Worth

Worship IX Day 6 Acceptable Worship

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Romans 12:1-2
Isaiah 58:3-10
John 4:23-24
James 1:22-25

Worship IX, Day 6

In the days before COVID, there were 350,000 congregations in the United States  and  less than 24% of members attended worship service on a weekly basis.
I wonder, has our worship become ritualistic?
What does worship mean to us, and is it acceptable to God?

The word worship comes from an Old English word, “weorpscip,” which means “to give worth to.” In a biblical context, the Hebrew word for worship is shachah, which means to depress, to fall down, or to lay prostrate before a deity; these are the physical manifestations of holding God in reverence, honor, and esteem. A right understanding of how God is infinitely greater and forever worthy of our humble adoration is the place to begin true worship.

When God imparted the Ten Commandments to Moses, He rightly began by mandating He alone would be the focus of Israel’s worship. (Exodus 20:1-3) The Israelites began to worship, in part, through offering sacrifices; the sacrifices were looking ahead to when the Messiah would come as the ultimate sacrifice.

Today, we worship by honoring God and presenting our lives
as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him.
(Romans 12:1)

As early as the second generation of humankind, God emphasized the importance of acceptable worship. Cain and Abel brought offerings before the Lord, but Cain’s offering was rejected, while Abel’s was received. (Genesis 4:3-7) How we worship matters!

During the time of the prophet Isaiah, God made clear the worship the Israelites offered to Him was not acceptable. He knew they were in a spiritual stupor, with hearts blind and deaf to God’s leading. (Isaiah 29:9-16) With elaborate public demonstrations of worship, they appeared to be receiving the word of God, but the true content of what they received had no impact on them.

Their lives were unchanged, and their worship was meaningless. (Isaiah 58:3-10)

In Hosea 6:6, God explains,
“For I desire faithful love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Yet, even in Jesus’ day, the Pharisees (religious leaders) displayed the same affinity for empty rituals. In Matthew 23:23, Jesus states, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You pay a tenth of mint, dill, and cumin and yet you have neglected the more important matters of the law–justice, mercy, and faithfulness. These things should have been done without neglecting the others.”

Over time, rituals have been built into modern Christian faith; even in denominations without explicit rituals, many churches follow a format categorized as “ritualistic.” To be clear, the problem doesn’t usually lie in rituals or traditions themselves; the problem lies in our hearts, when we check a “religious duty” box, but our spirits remain far from God and our day-to-day lives reflect nothing of Him. Our fallen natures crave the explicit simplicity of performance over the messy, slow change inherent in responding to God’s transforming work in our spirits.

Yet worship in spirit, and in truth, is the acceptable worship God desires.
John 4:23-24 reveals, “But an hour is coming, and now is here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in truth. Yes, the Father wants such people to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in Spirit and truth.”

Are we focusing on the message and truth of Jesus Christ?
Are we engaging, with both our hearts and our heads, in preparation for worship?
Do we have strong affections for God, rooted in truth?

Consider Isaiah’s response to encountering the Living God in Isaiah 6:5:
“Then I said, ‘Woe is me for I am ruined because I am a man of unclean lips and live among a people of unclean lips, and because my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of Armies.’” 

Having seen God in holiness, Isaiah confessed his own sin and was cleansed.
Repentance is a necessary part of acceptable worship.

Peter had a similar reaction in Luke 5:8 when he encountered Christ, falling to his knees and crying, “Go away from me, because I am a sinful man, Lord!” Our sins are ugly when compared to God’s beauty and righteousness.
Acceptable worship includes confession and mourning of sin,
and bold declaration of our desperate need for God’s grace and mercy.

Sisters, let’s evaluate our hearts with honesty and vulnerability.
Like the Israelites of Isaiah’s time, of Hosea’s time, of Jesus’ time, have we become locked into the well-trod and self-deceiving way of empty talk and performance?
Are we hearing and responding to the word of God?

James 1:22 exhorts us, “But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

In what ways is God challenging us to offer acceptable worship to Him?

Is He calling us to confession and repentance?

Is He asking us to come away from distractions and turn our hearts to Him, so we can hear His voice?

Is He waiting for us to respond to His leading, partnering with His transforming Spirit to make change in the small, daily spaces of our lives?

For here, in the Spirit-empowered daily rejection of sin’s pull and embrace of the way of Jesus, acceptable worship is discovered.

Be encouraged, sisters, for though the work is hard, the worshiper who strives to live a life that truly glorifies and honors God will uncover an inexhaustible resource of power and purpose God reserves for His true worshipers.

“For those who honor Me I will honor.” (1 Samuel 2:30)

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Worship IX Week Two! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Looking for other journeys from this theme?
Here’s a link to all past studies in Worship IX!

The GT Weekend! ~ Waiting Week 2

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The GT Weekend!

At Gracefully Truthful, weekends aren’t for “checking out”.
Use this time to invite the Almighty’s fullness into you life in a deeper way!
Saturdays and Sundays are a chance to
reflect, rest, and re-center our lives onto Christ.
Don’t miss the opportunity to connect with other women in prayer,
rest your soul in reflective journaling,
and spend time worshiping the Creator who
longs for intimacy with each of us!

Worship Through Journaling

Worship Through Journaling

1) The story of God’s people is one full of waiting and watching. From Adam and Eve, to Abraham and Sarah, to David and the prophets, nearly everyone in Scripture waits for the Lord to work. Often the stories we read show us our own human nature of waiting poorly. In the waiting, our doubts and our sin so easily ensnare us. Not only that, but we get so caught up in our day-to-day trials, we forget to look for the work God is doing. What are you waiting for? How are you living as you wait? Is your mind caught up with fretting about the thing you are waiting for and how to ensure it arrives? Or do you distract yourself so you won’t even think about it. Spend some time in self-reflection. Confess the ways you are waiting poorly, and ask God to give you a steadfast hope in His good timing. Meditate on the truth of God’s faithfulness by writing out Psalm 13 and praying it aloud to God as you write.

2) As we wait on the Lord, we will inevitably face questions and doubts. Will God keep His promises? Am I hearing Him correctly? Can I trust Him? Maybe we will discover that what we thought we were waiting for was not, in fact, God’s plan for us. Maybe we will find that the time we spent waiting has changed both us and our desires. Are you willing to put your trust in the all-knowing all-powerful God who has promised that all things will work for the good of those who love Him? What hopes and dreams are you holding onto? Where are you questioning God’s goodness? How are you anxious about the future? Can you submit those dreams, questions, and fears to almighty God? How has He shown Himself faithful to you before? God tells His people time and time again to remember His faithfulness. Take some time to look back today on how the Lord has been present. Remember the goodness God has shown you in the past, and submit to His will for your present and your future. Remember Him in the waiting.

