Psalm

Psalm 119:17-32
Romans 7:14-25
1 Corinthians 13
John 10:27-30
Jude 1:24-25

Oh, how I long for God in my heart, how I desire to walk with Him side by side, each step in accordance with His will. Like the Psalmist, “I long and yearn for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh cry out for the living God.” (Psalm 84:2) His presence is marvelous, containing unspeakable joy and peace. Often, when I meet Him in prayer, an hour in His presence is like five minutes to me because His presence is overwhelming joy. Most times I end up in tears of boundless joy.

One day as I was taking a walk, the thought of God filled my heart; I felt His presence within me. I was reminded I am His creation and I am created in His image. (Genesis 1:26-27) I considered myself, imagining how the holy and mighty hands of God formed me. I was thrilled and overjoyed, longing for the time I would see Him face-to-face in heaven and be with Him forever. (Revelation 22:3-6)

Therefore, my uttermost desire is to please Him in everything I do. I create time to study His Word, that I may know His instruction and obey them, but God’s Word is beyond human intellect; mere human wisdom cannot discern it. As Jesus said, His words are spirit and life. (John 6:63) Every time I read His Word, I cry, ”Open my eyes so that I may contemplate wondrous things from your instruction.” (Psalm 119:18) For no one can understand God’s thoughts except His Spirit. (1 Corinthians 2:11)

However, as much as I long for the Lord and take time to study his word, my flesh is in conflict with me. I find myself failing to keep the Word as I desire in my heart. On many occasions I have taken steps to change a sinful habit, but before I realize it, I have returned to the same habit. Knowledge of the Word has made me think of myself better than others, but in truth and in practice, I am not any better. 

In my devotion on 25/03/2023 I read 1 Corinthians 13. I wrote in my journal about the state of my struggle to love in God’s own way but failing:
“As I put myself on the scale of God’s kind of love, I see myself naked, zero without anything good to boast of. It proves to me that thinking and posing that I am a better Christian than others is mere display of the knowledge of the Bible in theory, and that alone is not love… Having the knowledge of God’s Word alone cannot make me what the Word says, it is acting on it; and I am helpless, powerless on my own. No wonder in Romans 7:24 apostle Paul says, ‘What a wretched man I am!’”

Paul’s words in Romans 7:15-24 reflect my own life, 
when I do what I hate 
and fail to act on how I ought to love. 
I sometimes find it difficult to follow God’s Word, 
but easy to do what His Word forbids. 

Thank God, Paul goes on to exclaim in verse 24, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am serving the law of God, but my flesh, the law of sin.” 

In my journal, I continued, “All that makes me a Christian, a child of God, is God’s grace. I am righteous because God has declared me righteous through my faith in Jesus Christ. He has imputed the righteousness of Christ in me; I am justified before God because of the righteousness of Jesus Christ.”

Therefore, I will continue to praise the Lord my God for His loving-kindness; my struggle with sin does not stop Him from seeing me justified in Christ. He loves and blesses me. 

Similarly, on 25/02/2023, I journaled on God’s grace in perseverance. Drawing on assurances from John 10:27-30 and Jude 24-25, I began to praise Him, “To Him who is able to keep me from falling and to present me before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy- to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages now and forevermore!”

I will never relent in my prayers as I ask Him to give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (Ephesians 1:17), and that He may strengthen me with power in my inner being through His Spirit, that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. I pray I may be firmly established in His immeasurable love. (Ephesians 3:17-18)

I recall a similar prayer I wrote in my journal on 24/11/2021. “Lord, I give You my hand, hold it and lead me wherever You want to take me. I am willing to go with You to any length provided You won’t leave me alone. So long as You are with me, Lord I will go with You because when my physical life terminates here, I will finally be with You in Your glory. Oh, help me never to see any reason to neglect you at any moment, Amen!!”

I cling to His decrees, and I am confident He would not put me to shame. (Psalm 119:3)