tears

Questions 2 Day 13 More Than A Bargain

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Isaiah 55:1-13
Hebrews 11:1-40
John 15:1-17
Philippians 4:4-9

Questions 2, Day 13

I prayed for a husband for years.

I waited.

And waited.

I waited as my friends fell in love. I celebrated at their wedding receptions, rejoiced over baby announcements, and clicked ‘like’ as baby bump pictures chronicled pregnancies. The pictures then shifted to first steps, first days of school, and so many other milestones . . . while I continued to wait.

In the midst of the moments of rejoicing, heartache existed, too. Even as I prayed for my husband, I watched other marriages fall apart. Parents or children were lost through the finality of death. Other relationships persevered through challenging circumstances, and growth took place as time marched on.

As I waited, I continued to ask for my husband in the Lord’s timing. Sometimes, I succeeded in asking with a healthy mindset, motivation, and heart posture, while other times, I failed miserably. Regardless, the Lord remained faithful, and I learned how true surrender to the Lord’s plan improved both my prayer life and my everyday life.

The Lord invites questions, but I have discovered a fine line between asking and attempting to strike a deal. Here are a few key lessons I am grateful the Lord has taught me through the years.

1. It’s about the Giver rather than the gift.
During the season of waiting, the more I focused on my desire for my husband and bargained with the Lord, the more I lacked peace.

With the valuable gift of hindsight, I can see how the Lord acted, for my benefit, to lovingly deny my pleading requests. What I wanted most was a husband; what God wanted most was my heart’s full attention and surrender. When I sought Him, the Giver (rather than pleading for my gift), He graciously supplied peace with His quiet “not yet.”

My sadness and tears were consistently met with the Lord’s tenderness. (Psalm 56:8) He taught me to trust His heart over mine as He held me close. There in the ache of waiting, I fell more in love with the Lord as He shaped my heart and lifted my gaze to my true Gift, the Giver Himself!

Whatever you’re tempted to bargain for, God’s desire is for you to know HE is your full satisfaction and delight!
“I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.” (Ephesians 1:17)

2. Ask with wisdom.
Assessing our heart posture and motives are critical when we bring our requests to our Father, who loves to give generously. Though an often-painful process, it teaches us to seek wisdom as we pray. When asking for my future spouse, my self-assessments revealed I pleaded most intensely when loneliness seemed strongest.

I would love to say I consistently asked with a surrendered heart, but that would be untrue. Instead, I sometimes let my emotions rule my prayers, thinking I could evoke the response I wanted from the Lord. But prayer is not a business transaction, and these prayers lacked a willingness to submit to God’s wisdom.

When emotion and fear take the lead, they send us blindly stumbling off the path of God’s Wisdom.
Therefore, let us begin our prayers by first seeking wisdom.
“Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)

3. Receive with grace.
The Lord is faithful. I do not always understand His ways, but I do know He has a plan and purpose far better than mine. His answer may be no, it may be wait, and sometimes it is even yes. Whatever the response, receiving His answer with grace has consistently proven to be in my best interest.   

Waiting is not easy. Surrendering to wisdom is not easy. Yet both are necessary to receive the sweetness of His fullness.

Whatever you’re praying for, set your heart on loving Him more than the answer you’re after. He is the better.
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what is the wealth of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the mighty working of His strength.” (Ephesians 1:18-19)

Nearly a year into my marriage, I can already see how the Lord’s choice for me is far better than any storyline I had written in my mind over the years of waiting.

Attempting to strike a deal with the Lord accomplishes little more than robbing our peace and diffusing our joy. We can’t use religious language or even Scripture to outfox Him, manipulate Him, entrap Him, or buy Him off.

When we’re nakedly honest, we realize our prayers of
“If You would just . . . then I PROMISE I will . . .”
are wild, heartbroken efforts to offer anything to appease a God we feel is stingy.  We simply have no power to hold the Lord hostage.

When we willfully grasp the truths that He needs nothing from us and loves to give us good gifts, our bargaining position evaporates.

Let’s fix our gaze upon His tender, Father’s heart for His beloved child. Let’s bring Him our desperation, our loneliness, and our fear. Let’s admit, “If You don’t . . . I am afraid . . .” and allow Him to fill the void of our inability with His faithfulness, provision, power, and love.

I encourage you (and myself!) to continue to be satisfied with the Giver over the gift, to embrace His wisdom, and to trust His grace at work in our lives while we wait for Him.