3) In Friday’s journey, we considered the rich tapestry of history God has woven by His good will, and continues to work until the end of time. Sarah reminded us that while we see the messy underside and crisscrossed threads that don’t make sense to us, God sees the big picture. This image resonated with me as a person who enjoys crafting. I can’t tell you how many times I have re-started a crochet project because something didn’t look right, or because I hadn’t read the instructions properly, or because I was confused. Praise God He knows what He is doing from eternity past to eternity future; He never needs to unravel the work He has begun. Do you trust that God’s timing is perfect and abundantly more merciful and good than we can imagine? Do you trust He knows what He is doing, even when we don’t? Consider the works of your hands. Perhaps you sew or crochet, maybe you paint or write, or maybe you are an expert home organizer (can you share some of that skill with me?!). Often our projects start messy and get worse before they get better. As you do your work today, consider the great plan God has for all of history and entrust to His care all of your hopes, dreams, and desires. Ask Him to sustain you in all things.

Praying Scripture back to the One who wrote it in the first place is a great way to jump start our prayer-life! Pray this passage from Isaiah 40:28-31a back to the Lord and
let His Spirit speak to you through it!

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
The Creator of the whole earth.
He never becomes faint or weary;
There is no limit to His understanding.
He gives strength to the powerless.
Youths may become faint and weary,
And young men stumble and fall,
But those who trust in the Lord
Will renew their strength…

Prayer Journal
Oh Lord, our Hope in times of trouble, our Grace in times of restless waiting. You give us rest for our souls. You give us security in Your completed work. You are the Creator and Sustainer of all things, and we trust You. My sight is limited, my knowledge incomplete, but You, oh God, have a good plan. Help me to trust You when my faith grows weak. Forgive me for my tendency to doubt and attempts to fix everything myself. Forgive me, and strengthen me, for Your great glory. Father, I commit to You my every step. My future is in Your hands, and I rest securely, knowing You will do what You have said. Help me to be bold in my faith, proclaiming Your goodness to a lost and broken world. May my life show Your good will to those around me: my children, my neighbors, my church, and my community. May my life be a testimony to Your great faithfulness.

Worship Through Community

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Send us an email at prayer@gracefullytruthful.com

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Share how God spoke to you today!
Comment Here or in our Facebook Community Group!

Worship Through Prayer

Worship Through Music

Worship VIII Day 14 My Victory: Digging Deeper

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Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out My Victory!

The Questions

1) What is meant by the words ‘treasure in clay jars’? (verse 7)

2) Why is it important for power to come from God and not us? (verse 7)

3) How can we remain positive, like Paul in verses 8-9, when everything around us seems to go wrong?

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

7  Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. 8  We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; 9  we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed.

Original Intent

1) What is meant by the words ‘treasure in clay jars’? (verse 7)
“Treasure”; it’s such a beautiful word and found quite often in the Bible. In some instances it refers to riches (Ezra 6:1, King James Version), a storehouse (2 Chronicles 5:1, King James Version), or hidden treasures (Deuteronomy 33:19). In the New Testament, it is often found in relation to the Kingdom of Heaven. I specifically think of the parable of the Hidden Treasure (Matthew 13:44), where Jesus talks about the Kingdom of Heaven as being a treasure that was buried in a field. A man found it, sold everything he owned, and bought the field. In our verse for today, the treasure refers to the gospel. It’s the good news that, though we are sinners separated from God, Jesus as God the Son, became like us in human flesh to take our punishment of death and separation on Himself, sparring all who surrender in trust to Him. The truth of the gospel is a treasure so great, it’s difficult for us to understand its true value. The treasure Paul speaks about, is said to be carried around in “clay jars.” These earthen vessels were used in ancient culture to be filled up with items and carried about, but the clay is fragile. If it falls, it could easily break. This symbolism refers to our own weak bodies on the outside, but in our hearts, we carry the treasure of the gospel to share with others around us.

2) Why is it important for power to come from God and not us? (verse 7)
This question has two short answers, simple to understand, but more difficult to surrender to and live out. First, because we are sinful, finite human beings who truly have no power at all, and certainly no ability to save ourselves from our eternal punishment of sin and death, we are immediately disqualified from giving power to ourselves. The power we have comes from God as He is the only One who holds ultimate authority. It is He who declares us, sinful though we are, as righteous when we give ourselves fully to Him. It is He who has the power to forgive us, the power to free us from sin, the power to make us more like Himself, and the power to safeguard our souls for all eternity. There is none like Him! Paul states in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “For when I am weak, then I am strong”, meaning that God will make him strong through the platform of his own weakness. Power doesn’t come from us, but from our Father in Heaven. (2 Timothy 1:7) Secondly, the power comes from God because, even if we could use our own power, we would have reason to boast in our ability, stealing the rightful glory from God alone. (Ephesians 2:9) Instead, we should join Paul by saying, “If boasting is necessary, I will boast about my weaknesses” (2 Corinthians 11:30), and “boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:31)

3) How can we remain positive, like Paul in verses 8-9, when everything around us seems to go wrong?
Paul makes it clear in his many letters that his strength came from the Lord alone. Daily, he gave himself to Jesus and died to himself and his self-focused desires. (1 Corinthians 15:31) He tells us to do the same as we commit to following Jesus, “So, you too consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 6:11) Paul surrendered to Jesus with everything he had and he held onto the hope of eternal life offered only through Christ. He trusted Jesus with his whole life and lived out his surrender with his everyday decisions. He knew with confidence that, one day, he would be with the King of kings. Nothing else mattered in light of that reality. This truth motivated Paul to keep moving forward until the day he gave his physical life for Christ in death.

Everyday Application

1) What is meant by the words ‘treasure in clay jars’? (verse 7)
We live in a world where we’re busy running here and there. Often, even Christians are too busy to open their Bible, read it, study it, and ask the Lord to show us how to apply its truth to our lives. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day! Yet, this single discipline is so important for us to dedicate time, attention, and priority. The Word of God holds an indescribable worth of treasure. We need to soak ourselves in His Word. We need to pray and grow closer to Jesus, no matter how busy we are. When we have a close relationship with our Saviour, we become increasingly aware of the wonderful treasure we carry inside our fragile human bodies, and we long to share this beautiful gift with the world! God gives us the mission to go out and spread the treasure of the gospel. (Matthew 28:20) He doesn’t give this important calling to His angels, but to us, mortal sinners who are utterly hopeless without Christ. Our only hope for eternal life and salvation is found through the precious blood of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:18-19) Together, let’s be a worthy vessel for God and share His “treasure in clay jars”. Let’s start today!

