ties of affection that never can be snapped. ‘My sister’ by birth, ‘My spouse’ by choice. ‘My sister’ in communion, ‘My spouse’ in absolute union with myself.” By referring to his bride as his sister, Solomon was showing her double honor. He loved her with the physical desire of a spouse and with the natural love of a sibling. It is significant to understand the deep affection Solomon had for his bride, and how he demonstrated that to her.

3) What is the meaning of the garden in these verses?
Bible teachers and commentators who take the book literally, not allegorically, believe this “locked garden” represents a sort of separation and privacy regarding the bride herself. This likely refers to her being a virgin on her wedding night. (enduringword.com) As he has done previously, Solomon expresses his admiration for her. Specifically, he is enthralled with her beauty and purity that reminds him of the “choicest fruits and best spices”. (verses 13-14) As his bride, the fact that she had remained sexually pure was deeply attractive to him. Her sexuality was sacred, and as husband and wife, they both recognize this. The Bride both acknowledges her virginity and agrees it is right for him to find pleasure in knowing that. (verse 16) We see a beautiful picture of the bride’s trust in her new husband. She is freely and gladly unlocking herself to him, inviting him into this sacred act of sexual intimacy. As we dig deep into the meaning of these verses, it may appear they are infringing on moments that should be kept between a married couple. This may be the hesitancy among bible scholars to see them as literal. But an honest study of the book renders it difficult to interpret this as anything but a biblical and literal picture of godly love and passion that honors both spouses and God, the creator of sexual intimacy.

Everyday Application

1) What is the setting of this passage and why should we believe it is more than allegorical?
In considering how we apply these verses, I am enlisting Pastor David Guzik’s help. His sermon on chapter 4 is so well stated, I can’t improve on it, “When you think of the many crude terms that men use to refer to women’s body parts, isn’t there something so beautiful and powerful in this poetic, intimate, and dignified way of expressing love. It is a celebration of the strength and purity and goodness of marital love. There’s nothing insecure here … or dirty … or crass about it. There is simply nothing like this in ancient literature.” So, friends, we can celebrate this love story. As women who desire to live with a godly, biblical perspective regarding purity, we need not back away from the passion we read in the Song of Solomon. The poetry in these passages should be seen as sincere devotion and deep affection between man and wife. We can approach this book with the reverence it deserves, and with an understanding of the high value God places on intimate passion in marriage.

2) Why does Solomon refer to his bride as his sister? (verse 12)
There is an interesting parallel in Song of Solomon 8:1 where the bride says to her lover, “If only I could treat you like my brother, one who nursed at my mother’s breast, I would find you in public and kiss you, and no one would scorn me.” This sweet bride craves the freedom to publicly convey her love for her husband. In that day, outward expressions of affection were considered distasteful except for close kin. She wishes for the same opportunity to show her love to her husband as she would to her own brother. Today, there are jokes and memes about PDA (public displays of affection). Sadly, we have become shameless as a society as we have left behind honor for our bodies and brought every lewd display into the public eye. As wives, we would do our marriages a favor by praying for a desire toward our husbands that is appropriately expressed in public. One of the most beautiful displays I see that almost always brings me to tears, is a couple well into their later years, walking along arm in arm or holding hands tightly. Oh, sweet married friends, let’s show our spouses double honor with physical and natural love!

3) What is the meaning of the garden in these verses?
The literal reading of Song of Solomon may be difficult for some women. Maybe you feel it’s an intrusion on what should be a sacred trust between a married couple. Women who strive for holiness are encouraged by the church to be pure and modest in our dress and demeanor. Reading such an explicit passage could possibly leave someone feeling exposed or embarrassed. Sisters, I get it! I have often wondered why God would include in His inspired Word such an intimate exchange between a man and his bride for all to read. If not understood correctly, it may seem that God is advocating for women to be viewed as objects to be displayed like a trophy. Or maybe you are feeling shame because you did not enter marriage as a virgin, and you wonder if your husband can ever see you in the way described in this passage. I plead with you, dear married friend, to keep praying and digging into the difficult passages and find the joy. Pray to the good and gracious Father who desires to reveal to you the garden of God-ordained sexual fulfillment. Allow the Spirit of God to inspire and equip you to experience the holy intimacy He desires in your marriage.

What do YOU think?! Share Here!
Missing the connection to our other Journey Study?
Catch up with A Lover’s Delight!

Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

Digging Deeper Community

Share What You’ve Learned!
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Our Current Study Theme!

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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

Memorize It!