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Follow Day 1 Trust Through Tears

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Job 1-2
Job 42
John 9:1-7
Romans 8:26-39
Romans 9:14-24

Follow, Day 1

Conventional wisdom says following God is easy when life is going well. We can trust Him when our circumstances seem to confirm God is good.

But what happens when life doesn’t go as we expect?
What happens to our faith in God when our circumstances seem to push back on our idea of the “goodness” of God?
Can we still trust Him?
Can we still follow God in the midst of suffering?

Job and his friends wrestled together with these questions (sometimes well, and sometimes poorly) throughout the Biblical book of Job. Job’s experience can be difficult for us to read; I find myself asking uncomfortable questions.

Why did God allow all of these terrible attacks against Job?
Why did Job lose everything after he had lived a blameless and upright life?
Didn’t Job deserve better treatment from God?

Job and his friends asked these same questions. Job maintained he was innocent of any wrongdoing, while his friends insisted he must have sinned to deserve the suffering to which he was subjected.

While I am often too afraid or embarrassed to ask these questions, Job was not. He asked and asked why he was suffering. He asked his friends to help him see his wrongdoing, but they could not.

Finally, Job was so discouraged by his circumstances that he began questioning God directly.
“I will say to God, ‘Do not declare me guilty! Let me know why you prosecute me. Is it good for you to oppress, to reject the work of your hands and favor the plans of the wicked?”
(Job 10:2-3)

Overwhelmed by his suffering despite his innocence, Job began to question God’s character. He was honest before God about his struggles, and sought to find answers. He never denied God, but he did question His plans.

When life beats us down, and we wonder where God is, it can be tempting to think we have done something wrong to deserve this hardship. We might consider suffering as a “sign” we have gotten off-track, just as Job’s friends believed his suffering to be a punishment for secret sin.

But this is not how God has revealed Himself. In fact, centuries later, Jesus and His disciples have a conversation about this very idea! The disciples see a man born blind and assume his condition is a direct result of someone’s sin. Jesus corrects their thinking, explaining, “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3) Jesus reveals the man’s blindness was not a punishment for sin, but a tool God was using to declare His glory.

This is where we can get uncomfortable again.
We ask those troubling questions.

Is God unjust?
Does He inflict pain just because He can?

Of course not! Paul addresses these questions in Romans 9.
“What should we say then? Is there injustice with God? Absolutely not! For He tells Moses, I will show mercy to whom I will show mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it does not depend on human will or effort but on God who shows mercy.” (Romans 9:14-16)

When Job questioned the purposes and wisdom of God, God Himself came down to speak to him. The Lord answered Job, but with more questions. He revealed to Job his own limitations and ignorance.

God asked Job, “Would you really challenge my justice? Would you declare me guilty to justify yourself?” (Job 40:8) He asked Job to explain the whole of the universe, from the stars of the sky, to weather patterns, to the behavior of the animals. God did this, not to be cruel or harsh, but to remind Job of the vastness of His knowledge and power.

We have a limited view of the world. We only see, know, and understand a sliver of His plans, but the Lord knows all. He purposes all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), and we can count on this truth.

So, when life is confusing, and doesn’t seem to be going our way, we have a choice. We can choose to question God and wonder if He cares about us. Or we can choose to follow the Lord, trusting His ways are good, even when we can’t see how.

As wise followers of the Lord, we can maintain our devotion to Him even when life seems unfair. God’s vast wisdom is far superior to our own plans.

In the end of the story, Job repented of his self-righteous questioning. Job did not suffer perfectly, but he continued in his faithful pursuit of God’s character, even in his brokenness and despair. Job knew how to follow, because he knew the character of God.

Finally, God not only forgave Job, but also restored to him his fortunes, wealth, and position in his community. While we are not guaranteed a “happy ending” in this life, if we faithfully serve the Lord, we can trust we will receive our reward of eternal life with the Father.

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Esther Day 9 Tears That Move God’s Heart: Digging Deeper

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Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out Tears That Move God’s Heart!

The Questions

1) What does Mordecai’s decision to not go past the King’s Gate tell us? (verses 1-2)

2) What is revealed by Esther’s response in verse 4 and how was her growth encouraged?

3) How does the “one law” in verse 11 give a mini-description of the gospel?

Esther 4:1-11

When Mordecai learned all that had occurred, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, went into the middle of the city, and cried loudly and bitterly. 2 He went only as far as the King’s Gate, since the law prohibited anyone wearing sackcloth from entering the King’s Gate. 3 There was great mourning among the Jewish people in every province where the king’s command and edict came. They fasted, wept, and lamented, and many lay in sackcloth and ashes.