2) Why is it important for power to come from God and not us? (verse 7)
When we go out into the world, whether it’s in our neighbourhood or on mission across the globe, we should always remember the reality that, without the Spirit of God, we are incapable of doing anything that will last into eternity. Jesus described Himself as the vine where we are the branches. He is the Source of everything, and we are invited into Him to accomplish His work in the world through Him. As long as we abide in Him, and He in us, we will bring forth much fruit for His kingdom. (John 15:5) In other words, the gospel will go out in power because of Christ’s Spirit at work in and through us. Jesus continues, if we refuse to abide in Him, we will be rendered useless in His kingdom. (John 15:5) The power doesn’t come from us, but we must make the important decision of walking in surrender to Christ. If we want to share the treasure of the gospel with others, it’s vitally important we remain close to Jesus through prayer, studying Scripture, and living in biblical community as we daily surrender our will to His.

3) How can we remain positive, like Paul in verses 8-9, when everything around us seems to go wrong?
Jesus warned us we would have hardship and troubles in our lives. He told us to follow Him and carry our cross, putting to death our self-serving desires in order to live fully surrendered to Christ. (Matthew 16:24) He didn’t say these things to frighten us. No, the opposite is true. He wanted us to know that life would be challenging as we committed to following and surrendering to Jesus, more challenging than we could imagine. In light of this, He told us to not fear over and over again. (Matthew 8:26; Matthew 14:27; Mark 5:36; Luke 12:7) The list of passages where God commands those who trust Him to leave behind all fear fills the pages of Scripture from Genesis to Revelation. Even in the Old Testament, we hear the Lord say, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) Just like Paul, we are called to leave fear behind us, instead fixing our eyes of faith on Jesus and the promise that He will always be with us, even for the rest of eternity! (Matthew 28:20) Let’s keep in the forefront of our mind, that all troubles aren’t even worth comparing the greatness of that One Day when we will dwell with God in His fullness forever. He will wipe all tears from our eyes and keep us in His perfect, joyous peace. (Revelation 7:17)

What do YOU think?! Share Here!
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Catch up with My Victory!

Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

Digging Deeper Community

Share What You’ve Learned!
Pray Together!
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Our Current Study Theme!

This is Worship VIII Week Three!
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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

Memorize It!

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Reveal Day 2 Until He Appears: Digging Deeper

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Digging Deeper Days

Finding the original intent of Scripture and making good application to our everyday lives as we become equipped to correctly handle the Word of Truth!

Yesterday’s Journey Study connects with today’s!
Check out Until He Appears!

The Questions

1) What should we do when we call out to the Lord, but He does not save? (verse 2)

2) Why would God tolerate wrongdoing? (verse 3)

3) How can justice come out perverted? (verse 4)

Habakkuk 1:1-4

1The pronouncement that the prophet Habakkuk saw. 2 How long, Lord, must I call for help and you do not listen or cry out to you about violence and you do not save? 3 Why do you force me to look at injustice?  Why do you tolerate* wrongdoing? Oppression and violence are right in front of me. Strife is ongoing, and conflict escalates.  4 This is why the law is ineffective and justice never emerges. For the wicked restrict the righteous; therefore, justice comes out perverted.

Original Intent

1) What should we do when we call out to the Lord, but He does not save? (verse 2)
The prophet Habakkuk had a problem. Commentator J.M. Boice describes his scenario like this, “He had lived through a period of national revival followed by a period of spiritual decline.” Under King Josiah’s reign, the nation of Judah followed God, but under successive kings, the country fell into sin.  Distressed by the immorality and injustice all around him, Habakkuk called upon God to save His people. He implored, “How long, Lord, must I call for help and you do not listen or cry out to you about violence and you do not save?” (Habakkuk 1:2) Habakkuk grew frustrated that His holy God was not stepping in to rescue the faithful from their broken situation. He wanted the Lord to swoop in and restore His people, but that was not God’s plan. When God told Habakkuk His plan included letting the Babylonians (or Chaldeans,) attack and conquer the nation as part of His judgment, Habakkuk was horrified (Habakkuk 1:6-12) This was not salvation! This would be the end of the world as he knew it. Habakkuk wondered, and pressed back, at God’s plan, so he went up into a watchtower to seek and wait on the Lord for a better answer. (Habakkuk 2:1) God patiently answered Habakkuk, explaining His plan and telling His prophet that the righteous will live by faith. (Habakkuk 2:4) Eventually, Habakkuk was reconciled to the fact that God is sovereign. As a result, Habakkuk was able to rejoice in God and the strength He gives (Habakkuk 3:18-19) For a long time, God seemed unwilling to save the nation of Judah, and when His plan finally came to Habakkuk, it seemed worse than the current situation, but the prophet pursued God and His ways. God granted him this clarity, not in full, but in part, along with peace about God’s design over Habakkuk’s. God welcomed Habakkuk’s questions as he struggled to understand God’s plan, and He encourages the same from us. God promises if we call to Him, pray to Him, and seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

2) Why would God tolerate wrongdoing? (verse 3)
The prophet Habakkuk is heartsick at the sin and injustice he sees all around him. He wonders why a just and holy God would put up with such wickedness. In Habakkuk 1:3 he asks, “Why do you force me to look at injustice?  Why do you tolerate wrongdoing? Oppression and violence are right in front of me. Strife is ongoing, and conflict escalates.” When Habakkuk discovered God’s plan for dealing with Judah’s wickedness was to hand them over to the Babylonians, he was shocked and dismayed. (Habakkuk 1:12-13) Author R. C. Sproul explains, “Habakkuk couldn’t understand how God could use the evil Babylonians to chastise His people, when it seemed from a human perspective that the Lord’s purposes for Israel had failed and His faithful servants would not be vindicated. God responded that those He regards as righteous live by faith (Habakkuk 2:4).” God taught Habakkuk he could have faith in Him regardless of the situation.  Often, it seems like God is letting the bad guys get away with evil and it’s hard to accept that His plan isn’t to wipe them all out or bring them all down.  Sometimes, like in the days of Habakkuk, evil seems to go unchecked and God’s plan to deal with it seems slow and difficult to accept. We wonder, “Where is God?” or “When will He act?”  Author Ravi Zacharias assures us, “It is not that God has absconded or is absent; it is that there is a divine purpose behind His visibility or invisibility. If one can rightly read the clues, the mystery is opened up in profound ways. Just as evil can be understood only in the light of the ultimate purpose, so also must God’s presence or seeming absence be judged on the basis of His purpose.”  We can trust that God has a purpose for what He is doing and what He allows, even when we can’t envision it at the time.