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Tap and hold on your mobile device to save.

Posted in: Affectionate, Beauty, bride, Deep, Digging Deeper, God, Holy Spirit, Marriage, Strength, Trust Tagged: delight, Double Honor, garden, Godly Love, Husband, intimacy, Lover, passion, Purity, Solomon, Song of Solomon, value, Wife

Beloved Day 6 A Lover’s Delight

November 23, 2020 by Shannelle Logan Leave a Comment

Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 4:12-16
Genesis 2:18-25
Proverbs 31:10-12

Beloved, Day 6

Have you ever walked in a garden under a pale moonlight? It’s counterintuitive, but at night, a garden truly glows. Everything is bathed in the moon’s gentle light. Visitors can breathe in the sweet fragrance of roses and lavenders, an intoxicating aroma.

During the day, the gardener tends to the plot, and the garden becomes hard-working and industrious. But at night, the garden invites the gardener to lay down the stresses of the day and rest in the pleasure of the fruits of his labor.

Our God is a giver. In Scripture, we encounter His gifts of both literal and metaphorical gardens. In the beginning, He created a world full of blessings. Then, God gave Adam and Eve dominion over creation and entrusted them to rule as He would. God also gave mankind the gifts of food and His Sabbath rest. Tucked away in the midst of all those blessings was another gift, a command to be fruitful and multiply while subduing the Earth.

In Genesis 2, we learn of the creation of the first man, Adam, and how God entrusted him with two gardens. The literal garden of Eden was given as part of Adam’s domain to cultivate, because it is where Heaven met Earth. The second and metaphorical garden, Eve, was given to Adam because God saw Adam needed a companion and helper in order to fulfill his purpose.

In the union of Adam and Eve, we find the design for pure delight and pleasure within marriage:

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. Both the man and his wife were naked, but felt no shame.”
(Genesis 2:24-25)
Wrapped up in the sacred space of marriage, both husband and wife were truly free and truly satisfied.

Song of Solomon builds upon the foundation laid in Genesis, giving us a detailed look at God’s plan for pleasure and delight within the boundaries of marriage. Chapter 4 recounts the culmination of the wedding ceremony; here, we find the groom describing his bride as an abundant garden.

Within the garden metaphor, our Creator begins to unlock the mystery of Godly marriage. A good gardener tends carefully to his garden, looking forward to a fruitful harvest. He protects it from pests and disease and rot. The gardener removes troublesome weeds, ensuring a nutrient-rich environment. Finally, his gentle hand encourages flowers and fruit-producing trees to grow. Such a prized and prioritized garden will not only produce an abundant harvest, but will be a great beauty to behold.

In the same way, a husband is to tenderly care for, encourage, and protect his wife, helping her to flourish. Proverbs 31 describes a wife who is industrious and productive under the care of a good gardener.

Within the partnership of Godly marriage, both husband and wife, gardener and garden, delight in the pleasures of a fruitful harvest. In the safety and innocence of lifelong commitment, spouses find every physical sense captivated and exhilarated:

“You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes;
With one jewel of your necklace.
How delightful your caresses are, my sister, my bride.
Your caresses are much better than wine,
And the fragrance of your perfume, than any balsam.
Your lips drip sweetness like the honeycomb, my bride.
Honey and milk are under your tongue.”
(Song of Solomon 4:9-11, emphasis mine)

As with a garden, cultivating joy and pleasure within marriage requires time and intention. After the battles of the day have been fought, and the responsibilities of the day are laid to rest after bedtime prayers, husband and wife must intentionally turn their hearts, minds, and bodies to one another. Just as a vigilant gardener tends to every corner of his garden, we must make space to nurture our emotional, relational, spiritual, and physical connections.

But this sweet image of man and wife delighting in the fragrance and abundance of their nighttime garden is incomplete. Spouses will never find full delight, full satisfaction, full completion, solely in their mates . . . because husband and wife are human, and imperfect, and sinful.

Only when we have first found fullness of delight in God (our perfect, holy, lacking-in-nothing and possessing-all-we-need God) can we turn our attention from the scarcity in our spouse to overflowing gratitude for all the ways God blesses us through him.

And so, sisters, in the gardens of our marriages, let us first pursue and delight in our Master Gardener. Then, let’s enjoy the blessing of love and take delight in our spouses all the days of our lives.

“Go, eat your bread with pleasure, and drink your wine with a cheerful heart, for God has already accepted your works. Let your clothes be white all the time, and never let oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life, which has been given to you under the sun, all your fleeting days. For that is your portion in life and in your struggle under the sun.”
(Ecclesiastes 9:7-9)

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Join the GT Community and share your thoughts!

Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Beloved Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Beloved!

Posted in: Beloved, Blessed, bride, Creation, gentle, Gift, God, Joy, Love, Marriage, Purpose Tagged: Companion, delight, Fruit, Fulfill, garden, giver, helper, Husband, Lover, sabbath, tender, Truly Free, Truly Satisfied, Wife

The GT Weekend! ~ Beloved Week 1

November 21, 2020 by Erin O'Neal Leave a Comment

The GT Weekend!

At Gracefully Truthful, weekends aren’t for “checking out”.
Use this time to invite the Almighty’s fullness into you life in a deeper way!
Saturdays and Sundays are a chance to
reflect, rest, and re-center our lives onto Christ.
Don’t miss the opportunity to connect with other women in prayer,
rest your soul in reflective journaling,
and spend time worshiping the Creator who
longs for intimacy with each of us!

Worship Through Journaling

Worship Through Journaling

1) Our Journey from Monday closes with the challenge, “Regardless of your marital status, draw close to the Lord and risk being unmasked before Him. The love, passion, and connection experienced there is well worth the being seen.” As a single woman, I often longed for a husband with whom I could share my deepest longings and my truest self. As a married woman, I have encountered the truth of a broken world that no human relationship is perfect. While my husband and I have a secure relationship, we still need to work to be vulnerable and open with one another. Marriage will not, and cannot, solve all our problems. Sit down this week and have an honest conversation with the Lord. Read 2 Corinthians 3 again and consider what it would look like for you to approach the presence of God with an “unveiled face.” Beloved, the Father knows your weaknesses. Do not be ashamed to approach Him and ask for His favor. He is delighted to be with you; delight in His presence. To take it a step further, consider sharing with your spouse or a close friend what you are learning from God, either in this area or another area of growth. As you connect with others, you are helping one another grow in intimacy with the Lord!

2) Sarah attests that our God-crafted differences give us cause to celebrate rather than be divisive in our closest relationships. Can you imagine how beautiful our marriages, and relationships with other believers would be, if we saw each role as uniquely crafted and desperately needed? The imagery God uses of a head and body give us a picture of oneness. The head cannot be separated from the body and still function, and the same is true for the body. How can you intentionally celebrate your spouse’s differences this week? Often, the longer we are married, those idiosyncrasies that annoy us most give us insight into how God created our spouse as wonderfully different than ourselves. Instead of jumping to frustration, and our own perspective this weekend, celebrate how God made your husband different! Whether you’re single or married, learning to assess your own uniqueness, while allowing another person to be different without detracting from you is a huge milestone in relational maturity! Take time this week to encourage the differences you see in the people who are closest to you, and praise God His creativity in crafting us as unique beings.

3) The woman in Song of Solomon adamantly pursues her lover until she finds him.  She does not waiver in her pursuit, and she is rewarded with love and acceptance when she finds him. The world tells us that to get love, we have to play “hard to get,” but this is a power play aimed at manipulation and gaining an upper hand. In God’s kingdom, we are called to lay down our power and be authentic with one another. We all long to be pursued, but are we willing to take the steps toward pursing another? Wives, where are you struggling in your marriage? What are some steps you can take to pursue your husband and rekindle intimacy? Where do you need God’s healing hand to cover your marriage and enable you and your husband to reconnect? Write a prayer asking God for His help, understanding that there is no topic that is off-limits to God. He knows your desires and He knows where you need help. Single sisters, are you pursing God as your highest good? Are you pursing deep friendships with other women in your circle? Are you practicing authentic intimacy with the people God has placed in your life? Write some ways that you can faithfully serve and pursue God in your singleness and commit to practicing those steps.

Praying Scripture back to the One who wrote it in the first place is a great way to jump start our prayer-life! Pray this passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 back to the Lord and
let His Spirit speak to you through it!

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Prayer Journal
“Let us enter His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout triumphantly to Him in song.” (Psalm 95:2). Lord, You are so good to us! You have made a way for Your children to enter into your presence, to have real and intimate relationship with You, and to have deep relationships with others. I confess I have hidden myself from You. Like Adam in the garden, I have attempted to hide my sin in my shame. As I hide from You, I hide from the people I love the most, shunning your gift of grace and pushing away those who love me. I have not pursued intimate relationships with the dedication and faithfulness You have freed me to experience. Thank You that I do not need to live in shame! Thank You for making a way for us to be reconciled to You and one another. Help me live with an unveiled face before You. Help me to pursue and build intimate and life-giving relationships with others. Empower my relationships to reflect the unity and oneness befitting children of the Most High God. You said the world around us would know Your people by their love for one another. (John 13:35) Help me to live my life honoring You and showing others Your great love.