4 Esther’s female servants and her eunuchs came and reported the news to her, and the queen was overcome with fear. She sent clothes for Mordecai to wear so that he would take off his sackcloth, but he did not accept them. 5 Esther summoned Hathach, one of the king’s eunuchs who attended her, and dispatched him to Mordecai to learn what he was doing and why. 6 So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the city square in front of the King’s Gate. 7 Mordecai told him everything that had happened as well as the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay the royal treasury for the slaughter of the Jews.

8 Mordecai also gave him a copy of the written decree issued in Susa ordering their destruction, so that Hathach might show it to Esther, explain it to her, and command her to approach the king, implore his favor, and plead with him personally for her people. 9 Hathach came and repeated Mordecai’s response to Esther.

10 Esther spoke to Hathach and commanded him to tell Mordecai, 11 “All the royal officials and the people of the royal provinces know that one law applies to every man or woman who approaches the king in the inner courtyard and who has not been summoned—the death penalty— unless the king extends the gold scepter, allowing that person to live. I have not been summoned to appear before the king for the last thirty days.”

Original Intent

1) What does Mordecai’s decision to not go past the King’s Gate tell us? (verses 1-2)
In a word? Honor. In another word? Respect. In yet another word? Faith. Mordecai had just been placed on death row. Outside of divine intervention, there was no hope for Mordecai’s life to be spared. Mordecai was not a weak, fearful man. He had stood firm in his decision to refuse to bow to anyone other than God. Neither was his position at the palace one of unimportance. Mordecai had prestige, a certain amount of power, faith, and strength of character. With the right amount of anger, which would most certainly be brought about by this scenario, Mordecai would have had enough courage and fortitude to storm the palace on a suicide mission to take out Haman or even the king. His life would soon be over anyways. But he didn’t. This small recorded detail telling us that Mordecai, “went only as far as the King’s Gate, since the law prohibited anyone wearing sackcloth from entering the King’s Gate”, speaks volumes of his character and the depth of his faith. He was distraught, overcome with grief, and quite likely justifiable anger, but he was not without wise courses of action, respectful decisions, and faith that God would indeed bring about redemption, even if he didn’t see what it would look like.

2) What is revealed by Esther’s response in verse 4 and how was her growth encouraged?
Mordecai hears of Haman’s plan, and in humility, prostrates himself before God with weeping, fasting, and prayer. Esther hears of Haman’s humbling actions, and her distress motivates her to cover his rent garments and silence his tears.  Maybe it was all the time she’d spent being “treated with beauty”, covering blemishes that were skin deep while hiding the identity of her Jewish heritage. Maybe she was embarrassed by her uncle’s intentional humiliation. Maybe she supposed he had gone mad. Whatever it was, Mordecai’s vulnerable display of human weakness cast upon the strength of the Almighty disconcerted Esther at her core. Her first response wasn’t to ask investigative questions, but rather to cover up her discomfort. She would rather close her eyes, and put the whole scene to rest. When Mordecai refused to shove the issue under the rug, only then did she ask. Notice again Mordecai’s honor and respect? He could have told Hathach with angry exasperation exactly why he was rejecting Esther’s offer of clothing, but he didn’t. He respected Esther enough to let her ask her own questions. When Esther did ask questions, Mordecai answered with complete facts, giving explicit details Haman’s plan of destruction. (Esther 4:7-8) He urged her to go to the King with all the details he’d shared, and that’s where she pushed back hard, giving a lengthy reply. (Esther 4:10-11) It was suicide to go to the king. Mordecai responded back with wisdom, poking holes in the way she viewed the situation, because she herself was already on death row! Mordecai never once pressured her by telling her what she must do. Rather, he respectfully presented the facts, conversed with her based on their relationship, gave her wise, godly options, then valued her by letting her make her own decision. He refused to manipulate her, and instead honored her, even though he clearly felt there was a right decision to be made.

3) How does the “one law” in verse 11 give a mini-description of the gospel?
We read the scene of Esther going before King Ahasuerus and, because we know the end of the story, it’s easy to gloss over the life-threatening situation. From the lowest slave to the highest ranking official in the king’s province, everyone knew it was suicide to enter the king’s inner court without being summoned. It was a literal death wish. No questions asked, no opportunity to speak your mind, just execution for daring to enter into the king’s presence. There was only one, very slight exception. The king himself could save your life, if He wanted. One brief extension of his scepter, and life would be spared, at least for that moment. Making the dire situation even more ominous, the king hadn’t summoned his queen in over 30 days. As was his trajectory with Vashti, his previous queen, he became bored, and annoyed, easily. If he was in a sour mood, there was nothing we have seen in his character to make him favorably disposed towards Queen Esther’s unbidden approach to his Highness. But God. God had already given Esther favor with everyone within her sphere of influence from the time she entered the king’s beauty pageant, and it continued resting on her throughout her time in the palace.