3) How can justice come out perverted? (verse 4)
Habakkuk 1:4 reads from the prophet, “This is why the law is ineffective and justice never emerges. For the wicked restrict the righteous; therefore, justice comes out perverted.” The prophet Habakkuk abhorred the fact that God’s laws were being ignored and His people were flagrantly sinning and injuring one another. He watched in despair as those in authority either did nothing or participated in the abuses. Author Jack Arnold explains, “In all of Judah, the Mosaic Law was of no effect. Literally, this says the law was “frozen” or “chilled.” Wickedness numbs the Word of God. Law was on the books, but it was not enforced. Law had no authority. Because of unrighteous judges, the Law was made ineffective.” There was no justice in the land, only a perverted version bearing no resemblance to the righteousness laid out by the laws of God. When Habakkuk asks God why He doesn’t intervene, the answer God gives brings even more distress because He plans to send the wicked Babylonians to conquer the disobedient people of Judah. (Habakkuk 1:6) God eventually helps Habakkuk see His punishment as just. As author Chuck Swindoll notes how the story of Habakkuk “reminds us that while God may seem silent and uninvolved in our world, He always has a plan to deal with evil and always works out justice . . . eventually. The example of the prophet Habakkuk encourages believers to wait on the Lord, expecting that He will indeed work out all things for our good (Romans 8:28).”  Even when it seems like everything around us is wicked and falling apart, God has a plan for true justice to be enacted. It may not be on the timetable we want or in the manner we prefer, but God will always bring about true justice.

Everyday Application

1) What should we do when we call out to the Lord, but He does not save? (verse 2)
My friend struggles daily with physical ailments. She stays strong for her family, but she grows desperate for relief from her pain. Remaining hopeful is hard when no end is in sight. She longs to know why God hasn’t yet answered her prayers for healing. We have all been in similar situations, desperate to break free from persistent struggles with no coming relief.  Habakkuk experienced this enigma as well. He continually called on God to save his wayward nation, but instead of the hoped-for rescue, God revealed a plan that would greatly devastate Judah. (Habakkuk 1:2-11) Habakkuk struggled to accept God’s decision and questioned His drastic plan. (Habakkuk 1:12-17) Author Jennifer Rothschild notes, “because God loved His prophet perfectly, He didn’t give His prophet the perfect answer that Habakkuk wanted to hear, He gave him something better. He lifted Habakkuk’s spirit and gave him perspective.” This truth can be hard to accept, as it was for Habakkuk. No one wants to go through hard things that will undoubtedly bring pain and will forever change us. Habakkuk knew God’s plan would mean hardship and suffering, but he also recognized God requires the righteous to live by faith. (Habakkuk 2:4) Habakkuk knew he could trust his life and his nation to God because of His faithful, unchanging character. Jesus had this same experience in the garden of Gethsemane as He prayed deeply before being turned over to His accusers. Matthew 26:38-39 tells us, “He said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake with me.’  Going a little farther, he fell face down and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.’” How remarkable that Jesus Himself prayed for a resolution He wanted, but accepted the will of the Father instead! God cares about our situations and our desperation. We can trust He is in control even when He seems not to answer, or when He gives an answer that we don’t like. Though we may neither agree nor understand, we can always trust His perfect will and faithful character.

2) Why would God tolerate wrongdoing? (verse 3)
If God controls everything, why allow tragedy and sickness? Of course, even acknowledging there is evil supposes there is also good, and this is where God comes in! Author Ravi Zacharias points out, “Transcending value and justice must come from a Person of transcending worth and an ultimate law or value-giver. The only reason people have intrinsic worth is that they are the creation of One who is of ultimate worth and the perfect lawgiver. That person is God.” So, we only know about good because God is good.  But why does He allow evil in the world? Evil entered the world when Adam and Eve sinned by disobeying God. (Romans 5:12) As a result, the world came under the sway of the evil one (I John 5:19, Luke 4:6) and humans became objects of attack from the devil (1 Peter 5:8). God’s plan to save fallen humanity from the eternal consequence of their sin was the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. This work of Christ on the cross destroyed the power of sin and death, thwarting Satan’s plans for those who trust and believe in the Name of Jesus. (Hebrews 2:14) However, we still live in a sinful world, which Satan still rules for now. He still wages war against us, tempting us to give in to sin. At the second coming of Christ, evil will be vanquished forever when Satan is bound and thrown into the abyss of Hell. (Revelation 20:1-3) Pastor Tony Evans  explains, “God is holy; He can’t skip over our sin. He can’t tolerate evil, and we are all evil because of our sins. So for us to be able to draw near to God, Jesus’ death on the cross had to take place.” God’s plan for us involved a loving relationship with Him in a world without evil. Though sin kept us from God, He lovingly provided a bridge between Himself and humankind, this is Christ Jesus! Though we live in a world where evil exists, we hold tight to the hope of a future with Jesus where evil is no more (Revelation 21:3-4)

3) How can justice come out perverted? (verse 4)
I was a substitute teacher before having a full-time teaching job. I learned a lot about classroom discipline in those few months! Kids tested how far they could push the rules. It was obvious which classes had no rules and were confident they would face no real consequences when the teacher returned. I soon arrived at every job assignment with a backup lesson and rules of my own, just in case. I’ve had days in the classroom (even under my own management), when I was nearly as dismayed and distressed as Habakkuk when he watched the laws of God being flouted and justice being perverted making it unfair and ineffective. (Habakkuk 1:4) I have felt frustrated with God when it appears He is doing nothing about injustice. (Habakkuk 1:1) I wondered how I was supposed to teach grammar to kids hungry from poverty or neglect, who were under house arrest for serious crimes, who suffered with addiction, were victims of abuse, or were pregnant and scared. Why would God let such bad things happen to these kids? Why didn’t He stop the evil? Author Margaret Manning writes, “In our world of unanswered questions or in the difficult places where the answers are not what we want to hear, we are called to rest in this wordless place beyond answers . . . we can rest in God’s faithfulness from ages past. The wordless place can be for us the place of trust, instead of fear.” When I took my worries about my students to the Lord, I realized He could be trusted with my burdens for them. In the waiting, I understood He had provided each child with teachers, counselors, and coaches who cared, including myself! Some of us were just doing our jobs well, but some of us were also trying to be the hands and feet of Jesus to our students. We could not proselytize, but we could pray for them and speak truth over them. We could provide respite from the cruelties of the world every day by extending Jesus’ comfort. God saw their distress, and he sent people to help them. He brought true justice through His people.