Worship Through Community

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Send us an email at prayer@gracefullytruthful.com

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Comment Here or in our Facebook Community Group!

Worship Through Prayer

Worship Through Music

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Posted in: Deep, God, GT Weekend, Kingdom, Longing, Marriage, Relationship Tagged: Beautiful, delight, draw closer, father, grow, intimacy, love, Lover, oneness, presence, Pursues, Unveiled Face

Beloved Day 5 Beloved’s Pursuit

November 20, 2020 by Merry Ohler Leave a Comment

Read His Words Before Ours!

Song of Solomon 3:1-5
Proverbs 15:3-10
1 Timothy 6:6-14
Philippians 1:25-30
Ephesians 5:22-33

Beloved, day 5

Pursuit.

The mere word evokes images of a hunt, doesn’t it? It brings to mind words like… desiring, chasing, overtaking, capturing, conquering. 

There’s a reason such great emphasis is placed on “playing hard to get” in current culture. The human race has placed immense value on being the individual who is sought after, regardless of the situation or relationship dynamic. Whether we are interviewing for a new job, foraying into a new friendship, floating a corporate merger, or attempting to infuse “life” into our marriage, we have bought into the belief that the individual who is not easy to “win” holds a loftier, more powerful status.

But what if that narrative doesn’t exactly line up with what our Father shows us?

Song of Solomon is a beautiful portrayal of the joy, desire, and intimacy God has given the human race in the form of sex. We witness the intense desire, breathless longing, and yes, pursuit, of each party, laced across every page of the book. Physical pleasure aside, what do we see here?

I see a woman who longed for intimacy with her lover, but she didn’t merely pine away for him; she pursued him. She roamed city streets, looking for her love. She asked passing guards if they had seen him. When they told her they hadn’t, she kept looking. She didn’t give up until she’d found him. 

And when she found him, she did not let go.

The words are stirring, because we each long to be pursued like that, don’t we? We long to be so passionately pursued, so sought after, so desired, so wanted.

Before marriage, pursuit is mainly surface-deep. We show our beloved we are interested in all kinds of little ways. We learn more about the things they are interested in. We communicate many times, each day. Sometimes we choose clothing, or makeup, or jewelry, or hairstyles we know are appealing to them. We pursue their interests and desires, and in that pursuit, we assist them in pursuing us.

When we enter into marriage, the dynamic shifts. The “newness” begins to fade, and it’s easy for us to believe the pursuit actually ended with marriage.

Beloved, this isn’t so! Throughout the New Testament, marriage is repeatedly held up as the embodiment of Christ and His Church. Husbands and wives are exhorted to mirror Christ in the way we love one another. To submit to each other in love, not so one can lord their power over the other, rather, in this loving deference, Christ alone is glorified.

But what does this look like, five, ten, fifty years in? What does it look like beyond spontaneous romantic encounters and flowers for no reason?

Sometimes, it looks like waking up early to make him coffee.
Sometimes, it looks like showing up for his parents in their time of need.
Sometimes, it looks like slipping a hand in his when his voice wavers.
Sometimes, it looks like reminding him who he is when it seems he’s forgotten.
Sometimes, it looks like going to marriage counseling.
Sometimes, it looks like driving him to every treatment.
Sometimes, it looks like being silent when you want to scream.
Sometimes, it looks like recounting all the times the Lord has seen you both through, when it feels like all is lost.
Sometimes, it looks like following him down a dark road you never expected, taking him by the hand, and walking back into the light together.

Sometimes, it looks like staying when you want to leave.

Beloved, how many times has your Shepherd Bridegroom carried you back when you’ve wandered far? Has He found you, when you’ve tangled yourself in all the places you never belonged? Has His voice been gentle as He quieted your fears and brought you back to His fold?

He invites us to love our husbands this way, too. To pursue them, gently, completely, guilelessly.

Marriage is not an end to an exciting pursuit; it’s an open invitation into the lifelong adventure in the pursuit of our lover, and to being pursued in return!

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Posted in: Beloved, bride, Christ, God, Groom, Joy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Shepherd Tagged: Bridegroom, Chasing, desire, Desiring, Gently, Glorified, intimacy, longing, Lover, pursuit, Song of Solomon, Submission

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