Everyday Application

1) What does Mordecai’s decision to not go past the King’s Gate tell us? (verses 1-2)
Having the ability to choose a wise response, while respecting and honoring boundaries when you are angry, hurt, sad, offended, and grieved doesn’t come naturally. Choosing a wise response in the midst of oppressive circumstances is a discipline that grows over time as we submit our will to God’s, trusting His heart over our own. Mordecai acted with a clear head and a clear conscience as he chose to honor and respect the very authority that was putting him to death. How many of us can say that?! Relationships get messy quickly, and whether it’s a working relationship between coworkers, a parent-child relationship, a friend-to-friend relationship, or one between husband and wife, there will undoubtedly be times we feel offended, hurt, and disrespected. How we respond is always our choice. One person’s poor decision does not give us a blank check to treat them with the justice we deem most fitting. (Romans 12:17) When we choose honor and respect (note this doesn’t mean agreeance), we are carrying the gospel to the other person. We are removing ourselves as the authority on justice, and leaving room for God to fight our battles. (Romans 12:18-21) Surely, none of us would blame Mordecai for acting rashly, or would we? Who knows what domino effect would be set in motion had he stormed the King’s Gate with indignant bitterness instead of respecting the governing boundary. I know I need to keep practicing this discipline in my relationships; it’s a good thing that opportunities are always abounding!

2) What is revealed by Esther’s response in verse 4 and how was her growth encouraged?
What is so precious to me about this exchange between orphan-turned-queen Esther and Uncle Mordecai, who was very much like a father to her is the beauty of true, biblical community. We are all on a faith journey. Some of us are pushing hard against religion of all kinds, let alone Christianity. Some are curious onlookers, wondering what it is that makes Christianity different from the rest. Others are thrilled with the new life of Christ, having just crossed the line of faith for themselves. Other journeys have long-walked with the Savior, but have experienced various highs and lows along the way. Wherever we are, biblical community can help us grow deeper and go farther than we would alone. The Christian life was never intended to be lived out alone; even Jesus surrounded Himself with a community of brothers He did everything with. Based solely on what we read in Esther’s story in this passage, I have little doubt that had Mordecai not been part of Esther’s community, the end of the story would have been vastly different. As much as we celebrate Esther’s heroism in this portion of Jewish history, we cannot celebrate her without also celebrating Mordecai and the role of biblical community in her life. We have these same opportunities to sharpen others around us, encouraging them by pointing them towards wisdom, speaking the truth in brave love, respecting them, walking alongside them, and giving them the space to make their own decisions. Who can you love well this week?

3) How does the “one law” in verse 11 give a mini-description of the gospel?
This throne room experience for Esther is the same for each of us, when we view it through the lens of our own relationship with God. God, in His righteous holiness is entirely set apart from all sin, like the king in his throne room. He cannot abide even the smallest hint of sin in His presence. To enter the presence of God with our sin-wrecked selves is impossible. In fact, it’s so impossible that we are condemned to Death simply by default because of our sin nature. Did you catch that? We are all on death row with a sentence of eternal separation from the Author of life and love. But, like Esther’s throne room scenario, we too have one, single ray of hope at life. What’s infinitely better in our case is that God, the King, has already guaranteed to extend His scepter towards us! When He chose to Die our death for us, He paid the penalty required by our sin, and with His resurrection, He flung open the door to the throne room of His presence. We are free to go in, to have access, to dance in freedom, to leave the chains of our sin behind, to sit and dwell with Him forever and enjoy His glorious presence! Also like Esther, just because the hope of life is extended towards us, doesn’t mean we are automatically in the throne room of God. Christ’s offer of redemption is on the table, the choice of accepting Him is ours to make. Do you have access? If so, are you living out the truth of that reality? If not, I applaud you for your honesty and ask, what holds you back from saying yes to Jesus offer of redemption and new life? Wherever you are on this journey of faith, there are people praying for you!

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Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

Digging Deeper Community

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Our Current Study Theme!