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Digging Deeper is for Everyone!

1) Take this passage (or any other passage).
2) Read it, and the verses around it,
several times
3) Write down your questions
as you think of them.
4) Ask specific culture related questions and be ready to dig around for your answers. Google them, use www.studylight.org, or look them up in a study Bible and read the footnotes (click on the little letters next to a word and it will show you
other related verses!). (www.esvbible.org)
5) Check your applications with other trusted Christians that you are in community with and embrace the fullness of God
in your everyday!

Digging Deeper Community

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Why Dig Deeper?

Finding the original meaning is a huge deal when we study Scripture and can make all the difference in our understanding as we apply God’s truths to our everyday lives.

In our modern-day relationships, we want people to understand our original intention as we communicate; how much more so between God and humanity?!

Here’s a little bit more on why we take Digging Deeper so seriously.

Study Tools

We love getting help while we study and www.studylight.org is one of many excellent resources, providing the original Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament) with an English translation.

Want to know more about a specific word in a verse? Click on “Strong’s Interlinear Bible” then click the word you’d like to study. Discover “origin”, “definition” and hear the original pronunciation – That Is Awesome!

Want more background? Click “Study Tools”, then pick a few commentaries to read their scholarly approach, keeping in mind that just because a commentary says it, doesn’t mean it’s true. (just like the internet :-))

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Ten Day 8 Worth Of One

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Exodus 20:13
Genesis 1:26-27
Exodus 21:22-25

Ten, Day 8

Be honest, sister.
Have you ever tried to earn God’s favor?

I’ll be the first to admit I have!

Entrapped in a multi- year-long season of legalism, I believed the Ten Commandments, as well as God’s instruction to the church in the New Testament, were provided as means for pleasing God with our behavior . . . to earn His favor. I subconsciously viewed my obedience as a means to control God. If I obeyed His commands, then surely God would love and protect me and no harm would come my way . . . right?

Wrong.
My limited perspective was nearsighted and false. As I have grown in my understanding of the Word, I’ve learned the commands of God reflect His character. They reveal His nature, His righteousness, His love, His goodness, and His desire for us to be holy, as He is holy. As we live in obedience to Him out of a heart of gratitude for His glorious gospel, we are transformed into His image and reflect Him to the watching world.

In our series on the Ten Commandments, we’ve reached God’s commandment, “Do not murder” (Exodus 20:13). Most everyone agrees murder is wrong, but have you ever pondered why? What makes murder so grievous? Today, we’ll unpack why murder is such an affront to the heart and nature of God.

Our conversation starts at the beginning of time, in the garden of Eden. As God created mankind, He proclaimed,
“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26)

We see the result of this proclamation in the very next verse:
“So God created man in his own image;
He created him in the image of God;
He created them male and female.” (Genesis 1:27)

This is precisely why murder so terrible; when someone murders a fellow human being, they are snuffing out the life of an image-bearer of God Himself.

The sacred nature of human life is further illustrated in this Levitical law:
“When men get in a fight and hit a pregnant woman so that her children are born prematurely but there is no injury, the one who hit her must be fined as the woman’s husband demands from him, and he must pay according to judicial assessment.  If there is an injury, then you must give life for life,  eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,  burn for burn, bruise for bruise, wound for wound.” (Exodus 21:22-25)

This law clearly illustrates the importance God places on a human life,
even the smallest and most vulnerable!

For believers living after Jesus’ death and resurrection, who live everyday with the gift of the Holy Spirit within us, this commandment takes on new meaning and a higher level of accountability. As Jesus teaches in Matthew 5, our abstention from murder should extend to unrighteous anger, insults, and denigrating or slanderous speech.

In fact, Scripture explains, such treatment of a fellow image-bearer reveals a heart of hatred. Hatred of another human, even our enemies, stands in direct opposition to the example set by Jesus’ sacrificial death.

Instead, Jesus calls us to love our enemies and offers us a living demonstration: even in the midst of His agony on the cross, He didn’t spew judgement or hatred. His heart of mercy triumphed over the pain of injustice His body suffered as He interceded for His tormentors.

“Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)

God’s command to preserve life, working in concert with the other passages we’ve discussed, creates a beautiful picture of the Father’s fierce heart of love for His children. The command truly comes alive and we see, for perhaps the first time, just how highly God esteems us as His creations. We bear the image, the breath, and the Spirit of Almighty God. Therefore, rather than taking a life, we are called to willingly lay down our own lives, in gratitude and love for the One who gave Himself to rescue us.

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Neighbor Day 11 The Neighbor Who Wounds

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Luke 10:25-37
Luke 9:51-53
Luke 4:14-30

Neighbor, Day 11

“The one who showed mercy…” 

I read “wounded” and my heart reels.

I know wounded.
I know slowly retreating to care for the deep cuts and sharp blows I’ve endured.
I know sprinting away from the lashes against me.
I know wounds so deep they begin to look healed on the outside, but still throb and gape.
I know wounded, friend.

I bet you do, too.
But no one knows wounded quite like our Jesus. 

In Luke 10, Jesus tells a fictional story about a Jewish traveler attacked by robbers and left for dead.

Wounded. 

Two men passed by the nearly lifeless body, a priest and a Levite, both religious and both the same race as the wounded man, but they didn’t stop.
They saw him, and they chose to look away.

Wounded. 

Then a Samaritan man enters the scene.
The original audience of the story possessed the context to understand this Samaritan man was wounded, too. But, like so many of us, his wounds weren’t visible.

At the time Jesus told this parable, Samaritans and Jews had a long-standing rivalry, spanning hundreds of years. Due to the mixed Assyrian and Jewish genealogy of Samaritans, Jews resented Samaritans’ “impure blood line” and often treated them like trash.