This is Esther Week Two!
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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

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Esther Day 8 Tears That Move God’s Heart

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Esther 4:1-11
Psalm 56
Psalm 66:8-15
James 1:2-3
Romans 5:1-5

Esther, Day 8

Bless our God, you peoples,
let the sound of His praise be heard! (Psalm 66:8)

Reason for rejoicing must be clear here, right?
Such jubilant praise!
Such rich, ardent voices lifted up in adoration!

But the Psalmist continues….
For you, God, tested us;
you refined us as silver is refined.
You lured us into a trap;
you placed burdens on our backs.
You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water….

Wait, what?
Those are crushing words.
Words, I could have written myself, and have, at various points along my own journey.
Burdened, trapped, pressed in upon, barely breathing, trampled over, scorched by flames, drowning in swirling waters.

Praise?
What kind of people would praise while drowning?
Or maybe better, what kind of deity would want to hear praise in dire trials?

Death had been decreed for Queen Esther and her people.
The date had been set for mass extinction of an entire people group.
There were no backdoors of escape, no democracy to provide checks and balances, only one option, prayer.

Prayer for Old Testament Jews meant a few things, especially in hopeless situations, but among the most prominent were gut-wrenching honesty, humility, petition, and praise.
The prayer book of the Jews was the book of Psalms, it also conveniently doubled as their hymnal. Yes, their prayers were their songs. The lyrics of their worship were the authentic pleadings and praises of their hearts.

Though prayer and the name of God are never explicitly noted in the book of Esther, where there was fasting, sackcloth, lamenting, and mournful weeping for Jews, there was prayer.
And where there was prayer, there was praise.

One only needs a cursory glance through Psalms to find this to be true. Go ahead, try it! Pick up your Bible, open to Psalms, and read a few random songs, skip pages, and read again.

Praise is everywhere, but so is brokenness.

Later in the New Testament, the great Pastor Paul says it like this:
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

As Mordecai wept, ripped his clothing, and dipped trembling, fearful fingers into the dust from which he’d been made and streaked his face with it, he prayed in faith to the God of the Universe.

He knew his weakness.
He recognized his complete and utter inability to change the decree of his own death or the massacre of his people.
Yet, he prayed.

He prayed because he also knew something else.
He knew God’s character could not, would not, be faithless. (2 Timothy 2:13)
He knew God does not abandon the work of His hands. (Psalm 138:8)
And for these reasons, Mordecai, a man on death row, could praise.

When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4)

No doubt, Mordecai was afraid. He agonized. He mourned. He wailed.
But he knew where to take his fear.

Mordecai did not know how God would answer, nor even if his own life would be spared, but He did trust that God would bring redemption.

Sisters, with tears in my eyes as I write, I too have felt Mordecai’s helpless fear.
My face has been planted into the floor, my clothing as rumpled as my spirit.
My cheeks have been stained with tears (and a whole lot of snot), my hands have trembled with the unknown and the glaring reality of my own endless weakness and inability to change my circumstances.

With upturned hands and downcast, flooded eyes, I’ve begged for mercy, for release, for redemption. I’ve admitted out loud in all gut-wrenching honesty that I did not know if God would bring redemption in my life or, if He did, that it would look as I wanted.

But through praise, lament, and petition, He uncurled my fists and I anchored again in the safe harbor of His sure and certain character.
He would not abandon the work of His hands.

Mordecai couldn’t see the end, but He trusted all the same.
To Esther, he spoke with unshakeable conviction, “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place…”

I don’t know your fears, your hurt, or your great need for God to redeem and act, but the Lord does know.

You yourself have recorded my wanderings.
Put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book? (Psalm 56:8)

Not a tear falls without the Lord seeing, knowing, holding it, and waiting to redeem it in His time and in His way, which is precisely why we can praise in the midst of floods and fires and ruin and heartache.

Like Mordecai, I do not know how the Lord will work His redemption over my brokenness, but I will shout in triumph in the face of this fear and trembling,
“My enemies will retreat on the day when I call.
This I know: God is for me.” (Psalm 56:8-9)

The rest of that psalm of praise we began this journey with?
The one about being refined as fire, burdened down, and walking through fire and flood?
Here is the worshipper’s refrain on the prayer of his song,
“but You brought us out to abundance.”
(Psalm 66:10-12)

Trust His heart, Lovely One.
Cry the tears.
Rend the garments.
Mourn with authenticity.
Then surrender to the One who holds your tears in a bottle, records your pain in His own journal, and is waiting to bring you into His redemptive abundance!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Esther Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Esther!