We know from a true story in Scripture that Jews and Samaritans never interacted with one another (John 4:9), and even Jesus wasn’t received by Samaritans when He was heading into Jerusalem. (Luke 9:51-53)

We don’t know the kind of ridicule this Samaritan endured from Jews, but undoubtedly, the hatred seething from the Jewish community cut him deeply.

Wounded.

Yet, we see the Samaritan man, wounded by the Jews, breaking barriers of racism by caring for the physically wounded Jewish man.

We’ve all been wounded.
Maybe, like the Jewish man, we’ve been physically and emotionally wounded from abuse.
Maybe, like the Jewish man, we’ve been spiritually wounded by “religion” and people in leadership positions who’ve told us we’re too dirty and too damaged to be worth helping.
Maybe, like the Samaritan, we’ve been wounded by society, or racial and economic barriers.
Or maybe we’ve been wounded by something else….
friends, family, business deals, jobs, the government. 

But Jesus?
He was wounded by it all. 

He took on the sins of the world when He suffered on the cross,
eventually dying from the extreme torture He endured.
He was wounded physically and emotionally.

He was wounded by the religion bearing the same name as His nationality,
and He – who IS God – was killed by the religious people who claimed to worship God.

Jesus knows wounded, friend.

He knows the sharp pains piercing our hearts by betrayal. (Luke 22:3-6)
He knows the hurt embedded in us when grief becomes part of our story. (John 11:32-36)
He knows the rejection of people who have loved us and known us for our entire lives. (Luke 4:14-30)

Jesus knows wounded.

Because Jesus knew wounded so well, because He allowed Himself to be wounded beyond recognition, so badly He eventually died …

We don’t have to live a wounded life.
We have hope.

So, what do we do about the people who hurt us?
What do we do with this story about a wounded man loving another wounded man?
How do we love those who have wounded us?

Mercy.
Compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm. 

The Samaritan had every excuse to ignore the beaten man on the side of the road. This Jewish man had spent his entire life scoffing and scorning Samaritans, believing they were a lesser people, unwanted by God. And even if he didn’t believe it, his people did.

No one would’ve been surprised if the Samaritan kept walking.

But mercy.

Mercy isn’t just the Samaritan’s compassion, but the forgiveness he displayed toward a man he could’ve left for dead.

Mercy is the forgiveness God offers to us, even though we deserve death.

Mercy is hard, isn’t it?
I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about loving the people who inflicted my deepest wounds.

Friends, I cannot go on without emphasizing that forgiveness and even love are completely possible while still maintaining strong boundaries.

Sometimes, you can love someone best by enforcing boundaries, and forgiveness does not mean boundaries must be removed or even lowered. Abusive and toxic relationships can cause some of our deepest wounds, and we can forgive abusers while still protecting ourselves.

I want to be “the one who showed mercy”. (Luke 10:37)
I want to live ready to show compassion and offer forgiveness to people who have wounded me. I want to love my neighbors, even the ones who have wounded me.

Merciful love is going to take all of me, and all of you.
It’s going to take all of our strength.
But it’s worth the struggle because of
Jesus, the One who showed us mercy.
If He can be merciful to us, surely, with His strength, we can extend mercy to others.

We, too, can be . . . the ones who show mercy. 

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

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Sketched VII Day 11 My Shaping Moments

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Read His Words Before Ours!

1 Timothy 1:12-20
John 12:23-28
1 Corinthians 15:35-49

Sketched VII, Day 11

I can feel my coffee cooling as time passes between us. I fix my gaze on Billy, hunched across the table from me, head hanging low and shame creeping up his neck. He has every right to be upset: his home life is a mess and his girlfriend just broke up with him.

This. This moment is everything to me as a youth pastor. And yet, during my training, I never saw it coming.

In high school, I developed a deep, lasting friendship with my youth pastor. He called out the best in me, challenged me, and saw something in me I’d never seen in myself.

Following an abrupt change in pastoral leadership during my senior year, I volunteered to help lead a mission trip. Thus, I became the first unofficial youth ministry intern.

As I served under the discipleship of my youth pastor, my faith became real. I began to long for others to experience the magnitude of God, as I had. I am most alive when I see others take steps forward in their faith, steps from death to everlasting life. It is my life’s devotion.

I’m brought back to the present by Billy’s shaky sigh. He’s on the verge of speaking. I wait, allowing the silence to penetrate his soul. I’m in no rush. This moment in time is just for Billy. 

These moments, teetering on the cusp of breakthrough, are pivotal. My best days in student ministry have never been behind a desk, prepping for a catchy Wednesday night message. No, my best days have always been at a table shared with a kindred or hurting spirit.

It took me a while to learn this. I landed a job at Living Stones Community Church before my college graduation.  On my first day of work, I rolled up in my car with a backseat full of textbooks and the latest and greatest resources.

With my pride-puffed chest and irremovable smile, I approached the lead pastor as he watered flowers and we began chatting. “Adam,” he remarked a few minutes later, “you’re going to find out ministry is more than just sermon prep.”

My face remained attentive while I silently scoffed, “That’s what you think. People are going to be changed because of MY convicting sermons. Just you wait. Living Stones isn’t going to know what hit it.”

I began spending my days preparing my sermons. I would sit and dream, praying about what God wanted me to teach my students.

And yet, I was working completely alone. It was lonely, isolating, and depressing.

Then, a mentor told me, “If you want to shepherd but hate sheep, you need to go home.” 

BOOM.

It was the punch-in-the-gut conviction I needed.

I couldn’t just sit behind a desk preparing sermons,
or change the name of the youth group to make it sound catchier,
or buy the latest youth packages available,
and call my efforts discipleship or even pastoring.

I needed to love the students where they were, in hospitals, schools, at basketball games, and school performances. God began giving me a Gospel-ache to help other student pastors love their sheep well. 

Eventually, I began a Student Pastor Network in our area. Once a month, we pray for one another and share ideas.

I also began getting a little dirtier with my students.
I sat in their mess with them.
I stopped preaching at my sheep and began loving them.

I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the transformation He’s worked in my heart. If I’d remained unchanged, I wouldn’t be sitting with Billy, helping him navigate hard questions and confusing times.

“But, Adam?” Billy says. “All of this mess, all of the hard times and sad nights and even loneliness, it’s all worth it for one life, isn’t it? If I get to see my dad come to know Jesus because of everything I’ve been through, it’ll be worth it, right?”

I understand his question; we ask our youth group, “Who is the ONE LIFE you’re praying will come to know and trust Jesus? What is your role in the process?”

I wonder if Billy is also asking if he’s worth it to me. Billy joined our youth group in the midst of my chaotic personal life, and came to know Jesus when I shared the messy truth even pastors are faced with tremendous losses and life-altering, hard decisions.

“Billy,” I say, “it is completely worth it. You are the one life who’s made my struggles worth the pain. My trials aren’t easier, and my messes aren’t cleaner. But God used you to remind me I have hope and purpose.” Billy’s eyes soften as truth settles over him and soothes his heart.

As Billy and I wrap up our time together, I pray over him and ask if I’ll see him at FCA the next morning. I’ve learned connecting with teenagers doesn’t just look like chatting with them when they’re at church, or sharing memes during my sermons, or even trying to use their slang when interacting.

The truth is, I’m going to grow more “out of touch” as I grow older, and it’s ok! I don’t need to be one of them, I need to be with them. I work hard to become a student of my students.

Teenagers are charting new waters, ones many of us have never faced. They are learning to navigate the world not only in person, but digitally. These days, students are bolder with their thumbs than with their mouths, and they need help ensuring what pours from their mouths and their devices reflects what’s inside their hearts. That’s just one of my jobs as their pastor.

I strive to unite all of the roles I fill behind my ultimate calling to preserve the bride of Christ. The Church is certainly not perfect, but she is beautiful, and I want to live and pastor as He leads.

I pull into the church parking lot and give our lead pastor a little wave as I head back inside; he’s watering the flowers again.

It’s been eight years since I began working at this church, and I’m a different man. Our pastor knows I’m heading inside to prep my message. But he also knows I came from meeting with Billy.

It turns out, he was right. There is so much more to ministry than sermon prep.

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A Note About Sketched
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters throughout history. Some are biblical, some are well-known in modern day times, and some are people our writers know personally. We do our best to research the culture and times surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives on life and the world, but we can’t be 100% accurate. “Sketched” is our best interpretation of how these characters view(ed) God, themselves, and the world around them. Our hope is that by stepping into their everyday, we will see our own lives a little differently!
Enjoy!
And keep watching for Sketched Themes to pop up throughout the year!

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

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Treasure Day 13 Living Treasure

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Read His Words Before Ours!

Deuteronomy 7:6-9
Matthew 13:44-46
2 Corinthians 4:1-18
1 Peter 1:13-25
1 Peter 2:1-9

Treasure, Day 13

Treasure.

What images fill your mind when you read the word? Mounds of gold? Rubies, diamonds, or other costly gems? The fanciful Cave of Wonders from Aladdin? Scrooge McDuck and his millions? Captain Jack Sparrow and his endless quest for bounty? Maybe you’re like me, and your mind is instantly filled with glimpses of Gollum and his “Precious.” (Thank you, Mr. Tolkien.)

Interestingly, of all the things most of us picture when it comes to treasure, actual people are close to, if not the, very last on our list.

And yet, treasure is exactly what our Creator God says we are.

“But you are a chosen race,
a royal priesthood,
a holy nation,
a people for His possession,
so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9)

Let’s talk about treasure for a minute.

What do people usually do with treasure?

We take care of it, right? We might hide it, or bury it, or (if we’re being current) take it to the bank.
We protect it, keeping it for ourselves.

In Matthew, Jesus weaves the stories of the man who finds a treasure in a field, and of the pearl of great worth. His parables make perfect sense and resonate with us because they fall in line with our natural tendencies to hide, protect, save and keep treasure for ourselves. We might take it out to look at from time to time, but for the most part, we tuck it away and leave it alone.

What does God do with His treasure (read: us)?
He takes care of us.
He hides us in Himself.
He sets us apart.

Here the similarities end, because His ways are not our ways, and His purpose is much greater than anything we could envision. He hides us for a season, as He is working in and on us, but His end game is to reveal His handiwork to all.

Next, He polishes us and purifies us, getting rid of everything marring the beauty and testimony of His transformative, powerful handiwork. If you’ve been through any of His polishing, you know it’s a life-changing, beautifully brutal process by which He eliminates our dross and cultivates His refined glory in our lives.

Scripture clearly shows us we are treasured in God’s eyes and heart…but are we living this truth? 

Do you honestly believe you, Dear One, are treasure? I mean, really, deep down in your heart, do you believe it? Your spirit believes it, sure. If you’ve given your life and heart to Him, your spirit is joined to His already by the work of the cross.

But does your soul (your heart, mind, emotions, and will) operate daily in the reality of the truth? 

To put it another way, when you look in the mirror, do you wince and turn away?When you think about yourself, do you think in treasured terms?
Is your self-speech lovely and kind? Or is it harsh and critical?
Do you joke about how “terrible” you are, or make light of your shortcomings in a self-effacing kind of way?

Sweet friend. I’m guilty of it, too. But it ought not be this way.

Believe it or not, poor talk and thoughts about ourselves are actually a form of self-idolatry. We are called to align ourselves with His truth, not to adopt whatever bits and pieces of His truth fit our own personal narrative.

When we insist on thinking about ourselves in any way other than what He says about us, we are effectively elevating our own selves, and what we think is true, above our Creator. Ouch.

Friend, how can we expect to be a light and share His love with the world, when we don’t even believe He loves us the way He says He does? How can we ever hope to make a difference in the lives of those in our spheres of influence, or in the lives of our very children, if we do not believe and live what we claim to believe?

And further, how in the world do we expect to genuinely care for others in the Church as treasure, when we don’t even believe we are treasured by Him?

Hard questions, I know. I’m squirming, too. 

But Loves, we have to stay here in this uncomfortable place and wrestle with this until we get it.
Because this is big “T” Truth.
Because this is how He loves us, and how He calls us to love: by edifying our brothers and sisters in Christ and treat them as the treasures they are!

Lord, You are worthy of all my praise. I repent of not agreeing with You about who and what You say I am. I break agreement with the negative self-talk I have been using, and I agree with Your Word, which says I am treasured, loved, and a masterpiece. Help me to keep from speaking poorly about myself, and renew my mind with true thoughts in alignment with Your Word. My life belongs to You. In Jesus’s Name, amen.

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Embracing God’s fullness in our lives is rooted in scripture and memorizing His word is vital to our continued growth and depth with Jesus. Tap and hold from your mobile device to download this week’s verse and make it your phone’s lockscreen!

Thanks for joining us today as we journeyed into Treasure Week Three! Don’t miss out on the discussion below – we’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Cross Day 5 Judas

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Read His Words Before Ours!

John 6:64-71
Acts 1:16-20
Matthew 27:3-10
Isaiah 59:1-3

Cross, Day 5

I did everything I was supposed to do.
I followed Him.
I witnessed miracles.
I performed miracles.
I preached about Him.
I cast out demons.

My hands grip the rough trunk of the olive tree, my mouth tastes of the natural fibers of the rope as I climb. The taste of bile still lingers in my mouth, and my stomach turns as I feel the hot acid rising into my throat again. My head pounds and sweat drips down my back. I’m not sure if the pounding headache is from weeping or rage.

“Follow Me”, He said, and I did.
I left everything for Him!
For what? For riddles and jokes?
I left my life to follow a man who scoffed at my lack of faith?
Who demanded worship and said He was God?
I gave up everything for Him?

My grunt, as I climb another branch, turns into a deep growl and then into a shout.

I hate You! You demanded I leave everything behind – my family, my friends, even the extra clothes I owned to further Your name – all for what?
Nothing.
I walked hundreds – no – thousands of miles, my feet bloodied, blistered and filthy, for You to have Your feet washed by a prostitute? While I sat and watched, my feet throbbing with each beat of my pounding heart. And then, Your feet were washed again? By another woman? You told me to give up everything, and yet You allowed two women to waste their expensive perfume just to wash your feet. The other disciples watched in awe, just the sight of their faces, gawking over the exhibition, made me sick.

I look down below, the ground is further away, but not far enough. I can’t climb too high, or the branches will be too thin. My breathing is getting faster by the moment and my thoughts escape with a shout every so often. I pause to catch my breath, wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs, and look out over the land. The scenes of the days before flash before my eyes in fragments.

I tried. I really tried. I tried to make sense of the nonsense sermons He kept preaching.
I tried to answer His question correctly and ask questions to make me seem important and intellectual.
I thought if I acted the part well enough, I could eventually become everything He wanted me to be.
I wasn’t an idiot, like Peter, speaking before I thought, or trying to walk on water when it was impossible.
I left everything for Him.
And then I left Him.
And now, I have nothing.

That nothingness is exactly why I continue to climb.
I take the rope from my mouth for a moment and spit out loose hairs, willing moisture for my mouth, but I’m parched, physically and spiritually.

No matter how hard I tried to follow His rules and obey His commands, there was always something missing. Surely, I wasn’t the only one faking it. There’s no way every other disciple felt the joy and light Jesus spoke of. Balderdash. A bunch of blind sheep following a smooth-talker, and I allowed myself to get caught in it.

Yet…

How did He perform those miracles?
The crazed man who was set free from all those demons?
The blind made to see? The lame made to walk?
The woman healed just by touching the hem of His clothes?
And Lazarus.
We were all there for Lazarus.
…Maybe he wasn’t actually dead.

Maybe.

But Jesus certainly is.

Jesus.

I reach for the next limb, but my hand misses because the tree is moving so violently. I can’t tell if the tree shaking, or if my vision is construed. I can feel my body shaking, almost convulsing, uncontrollably. My head swirls as dizziness overtakes me and my vision grows dark.

I hate Him. I hate who He made me to be.
But I cannot deny His innocence.

I know He loves me.
Just a few days ago, He knelt and washed my feet.

My feet hit the warm water in the bowl just as He began dipping His hands in. He first took my right foot in His hands, taking care to have a gentler touch as He scrubbed close to my blisters. He rubbed one hand on the top of my foot, while the other held the bottom.
He then reached for my left foot, washing with the same care.

He looked up at me, and our eyes met.
His held His familiar knowing, like He always knew exactly what I was thinking.
But this time I saw pain, sorrow, and even love.
How can one’s eyes hold so much?

I looked around at the other men in and considered their friendship and our camaraderie. There had been many moments of confusion and frustration over our here-year journey, but there had been laughter, jokes, and even pranks as well. Inside jokes were our favorite; just a certain gesture or word would spark heaves of laughter.
Friendship grew across tables, on land, in boats, and in strangers’ homes.

But I had already lost it all. There was no undoing what I’d already done.

30 pieces of silver.

The price of a slave.

That’s what I had deemed Him worth.

I finally reach the perfect spot. I sit tall, gazing at the landscape before me.
I work to find even a moment of peace, but there is no peace to be had.

The pain in His eyes when I kissed His cheek. I shouldn’t have looked at His face, but I couldn’t help it.

I imagined his cries as each spike was driven into His skin, ripping out chunks of His flesh.

I’d seen my share of Roman crucifixions. It took little imagination to see Christ’s blood splatter on the ground, pouring from His open wounds.

Inside my head, I could not drown out the mob taunting and jeering, their anger so heavy it was palpable.

I shook my head to rid myself of the scenes that would not leave me.
I had done everything I was supposed to do.

One more image insistently took form before me:
Thirty pieces of silver.

I tried to give it back! I threw it at the priests begging them to take it, begging to hand over my iniquity. But they refused!

I have nothing.
No family.
No friends.
No Savior.

My hands have finished tying the knots and I carefully slip the loop over my neck. I tighten it until I can scarcely breathe. I take one final, labored breath through the constraints of the rope, and let my body fall.

Sisters, Judas thought he was doing everything right. He literally followed Jesus everywhere. He performed miracles and spread Jesus’ Name. Yet, Scripture says Judas did not have a saving faith. He was so caught in the “doing”, he completely missed Jesus’ entire mission: Save.
Judas died by hanging himself after attempting to return the money he’d earned for betraying Jesus. We can only imagine the grief Jesus felt knowing a man Jesus considered one of His best friends, had betrayed Him.

But that wasn’t Judas’ only mistake.
No, his next mistake was believing he wasn’t worth saving. He believed the lie that he was too far gone for even God to save. Jesus didn’t just die for you and me,
He died for Judas, too.

Judas couldn’t believe it. He never believed the truth that God saw him as worth dying for. Oh, beloved sisters, no one is too far gone.
Not Judas.
Not you.
Not me.


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A Note About Cross
In this series, we are stepping into the shoes of various characters in Scripture and looked through their eyes as they saw the cross. We do our best to research the culture and times and all biblical support surrounding these individuals to give an accurate representation of their first-person perspectives as they watched the crucifixion, but we can’t be 100% accurate. These first-person stories are our best interpretation of how these characters viewed Jesus as He gave Himself up for us. Our hope is that by looking through their eyes, we will see the Cross differently as well, and be dramatically changed as we encounter the Savior!
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